Candace Nassar (00:00)
Well, Bill, welcome to the MomQ podcast. I’m really looking forward to our conversation today. You have so much wisdom to share with our listeners. Let’s just dive in. So you began your career as a lawyer, but God led you into legacy and generosity ministry. What was the turning point for you?
Bill High (00:20)
I practiced law for 12 years, big law firm that had always felt that my call was to be part of tending the flock of God, that first Peter five, two and three verse. And the long story short, I was volunteering in urban ministry and the guys came to me and said, you got to figure out a way to raise money. So we went off and we started a Christian foundation. I left the law firm to go move into that world.
Did that for about 20 years and saw about $6 billion come into the foundation. So it was a great run. But as I was doing that work, I started having families come to me that said, look, we’ve got the generosity thing figured out, but we need help with our family. And I’m like, wow, okay. And what they said to me, they said, it’s like, we don’t want a lawyer, we don’t want an accountant, this is not financial planning.
We need help making our family successful. And so that was really this journey into what we call legacy planning.
Candace Nassar (01:21)
Wow, okay, so I love that. And how did your own family background shape your theology of legacy?
Bill High (01:28)
So I grew up in a very rough family background. My dad was the oldest of eight, lived in a three-room log cabin in the hills of the Missouri Ozarks. So it wasn’t the best family background by any means. He went over to Japan, joined the army, met my mom and brought her back, had six kids. She came from a nominal Buddhist background. We had virtually no, I had no idea there was even such a thing as the church or a Bible.
And then we ultimately ended up living in a small town outside of Kansas City, a hundred people and somebody had planted a church. And ultimately what happened is our neighbors two doors down brought us a children’s Bible storybook and that’s really what led me to faith. Is that the story of the Bible?
Candace Nassar (02:09)
Hmm.
That’s so good. you shared how the people of that community poured into your family because your father, I guess there was some issues with him and your mom just really leaned in and became a single mom, right?
Bill High (02:22)
Yeah, well, it wasn’t too long after I came to faith that he died. He had cancer. He was a heavy drinker, smoker, the whole bit. And so he died. And the kind of fascinating part of all that story is at the same time he was passing away is about the same time we were getting involved in church, this little 100 person church. Actually, not even a 100 person church. It was a 100 person town and maybe 25 people in the church. So, but
Candace Nassar (02:49)
That’s beautiful.
Bill High (02:51)
God is very clear in his word that he is a defender of the widow and a father to the fatherless. And that’s really what became true for me. Over time I just saw that God brought different father figures into my life. And the other part of the story that you’re asking about, the passion that developed for me is that after my dad died I was in seventh grade language arts class. My teacher was Mrs. Hoppe.
Candace Nassar (02:58)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (03:18)
And she gave us the assignment of keeping a journal for 30 days. Well, I kept that journal and I kept on going. So I’ve been journaling for about 50 years now. And in one of my earliest journals, I remember writing an entry that said, God, I’d really love to have a great family. I’ve got a passion for family and that’s what I want to do.
And so here I am all these years later, living out what God placed in my heart. And everybody that’s got that kind of a wound often wants to live it a different story. So that’s been my journey.
Candace Nassar (03:53)
Yes, I can so relate. And it’s so encouraging, we have moms in our community, in our gatherings, and as our listeners that are single moms. My mom was a single mom. And just to hear how God was faithful to put those people in your life and those father figures is really, really encouraging just to know that in the church, through those types of interactions and community, that part of your life can still be filled.
by God’s grace. And so I really think that’s great encouragement. So thanks for sharing that. And so when most people hear the word legacy, they think about inheritance or finances, but you define it biblically. So what does legacy really mean to you?
Bill High (04:35)
Yeah, you nailed it, Candice. Most people think about it as legacy is what you leave behind. They think about wills or trusts, or maybe if they’re from a college or university, they think about it as the name on the building. But the scriptures really teach this idea that legacy is what you set in motion. And that’s really the definition that we use because 2 Corinthians 5:10 says that we will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ and be held accountable for our deeds in the body, whether good or bad.
