Candace Nassar (00:00.675)
Well, welcome Monica. It is so great to have you on the show today. I am really looking forward to this conversation. So why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?
Monica Zerwas (00:11.906)
Yes, thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here today. My name is Monica Zerwas. I am a mama to four girls. Right now they are three, five, seven, nine. And we’re like in that season where it’s easy to say and then it changes.
Candace Nassar (00:24.025)
boy.
Monica Zerwas (00:28.81)
My husband is Brandon. We’ve been married going on 13 years and we both homeschool our girls in the mornings together and we have every meal together around the table and then we are also a husband and wife real estate group and so we buy and sell houses at night and on the weekends and raise our babies during the day together.
Yeah, I’m really passionate about the topics that we’re covering today and just excited to dive in.
Candace Nassar (01:00.697)
That’s great. So four girls. Were you hoping for a boy at some point? Or did you just, at the end, you’re like, just give me another girl.
Monica Zerwas (01:08.75)
Oh my gosh, at the beginning I thought I was gonna have- I knew I was gonna have three boys and a baby girl. Yeah, when I had a girl first, I was totally taken back. And then it was so fun. And then when we had the second, we wanted all girls. You have it kind of figured out to whatever degree it means. And yeah, we loved it. And my husband is the ultimate girl dad, he was made for it. And so it’s just sweet.
Candace Nassar (01:15.548)
Candace Nassar (01:29.258)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Monica Zerwas (01:38.754)
And so it’s just sweet to have this little girl gang running around.
Candace Nassar (01:40.889)
That is so precious, I love that. Now, were you raised a Christian, Monica?
Monica Zerwas (01:42.701)
Yeah.
Monica Zerwas (01:46.862)
I was raised in a home where my dad was Catholic, my mom was Southern Baptist. I don’t even think we had a Bible in our home. It was more so, you go to church because mom and dad were taking you. My dad went to Catholic church, my mom never came. And so we were raised in that. So it was more to do the right thing, moralistic deism.
So it wasn’t until I met my husband. He was raised in the Church of Christ, I was raised Catholic, and a lot of legalism, a lot of rules, and I’m a type A rule follower perfectionist, like that’s my fight or bend. And yeah, so it took us dating and just finding that together and realizing, wait, there’s more to this, there’s a relationship. Yeah, so we really found a relationship with Christ together in our 20s.
Candace Nassar (02:46.415)
That’s beautiful. And then you felt called to homeschool, obviously, have you homeschooled the whole time?
Monica Zerwas (02:52.078)
We have, but that was not the plan. That is 100 % God. When I met my husband on our first date I asked him, “Are you okay with raising children and me being the breadwinner because I’m an independent woman and I’m gonna have a ladder to climb and goals to achieve and I wasn’t made to raise kids.” And so that was not always the plan. The Lord has turned everything on its head in the best way possible and It’s just part of our story that He has brought us along. But once we realized, yeah, I mean, it was toddlerhood that we were exposed to homeschooling and really started to get the nudge to go that direction.
Candace Nassar (03:26.989)
My goodness.
Candace Nassar (03:37.955)
You know, I can’t get over how similar our stories are. I actually was, I came out of the Catholic church. I shouldn’t say “came out of”, the Catholic church has some great things, but we also came to a personal relationship with Jesus. And through that process, I was working, had that same kind of independent mentality and God called me to homeschool. So, yeah, but I didn’t do it forever. I, at one point, just finally felt like the season had ended.
Monica Zerwas (03:58.509)
Wow.
Candace Nassar (04:08.066)
I know the gift that you’ve been given. So, I mean, actually that was one of the things I wanted to ask you about is just leaving the corporate world to be home with your girl. So what you’re telling me is that it was really just the Lord and He just changed you completely as you leaned into Him and walked in obedience. Right?
