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We live in a self-centered and self-absorbed world.
The Toby Keith song, “I Wanna Talk About Me,” from 2001, (RIP Toby Keith), says it well—
“I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one, oh my, me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see . . .”
And of course, his song was meant to be funny. But in real life, many of us are so focused on ourselves that we miss the second great commandment. We miss the joy of caring about and serving others—including our own families—husbands, children, extended family—because we are consumed with our goals, our wants, our needs. Some are more concerned with every duty being divvied up equally. They are upset if they must give more than their “fair share” of time or effort. But what does God say we are to do?
The Second Great Commandment
“And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’”
-Matthew 22:37-40
Love your neighbor as yourself. As yourself. We are good at that. If we’re cold, we get warm. If we’re hungry, we eat. If we’re tired, we rest. And we’re pretty good at recognizing those needs in our children. After all, they don’t hesitate to tell us when they aren’t perfectly content. That old squeaky wheel you know . . . And maybe some of our husbands get a little squeaky, too, from time to time.
Loving Our Neighbors Under Our Roof
Do we find it easier to give sacrificially to strangers than we do to our own household? Sure, we give. All. The. Time. But are we serving with love and humility in obedience to God? Is the work done with a grudging spirit? Or has bitterness taken root? Loving the neighbor under our roof can sometimes be the hardest because there is no break from it. And many times, we feel overwhelmed, overlooked, and underappreciated. And the truth is, that’s life. Because we aren’t the only ones thinking about ourselves. It’s every person’s battle. As Christians, we must die to ourselves daily and win that war.
Denying Ourselves to Follow Jesus
“And He said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
-Luke 9:23
Do we keep a tally? A score sheet? A “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” mentality. That’s normal. Human. But the Lord has saved us, made us new creations, and given us the Holy Spirit to help us put to death those fleshly tendencies. That “me, I, my” attitude. God wants us to follow the example Jesus set for us.
The Humility of Christ
“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though, He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
-Philippians 2:5-8
What does loving service look like in our familial relationships? Is it only about taking care of basic needs? Or is it just cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so on?
Loving Service Beyond Basic Needs
No. Look deeper. Listen. As attested to on Facebook, some people share every thought, struggle, and trial openly, but most of us don’t. Most tend to keep those burdens hidden inside or share with the most trusted confidant alone. And not everyone has someone they trust enough. But as wives and mothers we can build that trust and be the safe place for our spouses and children to find a loving, compassionate friend. There are more ways we can lovingly serve our families and others than simply meeting the obvious, basic requirements for life.
Jesus Addressing the Hidden Issue
Here is an example of Jesus seeing past the obvious to the hidden issue:
“And behold, some people brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, ‘Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.’”
-Matthew 9:2
Yes, Jesus healed the man, but first He addressed the most important problem. Forgiveness. A dilemma with eternal repercussions.
Addressing More Than the Physical
What are the real issues we are overlooking? Is there a matter more pressing than sweeping the floor? It’s time to show a true, loving, servant’s heart like Jesus and focus on more than the physical. The emotional and spiritual longings of the hearts and souls of those we love are crying out for someone to care. And so is every other soul we meet.
Prioritizing People Over Our Own Comfort
God the Father saw our need for a Savior and sent His Son, Jesus, to save us from our sins. Before He died (and rose again), He modeled serving others. He left the majesty of Heaven to come to this dirty, hot/cold, sinful, dying world and He served humanity until they murdered Him. Near the very end when He was hanging on the cross, suffering, who was He thinking about?
His mother. His murderers. The Father—with concern and compassion for them. Not Himself.
Seeing Beyond the Obvious
Can we look away from our games, our TVs, our phones, our books (ouch), our dishes, our laundry . . . long enough to really see those around us? To see more than what they share out loud? Their hurt. Their pain. Their doubts. Their fears. And their joys, hopes, and dreams? Can we lovingly serve them better if we notice the issues bigger than clean socks or no clean socks? Am I giving permission to stop doing laundry? If I could I would, but no. Sorry. What I’m saying is that we must prioritize. Let’s be like Jesus, see through the obvious, and notice the most important.
Loving Others in Our Families and Beyond
What about us? We trust God to meet our needs while we learn to look, listen, and pay attention to the little one tugging on our pant legs. The tired husband who had a bad day. A teenage son or daughter who isn’t telling us about the cyberbully or their feelings of inadequacy. The sick neighbor. The homeless woman. The widow. The orphan. Fill in the blank. Everyone, big, little, and in between has troubles. Seen and unseen. And sometimes we can do something for them. And sometimes we may have to get out of our own heads to do it. Or forego our comfort or plans or entertainment. However, there is joy found in serving others—even those closest to us. It’s the loving thing to do. It’s the Christlike way to live.
Serving with a Heart of Gratitude
“Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you.”
-1 Samuel 12:24
“The me-centered life is one of focusing on self-satisfaction and approval, while the gospel-centered life is one of joyfully serving others as a way to serve Christ.” If you are looking for more on how to live out love and grace like Jesus, join Candace Nassar, MomQ founder/teacher, and Annie Mendrala, MomQ teacher, as they discuss the core of the gospel message—love and grace—and explore what it means to live it out.
Click here
At MomQ we believe that motherhood is a calling from God. While it is both a privilege and an honor, it is by no means easy! Moms have a lot of questions/concerns and need caring support along their journey. Whether you are a brand new mom or a little more seasoned, MomQ is here to help you fulfill your God given role. Don’t see a group in your area? Contact us today about starting one in your community!
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