Candace Nassar (00:00.812)
Well, welcome everyone. Today on our MonQ Mingle, Annie and I are gonna be discussing faith versus fear, a topic that we’re both still learning about every day, but God has given us some insights over the years and he has prompted us to share those with you. So we’re excited to get started. We’re glad that you’ve joined us today. And hi, Annie, how are you?
Annie Mendrala (00:25.24)
Hi, doing good, doing good.
Candace Nassar (00:27.948)
Good. What’s been happening?
Annie Mendrala (00:31.184)
Well, my life has been, well, it’s fall and so a lot of football. Sam plays high school football, so we have a lot of fun watching him and going to games. My older two, who are at Liberty University, are coming home next week for fall break. So I’m so excited to have all five of us under the roof. I know our listeners have young kids and they’re used to their kids.
Candace Nassar (00:49.016)
Bye.
Annie Mendrala (00:59.33)
a lot of them just being around but the house gets really quiet when they leave so I’m so excited that they’re coming back and just trying to be intentional about spending time with them and even as the things that we’ve been teaching taking time to talk with them about those and I don’t know I’m excited.
Candace Nassar (01:19.369)
Yeah, good relationship time. There’s nothing like when your kids move out and then they all come home. It’s the absolute sweetest. So I’m glad you’re going to have that. So good. Yeah, don’t talk about that yet. I’m just enjoying this fall weather we’re having here in Texas. It’s nice and cool in the mornings. So beautiful. Time to get out in nature.
Annie Mendrala (01:21.732)
Yes.
Annie Mendrala (01:28.418)
I know, And then the holidays are coming up. What in the world? Like, how to start thinking about those.
Candace Nassar (01:45.044)
And then just working hard, we’re having our annual fundraiser for MomQ in a month. And we’ve been really busy preparing for that. It’s going to be so fun this year. Lots of great stuff as we have live music and barbecue tasting and stuff, because MomQ is growing and we are, as we try to finish out our curriculum production and get it out to churches, we need to hire some staff. So that’s all the things that we’re fundraising for. So it’s exciting.
Annie Mendrala (01:49.967)
Yes.
Annie Mendrala (02:14.51)
Yes, it would be great if our listeners would pray for the ministry and pray for that, you know. That’s a great way for y’all to partner with us and just trust God to provide so that we can grow the ministry.
Candace Nassar (02:15.557)
Very, very.
Candace Nassar (02:27.116)
Mm-hmm. Yes, so more moms can hear about how to live for Jesus and your family. Okay, so let’s get started talking about faith versus fear. So the first thing I want to ask you is why do you think, because you’re so philosophical and theological, why do you think we as humans struggle so much with fear?
Annie Mendrala (02:31.374)
Yes.
Annie Mendrala (02:54.404)
Yeah, it’s a really good question. Like, why is fear, it’s everywhere. I was thinking about it. One of the reasons I think we have so much fear is we’re incapable of meeting the expectations we put on ourselves. And we know it deep down inside. We set all these expectations and deep down inside we know that we’re weak and that we’re just average at best.
Candace Nassar (03:09.45)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (03:22.008)
you
Annie Mendrala (03:22.158)
You know, like at the end of the day, it’s like, you know, I’m weak. Often I’m looking to myself to resource the things I want to do, or I feel like, you know, the goals I have. And when I do that, the more I look at myself, the more fearful I become. Cause I realized, whoa, I can’t do all this. It’s just not possible.
Candace Nassar (03:45.501)
Well, until we look around, right? We look around and that’s the worst thing we can do because that makes us even more insecure as we see people seemingly having everything go right in their life, which is absolutely not true, but that’s what social media and whatever has us believe.
Annie Mendrala (03:57.188)
Mm-hmm.