So all of us look forward to that day in heaven where we’ll stand at the throne and we’ll get to see people, friends, family, loved ones, perhaps missionaries that we invested in, the fruits of our labor. That’s legacy. That’s what we’re setting in motion so we can see what we put our hands to.
Candace Nassar (05:24)
You know, it’s really interesting. About a year or two ago, my husband and I finally bit the bullet and did some really professional legacy planning in terms of will and estate and that sort of thing. And it’s not like we have a bunch of money, but you know, you just have to, that’s something you have to do when you reach our age. And the, the people who were doing it, they’re non-believers of a law firm and they couldn’t get over. They kept asking us, you’re leaving everything to all three of your kids.
Like you’re not, you’re not going to cut one out or something like that. And we were just like, um, no, we, you know, all our children are equal and we love them all. And, but I just think that’s, it’s not, I mean, they were really surprised by that because that’s, that’s the world, right?
Bill High (06:10)
I don’t know if you’ve heard the statistic, but it is something like 25 % or more of kids who are alienated from parents today. It’s one of the really shocking statistics that’s out there. And a lot of that really has to do, Candace, what I would say is an improper family worldview.
The Western worldview of family is that we raise our kids, we kind of keep them together in the nest, and then we raise them up and then we kick them out. So I say it’s the up and out theory that you raise them up and kick them out so you can go retire and play golf. But it’s really this idea that we’re raising our kids to independence as opposed to the Bible is written from a collectivist worldview, a collectivist worldview. I’m not sure if you’ve heard that terminology, but it’s the idea that
Candace Nassar (06:41)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (07:00)
Mm-mm.
Bill High (07:01)
that when the Bible is written, it’s really written for a family, it’s written for a tribe, it’s written for a nation, and it’s written to a group of people. And so when the Middle Eastern people, the Israel, people from Israel read the Bible, they read it as a group, not just to me. And so the idea is that we are raised to be part of a team, we’re raised to be part of a family.
Candace Nassar (07:26)
Mm.
Bill High (07:27)
And that team idea means that even when my kids get to adulthood, they’re still part of the team. How can the family advance as opposed to just me? It’s a very different kind of mindset. There’s some really great writing about this history of family, the sociology of family, but that worldview makes a big difference, is that I’m raising a group of individuals or am I raising a team?
Candace Nassar (07:37)
Right.
Candace Nassar (07:52)
You know, it’s interesting you say that because that is the philosophy that we, my husband and I had raising our three kids was that we were a team and that we would always have each other. We helped our children understand that you’re the most important relationship each other is going to have in life. And, and we see that play out today. I mean, all of them are adults. One of them’s married, has a child, and they’re all still really close. Matter of fact, my youngest was visiting my daughter in New York last night and, on the way to a business trip.
So I think. I think you’re exactly right. I’ve seen it in my own life. I’ve seen it in those families that I actually patterned my raising my children after the strong Christian families that did that. And so I think that it’s a perfect segue into talking about your family conflict curriculum because that is obviously what happens. I mean, in a family, we’re going to have conflict.
And in today’s world, so many people are taught, well, it’s just toxic. if you, you don’t have to, and the kids today, I was a teacher in high school and they didn’t know how to resolve conflict because everything was done on a keyboard, right? And so in person, it was just a whole lot different. so let’s talk about that. Why is conflict such a threat to families, especially leaving a godly legacy?
Bill High (09:10)
Yeah, so if you’re talking about first this idea of family is a team, it’s just it’s a lot easier to be an individual, right? You can stand on your own. But if you’re going to be a team. So if you got the camera, people can see this is that we got these fingers that are touching each other and there’s friction. And so it’s just if you’re going to live in community, you’re going to have friction. It’s just the nature. We’re all fallen individuals.
