A few evenings ago, I brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas, climbed into bed, and tried to sleep. My eyes were closed, but I struggled to relax. Unwanted thoughts about one of our children’s behaviors blinked on and off in my head like a neon sign flashing in a restaurant window. I tried unsuccessfully to pull the plug on these thoughts, but I couldn’t. I knew what I should do – trust God and go to sleep, but my thoughts refused to cooperate. What could we do to help this child? Was there something we should have done differently in the past? How did we even get here?
I knew then and believe now that God is in control, but my mind frantically searched for a way to shift the momentum of our child’s behavior to a more positive direction before it got worse. I wanted to fix this, but I couldn’t, and now I wasn’t sleeping.
Sometimes parenting feels hard, and sometimes, parenting is hard! How can we reflect God’s heart to our children when their behavior spirals out of our control or pushes us beyond our limits?
My children are out of the house now, and I struggle with this question even more than I did when they ate our food, slept under our roof, and depended on us for their daily provisions and support.
Like everything else, our best behavior occurs when we are rested, satiated, physically comfortable, and emotionally stable. In other words, most of us are more likely to display Jesus to others when our lives run smoothly and we feel in control. Raising children drops us into an environment opposite that. It stretches us to our limits both physically and emotionally.
Young children bring with them sleepless nights, tantrum-filled days, and a complete lack of understanding regarding schedules, deadlines and responsibilities. They try our patience and our energy even as their innocence and honesty captivate us. Older children stretch us intellectually. It’s harder to fix their friendship problems, more challenging to help them academically, and more puzzling to discern what’s driving their behavior. Parenting is a high calling. It’s extremely rewarding, but also very challenging, and it glaringly points out our limitations. We aren’t omnipotent and the idea that we are in control is an illusion.
It’s hard to admit that. Right? We are wired to sacrificially care for our children, but it was never God’s intention that we parent them alone. He wants to partner with us. Perhaps that’s one reason why He made the job so challenging.
If we want to display God’s heart to our children, we need to trust God before we exhaust our own resources. This means trusting Him physically when our babies refuse to sleep as well as confidently believing that God will guide us when our teens fill us with uncertainty and indecision.
Most of the time, we don’t call on God until we’ve tried everything and are on our last bit of sanity. When we are exhausted from sleepless nights, stretched thin with uncooperative toddlers, or worn down with indecision from another conversation with our teenager, THEN we ask for help.
What if we asked for help and trusted God to provide from the moment that we opened our eyes in the morning? Imagine the joy we would feel if we KNEW God would come to the rescue when we raised a flag and admitted our need for help. If, for example, God allowed us to sleep through the night while he tended to the crying baby. Or if he took a turn soothing the toddler with a tantrum, telling us, “I’ll handle this one.” Or if he gave us perfect direction when we felt paralyzed with indecision over handling our teen’s concerning behavior. If we knew with 100% certainty that God would give us what we want in the time frame we want it, wouldn’t we call on him all the time?
Zechariah 4:6 says, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.” God knows our strength and power are limited, and He wants to help us remember that His Spirit is unlimited. We can do anything with His help, including displaying Godly character even when parenting is hard, not on our own strength, but through His. When we wait until the last minute to ask Him for help, we need a genie to give us an instantaneous fix. If we develop a pattern of trusting God, even when things are going smoothly, we develop our faith so that wearily but confidently trust Him when parenting is hard. We can believe He will somehow provide, and our conviction shines that belief to our children.
Here are three things we can do to practice trusting God before we are worn out:
Create a habit of asking God to direct your day before you get out of bed. Trust Him even if it doesn’t seem possible for Him to provide.
Track your prayer requests. When God responds, jot down His response and date it.
Prioritize time in God’s word and ask yourself where you see God in the passage. What do you notice about his character? How does that apply to you and your situation? Learning to know God through His word strengthens our faith and emboldens our confidence in Him when we need it.
When we call on Him, He answers us (Jeremiah 33:3) in His timing and in His perfect way. The more we trust Him with a little, the more we trust Him with a lot, and the deeper our relationship grows with Him. Then we display His character to our children, even when parenting is hard.
About momQ
momQ is a nonprofit ministry that equips and encourages moms to follow God’s design for families through mentor-led small groups, biblical teaching, and intentional community. We believe motherhood is a powerful place of discipleship, and that God uses everyday rhythms to shape hearts for His Kingdom.
If you’re looking for support, encouragement, and practical tools as you seek to disciple your children and grow in your own faith, we invite you to learn more about momQ and connect with a community of moms walking this journey together.
