My toddler gives the biggest hugs I have ever received. He hugs with his whole body. “You melt mommy,” I tell him as he wraps his little arms around my shoulders. I can hardly contain my joy because there is something about those heart-to-heart hugs that makes me feel warm and whole inside. Like I was created for this very moment, and for moments like these.
It is often in those precious and fleeting moments that I feel glimpses of God’s love for me. His love is that good, after all. And, His love is that good, every time.
In addition to the hugs, my son can scream louder than any human I have ever met. It is the kind of shrill that sets my nervous system into a tailspin. Let’s agree that escorting a shrieking toddler out from a public place is not cute, and it does not feel like winning in the moment.
Moments like these can leave me feeling exhausted and puzzled, tempted to cave to his demands or else scream “Stop it, just stop it already”—anything to get the noise to stop. Strong-arming a toddler out of a tantrum doesn’t work though. Patience and gentleness and persistent guidance, on the other hand, can help ease the storm.
I know this in theory, and yet, patience doesn’t always come easily—not with my son, my husband, or myself.
In the face of meltdowns, disappointments, and the like, it can be easy to go into control mode, trying to maintain the peace at all costs or to try and fix it and make it all better.
The good news is that we do not have to navigate challenges or hardships alone. Resources, including one another, can help guide us through the highs and lows. As believers in Christ, we also have access to God’s word and power. We can go straight to the Lord and trust that He hears us.
Ask God for help.
Over and over again in the Psalms, David calls the Lord his helper. In faith, he seeks God’s help in navigating the stressors and uncertainties of life. As believers, we can do the same.
If you’re like me, asking for help is easier said than done. After all, we live in a culture that values independence. If we put enough time, energy, and work into it, we can figure out almost anything on our own. Or so we think. As someone who was taught to be self-reliant at a young age, asking for help can be uncomfortable and even off-putting.
David, on the other hand, unashamedly asks for help:
“Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.”
Psalm 86:1
Can we, too, be brave enough and bold enough to ask for God’s help?
- Help in holding our tongues when we want to defend our pride against our husbands.
- Help in removing ourselves when we need to calm down, regroup, and go at it again fresh with our kiddos.
It is a beautiful thing that when we call on God with open hearts and willing spirits, He takes the reigns, shepherding us from right where we are.
Wait expectantly for His help.
As Christians, we can assume that God has a purpose for the challenges we are currently encountering. Though we can’t always see it, we can trust that He is somehow, in His own way and His own timing, working these things for our good.
In waiting expectantly for God’s help, we can believe and claim the promise in Romans 8:28:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:28
Instead of feeling discouraged when we don’t get an answer right away, or when something like temper tantrums persist way longer and louder than we hoped they would, we can trust that God is still at work, still on His throne. He hears us and cares for us personally.
Even when His response feels like silence, we can choose to believe that He is working for our ultimate good and for His ultimate purpose. We may never get the results we desire or pray for. We can, however, trust and even expect that God is using the circumstances in our lives and in our kids’ lives for our good and for His glory.
Questions that can help us reflect on God as helper:
How is God helping me through this circumstance or season?
What purposes might this circumstance be serving in my life?
What valuable lessons is God trying to show me or teach me through this?
How can I call on God to help me in the midst of this challenge?
What if, instead of trying to fix my circumstances or control the people in my life, I boldly asked for the Spirit’s guidance in navigating these challenges?
How can I trust that His plan is good, even when it doesn’t feel like it?
What can I learn about my child, myself, my God through this?
Choose Gratitude.
Tonight, my son splattered salsa all over the side of the couch like it was his personal canvas. It was an accident, and yet, as the bowl dropped from the table, slow motion style, and the inevitable happened, salsa everywhere, the word “noooooo” was the first and pretty much only word that came from my mouth.
I sat there, too tired and stunned to move. It had been a day of messes—crayons, playdough, diaper after diaper, and now, salsa? On the couch?
My husband, who had not been tasked with chasing a toddler around all day, jumped into action to clean up the mess. Later, he reminded me that mistake-making is okay. It is normal to make a mess from time to time. It doesn’t make us less than, or unacceptable. After all, we all make messes sometimes.
What a beautiful reminder: I will make mistake. My son will make mistakes. But we are not our mistakes.
The truth is: We have a Mighty Helper who has entrusted us with a mighty calling. The mundane and frustrating moments of motherhood—dishes, dirty clothes, the occasional salsa-splattered coach—don’t always feel glorious, and they don’t always look like gifts. We can, however, learn to see our challenges as growing tools, opportunities to practice and model patience and self-control. And, we can choose to meditate on the truth that we serve a Mighty God who created us and called us by name.
In His grip, we are secure. Now, that’s a gift!
Guilt and shame. Both are emotions that cause intense reactions. But, we can’t let them rule our lives. Listen to this Spotify podcast, “What To Do When I Mess Up”, to examine the difference between the two and gain practical insight on having victory over them.
At MomQ we believe that motherhood is a calling from God. While it is both a privilege and an honor, it is by no means easy! Moms have a lot of questions/concerns and need caring support along their journey. Whether you are a brand new mom or a little more seasoned, MomQ is here to help you fulfill your God given role. Don’t see a group in your area? Contact us today about starting one in your community!
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