And so the biggest fundamental problem that people have is that when they hear that word conflict they think, man, I’ve got to run from it because they view conflict as something very negative. But what we start the curriculum out is, we really ask the question: what’s the purpose of conflict? Why does God actually give us conflict? And throughout the scriptures you see ongoing conflict ultimately that can only be resolved in Christ.
And that’s what we really say is that when we handle conflict well, when we model biblical conflict resolution, in particular, we model the gospel. And that’s the power of it, is that when you as a family really model good conflict resolution,
Candace Nassar (10:05)
Mm.
Bill High (10:22)
you’re reflecting the gospel, and then what happens is people look at you and say, Candace, wow, your family’s so weird, and you do these things so differently, and you ask for forgiveness, and you didn’t just sweep it under the rug. And so that’s the first big fundamental point is to recognize the power and the virtue of conflict. God gives it to us as a way to point people to himself.
Candace Nassar (10:37)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (10:46)
and to refine us, obviously, right? I mean, it’s that whole sandpaper concept of when you’re in a marriage or even kids in with each other, kids with parents, there is going to be conflict. and I am, I came from a home where conflict was overdone. So, you know, didn’t necessarily want to follow that, but we don’t want to bury it under the rug either, because when we have those feelings and we bury them, that’s when we really can get into trouble too. So,
What are some biblical principles families can use to navigate conflict well?
Bill High (11:18)
So one of the first things that we talk about is that it’s just good to identify what your conflict styles are. And in the business world, actually, they will name conflict styles, but they’re also reflected in the scriptures. So the number one conflict style that you’ve referenced is avoidance. And who’s the king of conflict avoidance in the scriptures? It’s actually King David. Because you see that with his sons in particular that
Candace Nassar (11:36)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (11:45)
Huh?
Bill High (11:47)
He just didn’t do anything. They’re trying to steal the kingdom from him. They’re having disputes and he just does not do anything. And avoidance ultimately threatens his entire kingdom because eventually there will be an eruption. But a second conflict style is more of an accommodating style and that is a you win and I lose kind of style. And we see that by the way in Abraham because
Candace Nassar (11:56)
Good point.
Bill High (12:16)
When it came time to divide the land, he accommodated Lot and said, Lot, you take the good land and I’ll take the land that’s worse. And that’s an accommodating style. Now the results of that one ultimately didn’t prove to be good for Lot himself. And there’s five conflict styles. We don’t have time to go through all of them, but the hardest style is what they call the collaborating style. And the collaborating style says, we all win.
It’s a win-win kind of style. We see that in the early church when the church had to come together and say, how are we going to get all this work done? How are we going make sure that people are fed? Well, that took a lot of time and ultimately a group resolution so the group could go forward. So if you identify your style, and some people have certain general styles. Some people are loud. Some people are quiet. Some people want to retreat.
Candace Nassar (13:05)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (13:05)
But it’s recognizing all the styles in the room is one of the first places that you can really begin.
Candace Nassar (13:14)
Yeah, just owning what you kind of your go-to is and maybe it’s not always effective and so just putting that out and I can see having great family conversations around the dinner table about this is your style and this is my style and we need to grow here and just really the parents modeling that we’re learning and growing and we want you to learn and grow I think that would be huge. So I’m sure you would agree.
Bill High (13:38)
Yeah, and you just referenced one of the actually really powerful things is we say that the most powerful thing that a family can do, if you want to ensure generational success, so you’ve got grandkids now, but if you’re thinking, hey, great grandkids, if I want them to continue on with the same set of values that reflects the person and the character of Christ, one of the most powerful things that you can do is have a regular family meeting.
Candace Nassar (13:50)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (14:03)
And that regular family meeting reflects the idea of Sabbath. Let’s pull back, let’s remember, reflect on what God has done for us. But as part of that family meeting agenda, let’s also put on their conflict. Let’s put on, there issues that we need to talk about? Did I stub my toe? Did I say something that hurt somebody? Or are there things that we’re just confused about?