Annie Mendrala (04:07.118)
Yeah, it’s that pitfall of comparison that, you know, yeah, that creates a lot of fear. If I’m trying to live somebody else’s life, it’s impossible. I love when our new pastor came on board and he said, “Wow, those are some big shoes to fill after, you know, 34 years of someone leading our church.” And he said, “Well, I’m just gonna go ahead and put my own shoes on then.” And I thought, that’s so wise.
Candace Nassar (04:09.94)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (04:15.426)
the job.
Candace Nassar (04:34.295)
Yes.
Annie Mendrala (04:35.074)
In fear, we’re trying to do things that really aren’t ours to do.
Candace Nassar (04:39.968)
Yeah, that God didn’t create us to do.
Annie Mendrala (04:42.36)
Especially with our kids, right? And we’ll get into that, I know, but like a lot of that fear comes from me trying to control the outcomes of my children’s life. And that’s impossible.
Candace Nassar (04:50.498)
Hmm.
Yeah. And then of course you have all the things that are going on in society. You know, we hear in the 24 hour news cycle, I mean, my goodness, the natural disasters, the school shootings. Just everything- the politics of today. It’s just fear, fear, fear. So, it’s like we’re set up for failure in so many ways, you know?
Annie Mendrala (04:57.85)
Mm-hmm.
Annie Mendrala (05:16.787)
Yeah, we’re programmed to be afraid. Like we’re programmed to just live in fear and to be on the offense or the defense maybe.
Candace Nassar (05:25.657)
But that’s not God’s design, right? And we’ll talk about that in a second. Actually, do we know who is the father of fear? Who is the father of lies? Satan himself, right? And Satan is real. And he’s the one who, he and his army, are whispering in our ears and telling us that we’re not good enough, that we’re alone, that we don’t deserve love.
Annie Mendrala (05:36.986)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (05:49.637)
Mm.
Candace Nassar (05:53.928)
These are lies that cause us fear. It’s not from God, right? And the verse that really has helped me over the years with having victory over that is Ephesians 6:12, where Paul is in the middle of talking about putting on the armor of God. And he says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood.”
Annie Mendrala (06:00.08)
Mm-mm.
Candace Nassar (06:21.602)
“But against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Personally, October is a month where we kind of try to lean into our fears, I guess, with the whole Halloween observance and things. you know, but…
Annie Mendrala (06:33.488)
Mm.
Candace Nassar (06:48.384)
I mean, honestly, it’s scary to me because Satan is real and he tells us we don’t need God and that we can go through this life on our own, but we can’t. We absolutely can’t do it on our own. And one more thing, I’ll let you talk, but one more thing too is I always think about our mind being a battlefield. And I think Joyce Myers wrote a book on that.
Annie Mendrala (07:00.837)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (07:17.504)
We just get stuck in our thinking. And I read a book, I don’t know, a very long time ago in my journey of faith, by Frank Peretti called This Present Darkness. Did you read that? That was so good. It’s so old and our listeners are probably like, what? But it’s this incredible fictional account of spiritual warfare.
Annie Mendrala (07:30.224)
So good. Yeah, so good.
Candace Nassar (07:44.088)
I envision that it’s probably a lot more like that than we realize. So, those demons are sitting on our shoulders telling us these things that defeat us over and over again. And we just get stuck in that thinking. And we don’t have to be. We don’t have to be.
Annie Mendrala (08:01.892)
Yeah, it’s so interesting. This morning I started in my yearly Bible reading, I started in the New Testament, and Jesus over and over is encountering demon-possessed people, or demons, and he’s constantly telling them to hush it because he doesn’t want them to reveal who he is because it says they know who he is. And so I was thinking about it. I’m like, today in our world, I know it’s a different time of grace and the Holy Spirit’s here and all of that, but…
Candace Nassar (08:21.142)
Mm-hmm.
Annie Mendrala (08:30.276)
just like how often is Satan and his demons just working around us, working against us, working in people who are not believers. I mean, it’s a real thing. And even that verse about “our battle is not against flesh and blood”, when I first heard that, I was like, huh, okay, people are not my enemy. There is a darker force behind me. If I settle,
Candace Nassar (08:43.668)
It is real.
