Candace Nassar (00:00.437)
Well, welcome Monica. I am just so thrilled to have you on the show today. Your journey and the heart you bring to encouraging and uplifting others have truly inspired me and countless others as well. And as I’ve gotten to know you over the past several months, it’s just so clear your passion for helping people and encouraging others. It just shines through everything you do. And so I know our listeners are going to be really blessed to hear your story today.
Monica Gelinas (00:11.497)
Okay.
Monica Gelinas (00:19.575)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (00:27.062)
Candace Nassar (00:29.409)
God has worked powerfully in your life and I want to share that and I know you want to share that with our audience and so thank you for being here and we’re just excited. So, It’s good to have you
Monica Gelinas (00:37.516)
Hmm.
Thank you. Thank you, Candace. I’m so happy to be here and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my story.
Candace Nassar (00:48.523)
Yes, it’s going to be good. So tell us a little bit about yourself and your family first.
Monica Gelinas (00:54.432)
Okay, well, I’m a mom, my all time favorite job or calling.I have quadruplets that are 28, two boys and two girls, and now they all live outside of Austin. Right now I serve as executive director for CC4C, Cheyenne is Champions for Children. We uplift children and families in Texas who have rare and undiagnosed conditions. And I’ve been on staff with CC4C for almost 10 years. I’ve done many different roles. It was named after Cheyenne, my niece, who had a rare condition as a baby. Also, I’m a certified life coach and practitioner in positive psychology. I’ve been practicing for 15 years in new season, new vision life coaching. And before I had children, I was a special ed teacher for 10 years.
Candace Nassar (01:49.099)
Yeah, that’s quite, that’s where, when I found that out, I’m like, you are a special woman for sure. If all the other stuff didn’t indicate that.
Monica Gelinas (01:55.501)
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. I was also married for 22 years and then went through a very painful divorce in 2009. And in 2010, I moved myself and my kids to Austin. And I’ve been very blessed because I was recently remarried two and a half years ago. That’s a whole other miracle story.
Candace Nassar (02:23.383)
Yeah, maybe you can tell us that one sometime. Yeah, so great. And so, yeah, you’ve got so much to tell us today and share with us along your… because you’ve had, I mean, just like everyone, we’ve all had a lot of struggles and victories and that’s how we learn. So, let’s go back to you as a young girl who had this dream and it was your greatest desire.
Monica Gelinas (02:26.285)
Yes.
Monica Gelinas (02:37.385)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Monica Gelinas (02:46.068)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (02:52.279)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (02:52.287)
And it ultimately also became your greatest fear. So why don’t you tell us about that?
Monica Gelinas (02:55.863)
Yes. Well, as I grew up in my early years, I always loved playing with dolls and Barbies. I’ve always loved working with children. We grew up in a family that always did outreach to orphanages and children. I basically worked my whole life with children. I felt called to motherhood from a young age, and I had this dream and this vision of my life all planned out. I would have two kids, two years apart, starting at age 26. And I married at age 23. My husband was in medical school. And as we navigated through that, we started wanting to have children. And so, one year turned into two to three to four to five to six without children. And so my dream and my vision for my life just was not going how I had planned.
So I had done all this preparation and excitement and anticipation and all that turned slowly into confusion and fear, frustration, and then it literally became a crushing pain. And then I was just introduced to this four-letter word, “Wait”. And I just want to take a minute to describe the pain of just wanting to be pregnant and have a baby.
Candace Nassar (04:02.229)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (04:22.764)
Dealing with that waiting actually felt like anguish and it became all consuming. It was always at the back of my mind and I literally felt like time changed, like the time continuum slowed down. So I would wait every month and that month seemed like a year, and a minute to me was like an hour, and an hour was like a day. And I just felt the waiting period was draining.
And then I fell into what I call the comparison trap. And it looked like everyone else on the planet was pregnant, getting pregnant, all my friends, my sisters, my colleagues. And then I had to be happy for them.
Candace Nassar (04:57.828)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (05:09.687)
Yeah, that’s just like grinding a knife into you, right? And you’re waiting and it’s your dream and it’s just in your face all the time. So, and I mean, really so many people struggle with infertility today. And so I’m just so thankful that you’re sharing this. So this led to really a crisis of faith.