Monica Zerwas (04:26.976)
Yeah, it really was. I mean, my gosh, like I said, I was on the way to achieving, I had a master’s degree. I was president of this, awards. I did everything I was the achiever to get the job, to get the house, to chase the world. I mean, I was chasing success and chasing the world. I bought into that lie that we, I mean, we fight against so big now and our eyes are, just have been opened. And it was the Lord just being so delicate because if you would have shown up to me and been, “You’re gonna quit your job and you’re gonna homeschool your kids.” I would have been like, “You don’t know me. Like, what?”
Candace Nassar (04:50.421)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (05:05.613)
You’d be like, run away, I’m running away.
Monica Zerwas (05:07.188)
Yeah, exactly. And so He was so sweet and delicate. And it was just like onion layers just being slowly removed and our eyes slowly being open. And it really was when we started reading. I mean, I remember us buying our first Bibles together and reading these study Bibles as husband and wife and just diving in and we were so messy. I mean, our road before that and partying and so much sin and, it was just so sweet, like, “Wait, we shouldn’t be doing that.” I guess, and not in a legalistic way, but it’s not honoring like it’s living one foot in one foot out.
So, it was doing Bible studies for the first time in my life, doing book studies for the first time in my life, being introduced to these women ahead, Sally Clarkson, Ann Voskamp, like these women, their work and the road they paved were just opening my eyes. The church we belong to here, we started listening to this pastor in Austin, when we were living in Austin and we’re in Dallas now, and we listened to his teaching from afar and just sound biblical teaching. All of these things weave together.
Candace Nassar (05:54.306)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Zerwas (06:13.168)
And then we had our first baby, and it wasn’t even having her. Most people say you have your baby and you want to stay home and and I still didn’t want to stay home I was still ready to climb, but it was when we got her nanny and her nanny was one of our pastor’s wives, and she was the first woman I ever prayed with at the front of the church. We’d never done that before. My husband’s mom was battling brain cancer. And we went and prayed with her and…
Candace Nassar (06:42.927)
Mmm.
Monica Zerwas (06:45.92)
It was one of the most powerful moments for us. Later I was in her home doing a book study, one of Sally Clarkson’s books, and just learning from this woman. And she ended up being our girl’s nanny, Nanny Kate. And I remember thinking when she was like, “I want a nanny Tenley.” I was like, “Can you just raise her?” Because I think she’d be better off. She was just beautiful and incredible. But she was a homeschool mom. She homeschooled her three kids. And then she nannied mine. So we dropped off and
Candace Nassar (07:12.751)
Mm.
Monica Zerwas (07:15.854)
picked up to the homeschool family every day for a year. And we were just like, something’s different about them. There’s something unique. There’s something. We were just so attracted to this simple life, this slow life. Meanwhile, I’m idolizing busyness, my calendar, success, bonuses, money, the house. But I was really drawn to this. And so it was all of these things kind of coming together.
Yeah, and then us deciding over the stretch of time, we wrote down one day how many hours Nanny Kate had Tinley and how much time we had Tinley. Tinley was my first daughter. And it was almost even.
And we really, it was just such a gut punch of, a minute, we have this baby, and we just hand off the baby to work the job, to give her the house and the vacation and the toys, but I felt like I was losing her in the process. And so I’m handing over my baby to hold on to these things of the world. And there was a quote that I read and it said,-I spent my entire life climbing the ladder.
only to get to the top and find out it was leaned against the wrong dang wall-.
And I was like, I don’t want that. We can’t go back. And the last component, my husband was working in hospice and home health. He was dealing with death and dying every single day. People on their deathbeds, the last words, and they said over and over, he heard, “It goes by fast. I wish I would have had more kids and I wish I would have worked less.” And so we were, we had a choice. Do we listen to these people who’ve lived their life? They’re at the end.
Monica Zerwas (09:04.272)
And they have these wise words, because we’re all going to get there. We either do something about it, or we don’t. And there’s no way to make more time. It goes by fast. Everybody says it. So the way to make more time was just to slow time. And that was soaking up and just completely pivoting and living a different life and pursuing being at home.