That’s actually one of the things that I see as one of the biggest things that I do in the work with families is sometimes they’re just confusion. We just didn’t talk about it. You and your husband had to make a decision on the spur of the moment, or maybe in the past, you had to make a decision about schooling or which church you were going to, and it just never got talked about. And so sometimes just put it back on the table and say, hey, by the way, anybody got any questions about that? Let’s just talk about why we did this.
Candace Nassar (14:45)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (14:53)
And it’s just really healing to be able to do that. I’ve just seen it as one of the most effective things in working inside of families.
Candace Nassar (14:53)
love that
Candace Nassar (15:00)
I mean, it’s just communication in a lot of ways, right? Just learning to communicate in a godly way and allowing Christ to be the example of that. So you started sharing some practical tools like the family meeting. Are there other tools in your curriculum that families could start practicing today?
Bill High (15:18)
yeah, one of the simple ones is to develop a conflict code, or we say it’s the code of conduct. And if you think about it, it’s this idea of what are the rules of behavior that your family will have around particular pieces of conflict. So typically we see families have five to 12 rules that reflect the scriptures.
So it would be, sometimes it’s the idea, hey, we’re gonna go have a courageous conversation. We’re committed to that idea. It’s the idea that if there’s an offense, we’re gonna go. We’re not gonna let the sun go down on our anger. We’re not gonna gossip. It’s the commitment to communicate. For your benefit, by the way, my wife and I, put all this together. This is our family vision, mission, and values. And our very short, we have a shortened version of the code of conduct that we started our marriage with.
Candace Nassar (16:02)
Yes.
Bill High (16:09)
So we had three rules and the idea was, we’re gonna communicate, we’re gonna deal with the hurts and we’re committed to restoration. So that meant at times, sometimes she would bring it up to me, hey, you committed to these things. But we’ll often, by the way, have families develop those five to 12 rules and they’ll sign it. They’ll sign it and say, I’m committed to this and this is how I’m going to live. But this is the conflict code.
Candace Nassar (16:31)
So good.
Bill High (16:36)
gives you then the second step which is the idea of do you have a common process of restoration. So the code is one thing but the second step of it then is having everybody have a defined process. And what I mean by that is that most conflict I would say is spontaneous.
Candace Nassar (16:45)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (17:01)
It’s you say something and I get mad and say, boy, I don’t like that. And then you say, well, you’re a dummy. And I’m like, no, you’re a bigger dummy. And it just goes back and forth. And what we want to do is we actually want to turn those apparently spontaneous conversations or conflicts into planned conflict. The planned conflict is actually the process.
So typically one of the first things we say that’s really helpful for a process is to have a trigger question. And I don’t know if you’ve used this before, Candace, or not, but the idea of a trigger question is simply that I may start off the conversation by saying, Candace, do you have time to talk? And just that little question, the emphasis on, do you have time to talk now means that, know, okay, this is going to be a conflict.
Candace Nassar (17:35)
Mm-mm.
Bill High (17:53)
conversation. And when you have the trigger question, what it does is it transforms your role from being a competitor or somebody that’s going to listen to respond to listening to understand. So that frames the conversation and means that you’re going to ask more questions than you are in responding. Does that make sense so far?
Candace Nassar (18:09)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (18:18)
Yeah. Yes, it does. I think listening to understand is huge. And, and something that I’ve learned even this late in the game is that sometimes I respond, all the way to anger when it’s really another emotion that’s buried underneath that. And so learning to stop and not do that, but to get to that point where I can say, can you, do you have time to talk? Can I share how that made me feel?
something like that, I can see that being really beneficial.