Monica Gelinas (05:11.413)
Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (05:18.089)
Yes, yes.
Yes. Yes.
Monica Gelinas (05:38.474)
Yes, yes, navigating that long-term pain, the wait, no answers. It turned into what I call a crisis of faith, a wrestling with God. Like, why God? You know, I knew God when I turned 10. So I had a relationship with God. And at this point, you know, I just felt like He wanted me to be a mom. And so I started asking questions like, “Why? What do I need to do? Is God still good?” And I was truly in a season of suffering. And I remember the scripture in Proverbs and it says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.” And I really did feel heart sick. And I also was trying to navigate other people’s advice and sometimes even being judged by other people for how I felt or, you know, do I do fertility or not, or praying for miracles, hearing, “Well, God’s timing is perfect.” That was very hard for me. I needed to be listened to. I needed comfort and I needed encouragement.
Candace Nassar (06:53.207)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (06:56.587)
You know, that’s so good. I’m actually doing the Bible recap right now and we are in the, we’re in Genesis. We were in Job and these two are so relevant to what you’re saying because, of course, in Genesis, we see a bunch of times when God promises something, but it takes many years for Sarah and Rachel to have children.
Monica Gelinas (07:00.765)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (07:07.027)
Yes.
Yes. Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (07:16.862)
Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yep.
Candace Nassar (07:23.487)
So there’s a biblical example of that, of waiting and how God used that in their life. And then we have Job who was taken through crazy things by God’s hand, you know, God allowed it. And we want to ask “Why?” right. We want to ask why and we want to understand it. But really that’s the point of Job is that we have to trust God’s goodness and we hear.
Monica Gelinas (07:25.835)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (07:29.798)
Absolutely.
Monica Gelinas (07:36.432)
yeah.
Monica Gelinas (07:42.131)
Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Monica Gelinas (07:48.772)
Exactly.
Mm-hmm. Yes. Exactly.
Candace Nassar (07:52.587)
In the last chapters where God says, “Where were you when I created the world?” and all of that, right? His friends gave him a bunch of bad advice. And that’s what made me think of this is when you’re talking about how you needed to just be comforted and heard. And that’s a really good point for all of us as we have people in our lives that are going through suffering.
Monica Gelinas (08:03.594)
yeah. Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (08:12.903)
Yes.
Candace Nassar (08:20.819)
We need to remember that advice is not necessarily what they want.
Monica Gelinas (08:21.012)
Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, I really thought about Hannah when you’re talking about different people in the Bible. I really was. One of the things that I did do was I read about women in the Bible that struggled with infertility and Hannah was one.
Candace Nassar (08:32.957)
Mmm, Hannah, yes.
Monica Gelinas (08:49.693)
It says in the CSB translation, it says that she was “praying out of the depth of anguish and resentment”. And another translation says she was “praying out of great anguish and grief”. She was pouring out her soul in the temple to God to the point she was so emotional about it they thought she was drunk. And so that’s such a great description of how I felt.
Candace Nassar (08:58.071)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (09:11.383)
That’s right.
Monica Gelinas (09:19.465)
I was praying from the depths of my soul. And that’s one of the things that I felt like, one of the tools that helped me get through it was when I remained open to God. And I’ve always journaled my whole life. So journaling was my safe place and I could release my emotions and I could be real with Him. And then I could choose just a few people that I could be open and vulnerable with, like my mom and my sisters, and maybe just one or two close friends that I could lament, like have a safe place to lament. Yeah, and then I started noticing in the Psalms, like even thinking about this in Psalm 13.
Candace Nassar (10:01.963)
Which is so important.
Monica Gelinas (10:14.601)
The psalmist writes about his complaints and his cries. Lament actually means cries for help or complaints. Psalm 13 is a perfect description of what it means to have a waiting period asking how long. The psalmist actually says, “How long?” to God. He’s complaining to God. He’s complaining and he’s experiencing raw emotion and expressing specific requests. He’s naming all his fears. And that’s how I felt. And I think it’s okay. I mean, if this is in the Bible and the psalmist is doing it, it’s okay to complain to God. It’s a part of turning to God in faith.
Candace Nassar (11:00.309)
Yes.