Annie Mendrala (08:58.458)
for the reality, for the truth that people are my problem, then I’m really gonna be in trouble. And so recognizing that fear is not, we can’t fear man. We need to fear the spiritual forces in the sense that we need to turn to God and go to him to fight that battle.
Candace Nassar (09:16.12)
Amen. So yeah, that’s a perfect segue into our next talking point, which is what does the Bible say about fear and how can we overcome our fears?
Annie Mendrala (09:23.546)
Hmm.
Annie Mendrala (09:27.278)
Well, we all know what the Bible says over and over, “Do not fear.” What did you say you read how many times?
Candace Nassar (09:32.693)
we’re in a
Candace Nassar (09:37.628)
365 times. I saw it on several sources. Now I haven’t fact-checked that, but how cool is that if that’s true, right? Because it’s one day for one verse a day for every day of the year.
Annie Mendrala (09:51.32)
Yeah, every day of the year, God’s like, I’ll address this problem with you because He knew it would be so prevalent. Even this morning in my Bible reading, again, as I was opening up the New Testament, you know, as the angel comes to Mary, as angel comes to Zachariah and Elizabeth, like they’re all afraid. It says they were afraid. And then he says, “Do not fear.” And then even Joseph and Mary, as the angel comes to warn them to leave because
Candace Nassar (10:11.852)
Mm.
Annie Mendrala (10:20.964)
the political leader is going to execute all the babies, they’re afraid. Their first response is fear. And he continually responds with their fear with comfort. “Don’t be afraid.” Fear is perceived. It’s an emotional response to a perceived threat. So, I mean, probably if a, like a powerful angel walked in, I mean, we probably would be afraid, like, “Whoa, what’s happening here?” So, the fear wasn’t wrong and it was a God-given emotion and God met them in that emotion, that fear. So I love how the Bible says that over and over. “Do not fear, I am with you.” And he’s not saying fear is a sin or anything like that. He’s saying, “I know you’re afraid and I’m here to comfort you.”
Candace Nassar (11:04.534)
Hmm.
Candace Nassar (11:12.448)
Yeah, I love that. Yeah, we know that our body, you know, when we feel that threat, we get that fight or flight response. And, and so talk about that for a second, that how we can have a, I mean, what can we do when we get into that flight or fight response because of our fear?
Annie Mendrala (11:20.334)
Mm-hmm.
Annie Mendrala (11:32.44)
Yeah, so that’s a God-given response to danger, perceived threats. First of all, we need to stop and go, “Okay, is this perceived threat real or is this activating a different experience from the past where I’m afraid at this moment?” You know, I think with our kids, that happens a lot. Things come up with them and we feel fear and really it’s not anything to do with that moment. It might be something from our past, from our childhood.
Candace Nassar (11:49.858)
Hmm. Hmm.
Annie Mendrala (12:02.394)
Maybe it’s from someone else’s experience that we’ve heard about and now we are putting that into our own situation because we know that what we fear could come true. So I think it’s just important to start with recognizing I’ve got this fear, where is it coming from? Affirming that it’s okay to be afraid and then taking that scripture and replacing it with any lie that the enemy is trying to tell us.
Candace Nassar (12:14.36)
Mm.
Annie Mendrala (12:32.412)
You know all of that, and then taking appropriate action ultimately like what am I gonna do with this fear? Am I gonna let it hold me back? Am I gonna let it keep me from trusting God and getting out the door?
Candace Nassar (12:45.066)
Yeah, I mean one thing that I do is because I’ve struggled my whole life. I’ve had just, you know, from trauma in my childhood and whatnot, fears of so many things and triggers, and what I’ve had to learn to do is just take those thoughts captive that the Bible talks about. I love how Lindsey Warner, our our teaching psychologist on our team,
Annie Mendrala (13:04.282)
Thank
Candace Nassar (13:12.096)
talks about when we’re in that fight or flight state, we flipped our lid. so, you know, I love that. And because she uses the hand and the fist and I love how, you know, we can come back into that calm place where we’re in our proper frontal lobe that makes good decisions by taking action of, “I’m fearing. I fear right now.” Recognize it. Like you said, “Is it real?”