Candace Nassar (09:27.213)
And you know that, I mean, it really is biblical; Jesus lived, I mean, he did a lot of things, a lot of ministry and affected a lot of lives, but he did it at a slower pace. He wasn’t, you know, rushing around. He was spending time with the Father. He was sitting at His feet, you know, doing all the things that he needed to do to fill his own cup, right, and be able to continue to pour out. And he took the time.
And that’s really what you’re talking about is being given back that time because we can’t disciple our kids effectively if we don’t have time with them. Now I know people say, “Well, it’s a luxury to be able to stay home.” And, there is some truth to that. I mean, there are people who don’t have, I guess, that choice in a sense, but really let’s just jump in now. Let’s talk about how we can make those changes in our life. It’s a shift of thinking and what we think we need and how we think we need to live has to shift, right? So tell us about that.
Monica Zerwas (10:38.094)
I can’t tell you the number of times people have said to me, “You’re so lucky. You’re so fortunate.” In a kind way and then in an unkind way. You’re telling your story and you’re projecting this on people who don’t have an opportunity to do that and there are some situations, like a single mom perhaps, who has to work. I understand that, and I’m not talking to her. I’m talking to, and my heart is to really challenge those listening, that you have this nudge inside of you and this desire inside of you and at the time I was making more income than my husband. We had just bought a house and it was a house on double income.
We just bought a car, I had $44,000 in student loans. My husband had credit card debt like we had, I mean we were living this life and that was why I felt totally stuck. I bought into it. We weren’t living above our means. were saving 401k. We were checking all the boxes, being very responsible. But I felt stuck.
Candace Nassar (11:46.959)
But you had committed yourself. You had committed yourself to a certain standard of living where you needed that double income.
Monica Zerwas (11:50.634)
Exactly.
So I just had to, and what I always say is we traded that all in. We sold the house. I mean it was right at a time where it was keeping up with my friends at my friend group, keeping up with the Joneses. That’s what we do as a society. I mean I traded in a life for a different kind of life and it took so much sacrifice I worked for a whole other year even when we decided this is gonna be our path to pay off the loans to just be wise. We again went, “Selling the house was the hardest thing for us.” We lost money when selling. It wasn’t a smart time to sell.
We then lived small to live big and that’s just the point of all of it. We go without a lot. I mean tiny things tiny luxuries that people just totally, just completely, take for granted. We don’t go on fun Target runs. We don’t buy coffee out and we don’t go and eat out all the time. There are things that I do spend money on and I do value the food we put in our bodies. That’s important. You know, just different things that I do spend my money on.
If I buy toys for the girls, it’s for a holiday. We don’t just buy things. We just don’t buy clothes. It’s such a counterculture way of living and you have to be okay with giving that up. But it’s not easy. But it’s also not easy to be stuck in a situation that you so badly went out of. So you just have to choose your heart and this one was just more fruitful.
Monica Zerwas (13:36.058)
And I know I can always go back and make money. And so we’ve been riding this entrepreneur wave for five years. There’s so much more to this story, layoffs, we sold the house we moved into, and we’ll kind of get into more of this, …
It’s sometimes we believe that when we listen to the Lord and when we follow and say “yes” that it’s gonna be an easy path And let me tell you, it has not been. It has been roadblock after roadblock, but we know the path we’re on is the right one. And so it is. It’s just like you said, it’s not buying into the lifestyle that the world says we are all to live. No, we live simple. We just live less.
Candace Nassar (14:19.503)
You know, I think of Luke 12:15, where Jesus says, “Watch out, be on your guard against all kinds of greed. Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” And that’s what you’re living out. You’re saying, “Okay, we don’t need this. Culture says, the more we have, the happier we’ll be. And you and your husband, through the Lord’s conviction, recognize the lie in that. And you know, we, as a society,
I just read, about a year ago, John Mark Comer’s book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, and in it he says, “shopping is now the number one leisure activity in America.” And when you think about that, that is something, we just take that as like, “Well, this is the way it’s supposed to be.” But it’s not making us happier. And so what you’re saying is, you traded that.