Candace Nassar (11:09.313)
Yes.
Monica Gelinas (11:11.547)
So He welcomes our raw feelings and our raw questions. And doing that actually leads to moving into a declaration of saying, “Yes, I will trust in You and I will still praise You.” So, I think that’s just so powerful to give people permission to lament. And even in Psalm 34, it says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those crushed in spirit.”
Candace Nassar (11:26.636)
Hmm.
Monica Gelinas (11:39.546)
And I literally felt like I was crushed in spirit all those years waiting. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (11:45.367)
I can imagine. I can imagine. Yeah. And waiting, we know God uses it, but when we’re in it, like you said, time just slowed down. So I’m so glad that you were able to find those tools and lean into God and be honest with Him and just watch Him change your heart. Cause I know that’s what happened.
Monica Gelinas (11:51.451)
Yes. Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, it does.
Candace Nassar (12:10.823)
And then the Lord spoke to you loud and clear at a critical point in your crisis. And so that’s what I want to hear about.
Monica Gelinas (12:21.498)
Okay, well this was August of 1995 and we were planting a church in Chicago when we had a conference to help train and support us. So during the worship I was praying quietly and I heard God speak very clearly to my heart and His Word. His question to me was, “Am I enough for you?”
And I was just speechless and didn’t answer right away. And then just started thinking, you know, if I never have a child, will I be okay with me and God? Do I really believe God is good? Period. No matter what. So this was truly my inflection point, my turning point of surrender. So I let go.
I had been trying so hard to check all the boxes and prepare, so then God would do what I wanted and desired. But I felt all God wanted from me is to surrender all to Him.
Candace Nassar (13:30.337)
So how did you, when He asked you that, how did you get to a place, I mean, what happened that you were able, you just listened and you were able to go, “Okay, Lord, I surrender”?
Monica Gelinas (13:33.047)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (13:42.361)
Yeah, well, I had been navigating the pain for so long that I felt like that question to me was a choice I had. Do I want to carry this pain and suffering or do I want to let go of it all? And so it was my choice. And I thought I would.
Candace Nassar (14:02.232)
Mmm. Wow.
Candace Nassar (14:08.981)
Right. That’s right.
Monica Gelinas (14:10.98)
I want to let go. I believed in my heart, deep in my heart, God loves me. After all, He doesn’t owe me anything. He already gave me His son for me. And so I felt like I was literally at a precipice.
Candace Nassar (14:29.665)
Yeah, you’re at a crossroads.
Monica Gelinas (14:31.471)
I was definitely at a crossroads and so I think the crushing pain really was like, “Do I really want to continue this or just let it all go?” And I opened my hands and just said, “I let go.” And “Yes, You are enough for me.” And this was like full of tears and this was not like a pretty sight.
Candace Nassar (14:43.186)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (14:50.721)
Wow.
Candace Nassar (14:54.817)
Of course.
Well, you know, I think ultimately that’s really where God wants us to get to, right, is that surrender. And that was just such a beautiful question and so merciful of Him, right?
Monica Gelinas (15:04.204)
Yes, absolutely.
Monica Gelinas (15:10.039)
Yes, mm-hmm. Yes, I mean His love. He just wanted all this love for me and like it is a beautiful question when I think about it. It truly is.
Candace Nassar (15:21.655)
Yeah. so, wow. So you were able to surrender and then something else happened not long after that.
Monica Gelinas (15:27.682)
Yes. Yes. So, yeah. So right after this service, I was standing outside at the top of the steps and one of the leaders came up to me and said, you’ve been praying for something for a really long time and God wants you to know that your prayer will be answered at the end of a year. Yes. This was at the end of the service.
Candace Nassar (15:52.298)
Nuh-uh.
Yeah
Monica Gelinas (15:57.368)
And I was, I don’t think I ever, I actually don’t think I even said anything. I was just like in shock. I was like, “Wow.” I was stunned and overwhelmed with gratitude. And so I did, I wrote it down. And then from that point on, I tried to figure it all out. Like I can figure out God. Yeah, I’m going to figure Him out.
Candace Nassar (15:57.622)
Wow.
Candace Nassar (16:20.983)
Back to your old ways, right?