Bill High (18:45)
Yeah, and that and just how you did it that way where you say, hey, do you have time to talk? And I’d like to explain how I feel when you do that. That means there’s a couple three clarifying questions that I’m asking you. was like, OK, Candace, why don’t you talk? Then the second step oftentimes is to mirror back what you just said. So if you said, hey, you really hurt my feelings when you said X, if I mirror back and said
So I hurt your feelings when I said X. And then the clarifying question is, did I get that right? And I don’t know if you’ve heard the statistic, but if I mirror back part of that conversation, it increases comprehension by 80 some percent. It’s an incredible amount because now you know that I’m actually listening to you. And then when I asked that clarifying question, did I get that right?
Candace Nassar (19:17)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (19:38)
you can say, yes, you got it right. now, now sometimes, you know, I’ve done this enough that sometimes somebody says, no, you did not get that right. Now that might not be with that same humorous tone, but, but then I, they, can repeat it. And it’s like, okay, so what you’re saying is, now what you got to be careful is you don’t want to interpret. You want a mirror. And there’s a big difference. You know how that is. So it’s like, so what I hear you saying is versus you said.
Candace Nassar (19:59)
Right. Yes.
Candace Nassar (20:06)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (20:07)
Did I get that right? And then the next question is, is there more? Is there more that you’d like to say? And that allows me to get to that whole place where it says, man, you just stepped on my emotions in a big way and it made me angry because it hurt me deeply. Then once you do that, you can actually move to restoration. Candice, I’m sorry that I said X.
Candace Nassar (20:13)
Mm.
Candace Nassar (20:24)
Mm-hmm.
Bill High (20:32)
Will you forgive me?
Candace Nassar (20:33)
Yep. Beautiful. That’s exactly right. I love it. Something you mentioned earlier, I love so much is the mission, vision and values. have, I’m a master’s in business. And so a lot of what, even in our curriculum, we talk about the families developing those because it gives you a framework to work with them. So if you start with those, just like a business and yeah, and it doesn’t mean they might not change over time, right?
But even when you have little kids, you can have those to frame everything that you’re doing in your family, the decisions you make and the conflict. And then you have these types of tools and I can just see so much healthy team playing going on, which is what we’re after, right?
Bill High (22:15)
No question. And because you have so many moms and certainly single moms, just the idea of that practice of writing this down and displaying this in the home is a Deuteronomy six kind of principle. The idea is let these things be on your heart, talk about them when you’re walking, by the way, lying down, rising up, et cetera, and then post them on the door plates of your home. We’ve seen young families, even the single moms, they
Candace Nassar (21:39)
Yes.
Bill High (21:44)
get this division mission values written down. They get a code of conduct written down. And then when something comes up, they can point whether it’s at the dinner table or on the wall and they can say, you know, I don’t really think that’s living out our values. Can we talk about that? And it’s powerful. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (21:58)
Mm. Mm. So good. So powerful. So powerful. Okay. Great, great stuff. I want to talk a little bit. You mentioned that theology of place, this idea that, we are meant to belong and be rooted. And I think you’ve kind of alluded to that, but let’s clarify how does being connected to community strengthen our family’s faith and legacy.
Bill High (22:20)
Yeah, there’s a there’s a really some great discussions around this idea of the theology of place. And it’s really this idea of belonging and becoming. And if you go all the way back to Abraham, you go back to this idea that God was going to give Abraham land, a place, people, community, and then as a result, blessing. Because if they would perpetuate that set of values,
then they could continue to expand geographically, land-wise. And so one of the things too that I will often say to families that are in this, fighting this worldview of this hyper-individualist state that we’re in is to say that geography really does matter, proximity matters. It’s so important to be together. Now, if you have a kid who has called to the mission field, go for it.
Candace Nassar (23:08)
Hmm.
Bill High (23:14)
You know, you gotta obey God’s call. Or if you have a kid who’s called to be a NASA space engineer, well, maybe he should be in Huntsville, Alabama, or in Florida, Cape Canterville, and those kind of places. But it’s powerful when families stick together because they can work together as a team to continue to advance God’s kingdom together.