Yes, it means some hardships and it sounds like you probably fought some spiritual battles as well because you were trying to lean into that lifestyle and of course Satan doesn’t want that but you’re happier.
Monica Zerwas (15:28.686)
My gosh, that book is so good. And I think I’ve told you, I feel like we could have written it. Everything in that is us. It’s being happier. It’s learning to be content. And I think that’s the hardest thing on this side, you know, of our life, is being content, because there’s always going to be someone who has more, there’s always going to be someone who has less. And it’s modeling that for our children.
Candace Nassar (15:45.615)
That’s it! Yes!
Monica Zerwas (16:02.064)
It’s so easy to be a hypocritical mama and when your kids are at the store and you can’t have that, well, but I want it, but I want it. But then we go home and we just go shopping on Amazon and buy whatever we want. And when our husband is like, “Hey, what about the budget?” “No, I want it.” We don’t model it at all. But we’re trying to raise these kids to not be greedy, to be grateful, but we aren’t to be content. We aren’t, we see what our neighbor has and what Instagram friends have. And we want it.
Candace Nassar (16:19.982)
Mm.
Monica Zerwas (16:32.205)
We’re jealous. We are, our life isn’t enough. It is constantly, and like you said we are a broken, obviously a broken society, but we are an unhappy, unfulfilled society. We are chasing, we are in the comparison game, we are depressed, we are lonely, none of it’s satisfying us. And I tell my girls all the time, the only thing we can take to heaven with us are people. So invest in people, invest in relationship, let’s do life together, let’s spend our time and our money pouring into people.
Candace Nassar (16:53.167)
Mm-mm.
Candace Nassar (17:05.871)
It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful. the contentment thing, boy, does that just, you know, bells and whistles go off in my head because I had to learn that as well. I mean, that is a hard, hard lesson. And I have to say I fought materialism as a stronghold for many years. but to understand that we, you know, I think of Philippians 4:13, “ I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Paul was not talking about anything. He was talking about being content in all circumstances. And He gives us through His Holy Spirit. We can do that, but we have to lean in with all our heart and we have to lay that idol at His feet. Right?
Monica Zerwas (17:48.942)
Yeah and it’s like you said, it’s a constant battle.
For me, for us, I mean, my husband goes into Home Depot, right? “Oh, we need this plant, or we need, what if our yard, or we could spruce this.” One of my passions is design, decorating, making things beautiful, hosting, and interiors. That’s my art, that’s my outlet, my creativity, and I’m like, you kinda need money to do that, you need to spend to do that in so many ways, and so it’s been conflicting.
But that’s how God made me, to create beautiful things. But how do I do that to honor Him and do it wisely and steward money? Well, and to not. In my previous life, I remember, all the way back to the sixth grade, and that’s when my materialism started. Truly, it was Tommy Hillfiger days, Abercrombie days, Doc Martin days, and I was obsessed and bought in. I got a job so I could pay for it cuz my dad wasn’t going to. I mean it ran so deep.
Candace Nassar (18:45.379)
Mmm.
Monica Zerwas (18:55.216)
It truly was figuring this out and getting to this point of living a different life. I was buying a designer handbag every other month when I was working my corporate job. And I finally got to the point of listing them for sale. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want my girls to buy into it. I just don’t want it anymore and then and then maybe we’ll get into a little bit of this. But we were living in Houston and Hurricane Harvey came and this is just kind of part of the story of my materialism and being rid of it. We sold the house, we moved into a rental.
Candace Nassar (19:31.012)
Mmm.
Monica Zerwas (19:36.174)
And everything was in boxes. It was a month after moving in and Hurricane Harvey came and we were in Austin that weekend. So we weren’t there to get our special belongings, the things you always, you know, if there was a fire, what would you grab, right? We weren’t there to do any of that. And in one day, 100 % of our material possessions were gone.