Monica Gelinas (16:26.438)
When is this actually gonna happen? So, I’m like, okay, it was August. By the end of the year, it’s December. So I’ll be pregnant by December. Well, I wasn’t. And so then I’m like, “Well, maybe that wasn’t really God. Maybe I heard God wrong. Maybe He was wrong.” But it was during that season that we learned about a fertility treatment, the Pergonol shot. And so after December, in January we had the opportunity to do the treatment and so in January I met with the doctors and we did the Fertility shot and they’re like, “Okay. So just so you know, you will not be pregnant the first month. No one gets pregnant. It never happens.” I was like, “Okay, you know, so, well, they were wrong. The first month I was pregnant at, you know, four weeks. I went in and was tested and I was pregnant and then they said, “Well, the levels show you’ll probably have more than one, but it’ll most likely be twins. At the most you could have triplets, but that’s it.” Well, wrong again. Seven weeks later, I went to my ultrasound and the nurse, she just starts counting one, two, three, four, and then she stops. And I was like,
Candace Nassar (17:38.245)
Wow.
Candace Nassar (17:53.404)
Unbelievable.
Monica Gelinas (17:54.245)
I just said, “Help me Jesus.” That’s how I responded. And so they told me, you know, this was in Chicago. They told me they wouldn’t all live. They told me all these things and every single thing that they had said was wrong because God showed up and just did one miracle after another. My whole pregnancy journey started. We ended up moving to Baltimore and got put with a
high-risk fertility team that was strong, and she told me I can have the baby’s natural, and I did go on bed rest but God just had me overcoming fear after fear and then He just did one miracle after another, and exactly one year from that prophecy my quadruplets were born on August 8th and my prayer was answered. They were all born natural and healthy.
Literally tears, tears, tears when I held them for the first time because it was just so above and beyond. I could hardly contain it.
Candace Nassar (19:02.62)
Yeah, I mean, imagine you’ve been praying your whole life. I’m imagining that you knew that this was the heart God had given you. You had to wait so long. And then he abundantly blesses you with four healthy babies all at once. That’s so incredible. And you tell us a little, you told me how you went through a struggle where they were trying to get you to maybe whatever you call it- reduce.
Monica Gelinas (19:09.464)
Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (19:19.243)
Yes.
Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (19:30.54)
Yes. Yes. Yeah. So as soon as we found out we were having four, the doctors recommended, you know, reduce them because the likelihood of survival is very low. Well, my husband was, you know, a physician. He was a resident at that time. And he asked, “Well, what are the statistics for how quadruplets do in their survival rate?” Well, they didn’t have any statistics they could give us.
This was in 1996 where the internet was not what it is today. And so we did our own research and it turns out that’s absolutely not an option for us. Like, absolutely not. I’ve waited my whole life to be pregnant. I’m not going to be messing around with anything much less, dishonor God. But they really pushed it. And we just stood against them and then God.
Candace Nassar (20:01.965)
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (20:29.068)
Thank God he finished residency and we moved to fellowship at the University of Maryland and he got placed at the hospital where my doctors were. So when I was on bed rest, we had this high risk for OBGYN team that took care of me and they were amazing. It was the complete opposite. They’re like, “Yeah, you can have the babies. Yeah, they’re going to be healthy.” And so I felt like that was God’s provision for us. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (20:54.766)
Absolutely. Yeah, I’m sure you were praying about it and and He answered that one very clearly. So, okay, so what did you learn from this whole experience?
Monica Gelinas (20:59.656)
Mm-hmm. Yes.
Monica Gelinas (21:06.763)
Well, I think some really good nuggets came out of this pain and this journey. First, waiting can mean preparation. This has been a huge lesson for me with other waiting periods in my life because God was preparing, not only me, but others that would be helping me with the children.
It was like he was creating this tapestry. I had this picture of a tapestry and I could only see one little thread or like the knots of threads, but He could see the entire masterpiece. So that was huge for me. Another was surrender. Surrender is such a great word. It means a lot, but God basically wanted my whole heart and I don’t have to hold back.
with him, I can pour out anything to him. And then in times of uncertainty, peace is possible. I felt like where is the peace in this suffering and painfulness, but God’s peace can be present in uncertainty. So that’s one of the big nuggets that I took away from this journey. God really did
turn all the pain into a gift. So, He’s brought women across my path over the past 20 years with similar struggles. And they just come across my path and I end up praying for them. And another big nugget for me, a takeaway was gratitude. Gratitude really does lift the soul, scientifically proven.