Candace Nassar (23:36)
Absolutely. I mean, my son and his wife and daughter live here locally and I see them fairly often and she’s a very tiny baby, but I can already see that that bonding that takes place from just that, you know, that continual interaction. I can see how important that’s going to be. And, and I did not have that and my kids did not have that. We lived far from their grandparents and they didn’t have those kinds of relationships. And I think that’s a big issue in our society today.
Bill High (24:04)
This hyper individualistic culture tends to say spread your wings and fly. Just go out, go wherever. Follow your dreams, follow your heart. And the actual proverb says that you should give your children roots and wings. They need to always have this sense of place and belonging. There’s a teacher, Brad Gray, says geography holds the memory.
Candace Nassar (24:04)
and
Bill High (24:29)
And so the idea there is that some of the most critical moments in your life have been tied to a place, whether it’s the time you got married, a moment of loss, being at a funeral, some of those kind of things. But it’s that idea. And so when we recognize that there’s value in place and being together, we stick together a little better.
Candace Nassar (24:49)
I love that. think that’s really beautiful. that’s, mean, we’re, we find one of our big things is we talk about the statistics of moms today being overwhelmed and not feeling supported. And I mean, they’re, really dramatic. Like 44 % feel overwhelmed. 63 % don’t feel deeply cared for. And I do think that that is a big part of it is just the, all the, uh, it’s a, it’s a lie, right?
that if you go out and you make your way, you’re going to be happy. But then it doesn’t pay off because like you’re saying, scripture is, I love that it’s more communal and family, that whole concept that you’re talking about, the geography. So thanks for sharing that.
Candace Nassar (25:27)
So can you share a story of a family who found restoration through biblical conflict resolution or through re-rooting themselves in Christ’s vision for legacy?
Bill High (25:37)
Yeah, so one of my favorite stories actually, it’s a young family who when they first came and started, we have, this course is available, a small group material. And so they’re actually part of our beta group.
And at the time they joined our beta group, they weren’t actually even engaged but during the course of the small group they got engaged and then ultimately they got married They’re now expecting their first child and so they did they completed their family vision mission and values and a code of conduct and they have a conflict restoration policy and So now they they’ll tell us they’ve they’re great examples there are times when they’re like hey How are we doing living out that value of generosity?.
That’s not being too generous. And they make decisions based upon it. And so just by having the rules of the game written and put on the wall of their home in a couple different places, it gives them that place in their family meeting where they can say, how are we doing? So that’s one classic example.
Now I also do some consulting work, Candice. And so sometimes I get to go into families where there is very deep historical conflict. Sometimes it’s just points of confusion. And I’ve seen it where just by putting some of those issues on the table as a regular item of discussion, those families walk away and they say, wow, that was the best meeting we’ve ever had. Just because they talked about stuff that just needed to be talked about.
Candace Nassar (27:10)
And it was a place, safe, it was set up as a safe place. And so they felt they could do that. And then like you’re saying, be heard with those clarifying questions.
Bill High (27:20)
They had a code of conduct and they had a process. And so they knew that they were going into a conflict conversation. Everybody got to say their piece. Now it’s always good if you, because by having that code that you’ll be able to recognize, if somebody’s being quiet, we need to make sure, we need to ask them that question. Is there anything more? Is there anything more? And then, hey, are we finished with that conversation? Are we done? Is anybody else like to say anything else?
Candace Nassar (27:21)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (27:39)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (27:46)
Yeah. You know, we talk all the time and in our MomQ curriculum and other areas where we’re trying to minister to families about being intentional. And that’s really what this is. It’s an intentional process. Everything you’re talking about is an intentional process to be a family that honors Christ and really grows the kingdom of God, ultimately.
Bill High (28:09)
That’s it. That’s it. Well, actually next week we’re getting ready to film our next small group curriculum and it’s all about building family culture. And we say that you need to have a culture roadmap or the rhythms of family and that those rhythms are weekly, daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally. And if you have that roadmap, it just gives you the intentionality around family that creates some of that culture.