We didn’t have flood insurance. didn’t have any. There was nothing. And we were on this path of going to one income. And I was pregnant with my second baby. It was due in a month. We didn’t have hand-me-downs for baby number two. We had nothing. And my husband sat there. And he said, right when this happened, we were standing in front of the house just looking at all of our things, just mold-covered. I mean, just awful. And he said, “God loves us so much. He took away our stuff.”
Candace Nassar (20:00.609)
My gosh.
Monica Zerwas (20:30.19)
And at the time I wanted to hurt him when he said that. I was like, “Not now, it’s too soon.” But it was the most beautiful thing that he could have said because none of it matters. And so it was really me. I mean, I felt like the Lord, like he needed to show me this stuff. “Monica, It doesn’t matter. It’s not gonna ever be enough. I’m enough. I am the daily bread. I am that. It’s me, I’m all.”
Candace Nassar (20:32.931)
You
Candace Nassar (20:51.151)
Mmm.
Monica Zerwas (21:00.026)
You need and and it took that for us.
And again, it still rears its ugly face. I still love these beautiful things and see these beautiful things. And it’s truly in the desire to model for my girls. “Honey, I know I see that and want it too. But let’s just wait. Let’s not be instant gratification. Let’s put it on a list if you want to spend your piggy bank money.” Having these tangible things to teach them. And it just is, it’s just so important. It’s such an important work.
Candace Nassar (21:33.005)
Yeah, I mean, I think about just that you’re talking about delayed gratification and what an incredible thing that is to teach your girls. So there’s so much in this and I cannot get over the fact that God allowed that hurricane to take everything you needed. I mean, everything you had that you thought you needed and show you you didn’t need it. Right? And then I’m sure He came along and provided, right? People helped and you were provided for.
Monica Zerwas (21:50.336)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes, yes.
Monica Zerwas (21:59.8)
Something like that.
Candace Nassar (22:01.921)
You were encouraged by and you saw so much victory in that. So that, and His faithfulness.
Monica Zerwas (22:06.766)
There was, yeah, there was so much. Our pastor here talks about all the time, there are good people who aren’t saved, right? There are generous people who aren’t saved. It’s the saved, the differentiator is suffering. And as believers, we suffer well.
That’s how we set ourselves apart. That’s how we stand, you know, different and as we suffer well and endure well and it’s a hard thing, but it is, like I said, it’s just worthy work and it’s seeing Him through all of that, using other people to come alongside us and just be the hands and feet. I mean, there were such specific prayers and I mean answering immediately in peace.
Somebody just praying over us in a line at Walmart. I mean, just different things that because of this hurricane, we just saw His goodness and knew, like, You see us, You’re working, and we trust you.
Candace Nassar (23:10.029)
And you were able to just keep walking and knowing that He’d already called you to make these changes. And you were able to, it’s so cool how God does that, isn’t it? I just love that so much. And as part of your simplicity, well, first, let’s talk about, I know you already said with the girls, how you’re discipling them through these boundaries on spending. What do you do with the grandparents? How do you get them on board with that?
Monica Zerwas (23:37.582)
So that’s such a funny question. It’s you know, it’s been a sweet help through the season of trying to rebuild from Hurricane Harvey Their grandma, my husband’s now stepmom, would help and buy for them for Christmas or for their birthday. It would be their clothes and take them shopping for clothes and it would be a need which is really sweet and great now. It was Gigi and it’s excessive for sure. But it definitely filled such a need in those seasons. And I am very, it’s hard, I’m very particular.
I want quality over quantity. And I tell them that all the time. I want heirloom. I want something that can maybe be passed down if there’s not a hurricane for them. I want less for them so they can see. And any homeschool family, any homeschool mom, I think has probably told this story or made sure their kids have heard the Little House on the Prairie Christmas story. Yes.
Candace Nassar (24:26.127)
Mmm. Mmm.
Candace Nassar (24:33.284)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (24:46.747)
My favorite. I grew up watching that. I just dated myself.