Candace Nassar (22:41.542)
Mm.
Monica Gelinas (22:54.114)
And so that’s just been one of my practices over all the years that I’ve been a mom and to this day I have a daily practice of gratitude.
Candace Nassar (23:03.964)
That’s so good. That’s your journaling part of it, I’m sure. Yeah, so good. Oh, goodness. Well, Monica, there’s just so much in that story. And just before we start to close, tell us about your kids today. I mean, 28 years later.
Monica Gelinas (23:07.294)
Yes. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (23:22.083)
Well, they’re my joy. Diana lives in New Mexico and she’s an esthetician. And then I have two of my children in Denver, Sarah, and she has her master’s degree and is working in public health with an emphasis on mental health. And then Caleb is in the tech business.
Candace Nassar (23:45.296)
Mmm.
Monica Gelinas (23:52.318)
He’s an engagement manager. And he also lives in Denver. And then Josh is in Seattle. And he is a product manager for a financial estate technology company. And so I get to go to all these great places and visit and we connect regularly and share prayer requests and what’s going on in our lives.
Candace Nassar (24:13.553)
Yeah.
Monica Gelinas (24:20.033)
They’re very, very bonded and very close. So that’s truly one of the desires of my heart is that they will continue to just be strengthened and they love sharing their story being quadruplets. so it’s really, really been an incredible journey.
Candace Nassar (24:42.95)
Right, and I’m sure that, like you said, the preparation that God was doing, right, that that faithfulness that you saw and that trust that He had built in you enabled you to get through those hard years raising quadruplets.
Monica Gelinas (24:47.349)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Monica Gelinas (24:53.663)
Yes, yes, yes. There were many more seasons of struggle, but it’s like each lesson built on the next one and empowered me to move forward and, you know, help the kids to have the same tools in their lives. And now as young adults, they have some of those tools to help them navigate. Mm hmm. Yes.
Candace Nassar (25:15.26)
So good. Wonderful. Well, is there anything else that you would want to encourage someone struggling today with an unanswered prayer or desire of their heart?
Monica Gelinas (25:23.897)
Yes. I think I would want to say, you know, share your struggle. It’s an invitation to be authentic and know you’re not alone and show up for opportunities to be in God’s presence. I could have isolated and stayed at home from that conference, but I just showed up. I didn’t expect myself to do anything and I received a gift.
Candace Nassar (25:54.556)
That’s right.
Monica Gelinas (25:54.625)
And then also just remember that life makes more sense in reverse. So don’t give up. Great souls are grown through struggles and storms and seasons of suffering, and miracles still happen. “God can do abundantly above all we can ask or imagine.” Our theme verse for our family is Ephesians 20:21 about “God doing exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or
imagine” and that’s what he did for me for sure. I never thought I would have four children. My mom as a young girl always called me her fragile little snowflake and so when I got pregnant I said, “Guess what? Your fragile snowflake is having quadruplets.” And so my encouragement to people is to pray and hope. Don’t give up, hope. Yes.
Candace Nassar (26:26.406)
For sure.
Candace Nassar (26:49.018)
Mmm, that’s so good. Wow. Well, Monica, I just can’t thank you enough for sharing your story. It’s just beautiful and encouraging. So, I know that you and I talked and you would like to pray. So I’m going to turn it over to you to pray us out.
Monica Gelinas (27:02.662)
Yes. Okay. Okay. I would love to pray. Lord God, I just thank You for this opportunity to share my story of hope and restoration, truly beauty from ashes. And Lord, if there’s anyone listening that feels this anguish and pain of a prayer unanswered, infertility or a struggle, I ask that You would help them to know that You see them. You see them, You love them, and You have good plans for them. I ask, Lord, that the Holy Spirit would fill them with comfort and peace that goes beyond all understanding, that You would help their heart to be healed, and that You would bring light and healing into their situation. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Thank you, Candace.
Candace Nassar (27:57.87)
Amen. Thank you, friend.