One of the things that we were very committed to as a for instance is the idea of family vacation. We’ve been going to the same place for 36 years. Same routine, rhythm, and now my grandkids are going. And so they’re doing some of the same hikes, some of the same places. And by the time, you know, we’re gone and they’re…
they’ll have been going to the same place for 70 plus years.
Candace Nassar (29:01)
That’s so great. I can’t, I just love that. I can’t even imagine. I hope that my grandkids will do that as well. Some of the things that we’re starting. So what encouragement as we close, what encouragement would you give to the mom who feels caught in the middle between kids, extended family, even in-laws there, there can be a lot of conflict there too. And sometimes that’s a harder situation to resolve. So what would you say to that mom?
Bill High (29:26)
Yeah, the first thing that we typically say is three phrases. And the three phrases first is to say, it’s okay, it’s all right. Even if it’s messy and all that kind of stuff, just say, it’s okay. This is what I have. That’s the it’s okay phrase. And then to say, I don’t fully understand it. I don’t know all the things that are going on. I don’t know things that are going on with that family or…
Candace Nassar (29:47)
Hmm.
Bill High (29:52)
the past family history, all the things that have brought us here today. And then the last phrase is to say, but I still believe. I believe that God’s gonna do something good here. And then take and operate under the permission that you have available to you. And that’s usually with your own spouse and your kids and set the trajectory in your own family.
Because it’s in setting that trajectory in your own family that you create the attractiveness, that sweet aroma of Christ that causes others to say, hey, what’s so different about you? And then as you set that trajectory, just understand that sometimes the way God works is, it may take 20, 30 years or more, it may take into the next generation.
The conflict, by the way, between Joseph and Judah, his brothers in the Bible, it was about a 20-year feud that took place. And I think we forget that that was a conflict of family, not just a dislike of Joseph. But when the family comes together, everybody goes, ha, this is good. And we’ve got to be the long-suffering people to say, I believe that God is a generational God and thinks and plans and generations.
Candace Nassar (30:47)
Wow, yeah.
Candace Nassar (30:54)
That’s so true.
Bill High (31:09)
and I’m going to be faithful in this moment. And by being faithful in this moment, I can set the trajectory for future generations to come. And we just have no idea what God will do with your faithfulness today.
Candace Nassar (31:22)
of that. And prayer, obviously, lots of prayer and prayer for godly responses and learning your own. I love if we’re practicing healthy conflict resolution in our homes and with our husbands and children on a regular basis that we can be better when we’re in those situations with in-laws or extended family. I can see that that would really help and maybe even speaking into their situation. So it’s
Bill High (31:48)
Yeah, no question. think the simplest thing, by the way, in terms of being with those larger family dynamics is just humble yourself. Lower yourself literally. I say physically lower yourself and lower your voice. And if you’re the calm one, because you trust in the sovereignty of God to let him write the divine narrative, he’ll bring good out of it.
Candace Nassar (32:13)
Love it. So good. Well, this has been a great conversation, Bill, and I’ve taken some stuff out of it and I’m sure our listeners have as well. I know we’re going to put all of your materials in our show notes for those who want to find out more about your, I know you have legacy stone and then you have the family conflict curriculum for small groups and for churches. So we’ll put all that in our notes. Is there anything else that you would like to share with our listeners as we close?
Bill High (32:41)
Yeah, thank you. We have a new book coming out with David Green, the founder of Hobby Lobby. It releases on October 14th and it has some of these principles. It’s called The Legacy Life, Leading Your Family to Make a Difference for Eternity. So that’s a fun one that’s coming out, I think, be extremely helpful for your listeners as they think about this big idea.
Candace Nassar (33:03)
Well, thank you for what you’ve done for hearing the call of God and stepping into that and developing this fantastic curriculum. I can see that it really is impactful. So thanks for coming on today, Bill. God bless.
Bill High (33:15)
Thank you so much. Take care.