Monica Zerwas (24:50.398)
Yeah, and I’m like, you know that Mary and Laura got one doll and one peppermint stick for Christmas, right? And we always joke about that in our homeschool group. But we have the power to ask, “What is normal?” And Tinley’s first Christmas, I easily spent $1,000. She was two months old. I easily spent $1,000 on her. Her first birthday, one of our friends came in and was like, is Texas Monthly coming to this birthday party? What is this? Her first birthday was over the top insane, and this was the before. And now…
I’m like, no, we have to start over, like back to the drawing board. And they may get two or three gifts. Like it’s these little things. And so it’s asking. You asked about the grandparents and it is asking them and just reminding them of how we’re wanting to teach and train the girls and that it’s so important. And there have been times where they want the excitement and they want the reaction from the girls. But I have to remind them,
that’s gonna wear off and be in the trash in a couple of days. I would so much rather like let’s get them a zoo membership Let’s get them a membership to the Science Museum and so we’ve really leaned into experiences from grandparents. We did Great Wolf Lodge this year for Christmas for the girls and so it’s having these memories. The girls know that and they prefer that because when the toy breaks, when they get so much stuff from a birthday party, we show them when was the last time you played with those toys? Like when was the last time you pulled that out? Don’t you think it was a lot? Do you have time to play with all these things? Like don’t you get bored with them? And so we’re very realistic and logical in teaching them. Like we don’t sugarcoat things. you know.
Candace Nassar (26:32.015)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Zerwas (26:43.688)
The only time our girls step foot in a store is, I mean, if mom and dad are not able to, like one of them, keep them. It’s an emergency. We have to run in and grab an orange for a recipe or something. We don’t go to toy stores. My girls don’t go to Target. They don’t see the toy section.
It’s torture for them. It’s like us going to Pinterest and we get jealous, we get envious, we want, we get angry. And so, yeah, it’s just doing those simple things that really help to bring that all together.
Candace Nassar (27:07.193)
Right.
Candace Nassar (27:16.547)
You know, you made me think of, again, John Mark Comer in the book when he talks about recognizing advertising as propaganda. And I think that’s a key thing we got. We teach or we have to teach our kids too. They’re trying to manipulate you. Don’t let it happen. Right. Because we can be countercultural. We need to be countercultural. You talk about Christians suffering. Well, let’s also be joyful, having joy and contentment when we don’t have everything.
Monica Zerwas (27:24.43)
100%.
Monica Zerwas (27:31.82)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (27:45.997)
You know, and I, I just, this is, this is such good stuff. Okay. So as we’re starting to wind down, I want to know about your decision. So, you have made , I guess, I don’t know how many years ago it was, but you made a decision to stop wearing makeup as part of this whole process. And I want to hear about that because that’s just such a beautiful self acceptance. So tell us about that.
Monica Zerwas (28:11.798)
Yes.
Yes, so it’s been seven years. This, well, in March it was seven years, which is crazy to think it’s been that long. And it really started with my husband just being sweet and just confirming my beauty as I am. And like, I don’t need that. He didn’t care if I put on make-up, you know, it wasn’t here nor there. He just wanted me to feel beautiful and confident how I was. And so he kind of planted the seed initially, but I was, “No, I mean, I need it like this is. This is what women do. Like this is what society does.”
My mom growing up said, “I have to put on my face before I leave the house”. She wouldn’t leave the house, and my grandmother, I remember her saying, “You need it. You need to get dressed for your husband, You need to look well for him.” Meanwhile, my husband’s like, “No babe. Like you’re beautiful. You don’t need it. Like why do you put that on?” So, It wasn’t until my oldest was two years old. My first baby was two years old. She was very verbal and I was putting on my makeup in front of her and she came into the bathroom and she just simply said the words, “Mama why do you put that stuff on your face?”
And I was tripping over my words. I was trying to come up with something to say and all the things that came into my head were, “It’s just what we do. Women wear makeup. It makes me feel more confident. It makes me feel beautiful. Well it’s fun.” It’s not fun. I hate doing it.
Monica Zerwas (29:52.43)
I could not come up with a reason that I was okay with saying to her because the moment I say, “It makes me feel confident, it makes me feel awake, it makes me feel, I wanna feel confident, it makes me feel beautiful, I wanna be beautiful….”
No. I immediately just stuck with it, and I probably just changed the subject and made her go along her way, but I didn’t move on. It stuck with me and I really had to sit and think, “Wait a minute. Why do I do this thing called makeup? Why do we do this?” And I didn’t enjoy it. And I know they’re makeup artists and it’s an art for some. And I love that. That’s amazing for them. It wasn’t for me. It was not funny. I dreaded getting ready.
We spend so much money and so much time changing who we are and some women, because I’ve talked about this online and with friends, will say, “I just I don’t have a good complexion or I have blemishes and I have wrinkles or I just don’t look awake and what about your husband what does he do about that?”
Candace Nassar (30:45.571)
Yes.
Monica Zerwas (31:04.627)
I love my husband and I love men. This isn’t a man thing. But why is it that women are expected to cover up flaws, blemishes, but men aren’t? Like why do we have to get fancy for an event, but they don’t?
Candace Nassar (31:06.404)
Yeah.
Monica Zerwas (31:30.506)
When you just sit and really take the pride down, and think about it. It’s interesting to think, “Why do I? Why do we do the things we do?” And it’s just been this. Why do we drink alcohol? Why do we feel like we have to? Why are we obsessed with coffee? Like we just quit coffee. We quit alcohol. I mean, it’s just these things. And I’m not saying any of these things are inherently bad, but it’s personal, right? For each person, it’s a personal conviction. For us, it’s, it’s been, we’re just doing it because it’s what you do. And it doesn’t make any sense.Candace Nassar
(31:51.309)
Yes.
Monica Zerwas (32:00.42)
And I want my girls to see and to know because the last thing I want them to do is say, “I need this to be beautiful and I want to look like her or her.” And when we look at these unmade up tiny faces in front of us, we see beauty. But when we look in the mirror, our mama, our daddy saw that, but we don’t see that in ourselves, but we’ve completely just been morphed. And my husband always says, like cavemen, you know, like in other cultures, third world, whatever, where they haven’t been exposed to the advertising and the media and the manipulation of the beauty industry. What do they think is beautiful?
You know, there are tribes where women have no hair and they’re beautiful or just there are so many differences. So it’s just this interesting, why do we do the things we do? And I think it’s worth it to sit back and ask those questions and to dig. And if you feel the nudge.
Candace Nassar (32:48.847)
That’s right.
Monica Zerwas (33:04.126)
If you think that it doesn’t, you don’t have a stronghold, I always say try to give it up. And if that’s a struggle, you probably need to give it up and maybe not forever, but there’s something there that has a hold on you. And it has been the neatest experience and everyone around me has it on my girls. They see every family member of mine wears makeup. My homeschool crew, most of them don’t, which is really neat for them to see other women that can feel confident and good.
And sometimes they do for an event. They want to get fancy, which is kind of the verbiage they use, which is okay and fine. I think, like I said, it’s a personal conviction, but it’s been so fun to have four little girls watch mama go out and be confident even if I have blemishes because I do. I’m like after my fourth baby, I have crazy rosacea. I’m like, really? Like I quit makeup and this is what happens now, you know?
Candace Nassar (34:00.591)
you
Monica Zerwas (34:03.856)
But it’s just been so sweet and a good opener to have conversations about. “Why do you want to do that? Is it because your friend at church maybe did that? Or why do you want that outfit or that bow now?” Or just to have those open dialogues with your kids to really understand, be who you are, don’t follow, and be confident in who God made you to be because you are just beautiful and perfect.
Candace Nassar (34:23.887)
Absolutely. So good, so thought provoking. I love the questions that you’re asking and presenting to us and it’s really challenging us. So thank you so much for sharing all these great insights. You’re very wise and I am just thrilled to have met you. So God bless.
Monica Zerwas (34:45.305)
Thank you so much. Thank you. This has been great.