Annie Mendrala (13:17.332)
yeah.
Candace Nassar (13:41.514)
And then maybe I can just calm myself down by repeating a scripture verse about fear.
Annie Mendrala (13:49.68)
Yeah, a lot of counseling techniques start with a cleansing breath. It’s interesting how that gets into your parasympathetic nervous system, I think. Fear is like activating. Like we feel it on our fingers. We feel it on our shoulders and our back. You know, our bodies feel it. And then going, okay, breathe and reset. And then like you said, like getting that, the flipping of the lid go from, you know, the back of our brain to the front and just take some time. The more we practice it, the stronger that muscle will become too. The more our reaction time, our turnaround time, I should say, will be quicker.
Candace Nassar (14:28.854)
It gets better. Yeah, for sure. And then, of course, in the Word, Paul tells us the different things that we can do to put on the armor, to fight that evil, that fear that, you know, comes in those lies from the evil one. And I just love that, like he’s talking about standing firm with the belt of truth buckled around your waist. I mean, sometimes Christians fear that they’re going to lose their salvation or, you know, that they could possibly be overtaken by a demon or something like that. Well, the truth of the matter is, is that you are protected as a believer in Christ. We are protected. We have the angels of God on our side. And so that’s the truth that we can be confident in, right?
Annie Mendrala (15:17.55)
Yeah, well, and you know, the other thing is that fear isn’t always about a perceived threat. In the Bible, biblically, Proverbs 9-10 says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Like, there is a healthy fear that God has put in us. And that is meant for us to connect our hearts to the heart of our Father.
Candace Nassar (15:45.957)
yeah, I get what you’re saying. Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (15:47.444)
Fear is not always a bad thing. Fear is a feeling that gives us information and we need to take that perceived threat and recognize, “Okay, what does God want me to do with this?” There are times, I can guarantee you, there’s times where I especially, like in my marriage, I would just be doing things my own way. Now I just feel this anxious fear and it was like the Lord was saying, “Annie, return to me. Return to me. You’re going your own way.” Wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord. So if we think about it that way, it can really change what fear is in our lives.
Candace Nassar (16:24.94)
Yeah, the things that we know to be true. “God is for us, so who can be against us?” But we can’t have that healthy fear of knowing that He, you know, He’s on our side, and He is all powerful, and He can do anything. But making sure that we’re in touch with Him and depending on Him.
Annie Mendrala (16:48.472)
Yeah, even if I think about the Old Testament, I mean over and over the the promises, the covenant promises were if you obey Me and follow Me I will bless you, and if you don’t, you’ll be cursed. It wasn’t because He wanted to bring bad things into your life. It was just natural. Apart from God, life is miserable. It’s not that God causes our pain. It’s just what happens apart from God. Because only goodness is with him.
Candace Nassar (17:16.631)
Right.
That’s right. That’s good. So let’s give our listeners some of our favorite Bible verses that maybe they can look into. Ones that we go to when we’re having those fearful moments. Give us a couple of yours.
Annie Mendrala (17:25.456)
Hmm.
Annie Mendrala (17:32.014)
Yeah, I bet we have some of the same, Philippians 4, 6, and 7. “Don’t be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” I think I learned that verse. It was one of the first verses I ever learned.
Candace Nassar (17:52.374)
Yeah, me too, me too.
Annie Mendrala (17:57.74)
If any verse is memorized, that should be the one. That and John 3.16, right? What’s one of yours?
Candace Nassar (18:03.202)
Hmm.
Well, I’ve always loved Isaiah 41, 9 through 11, “Fear not for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” And that kind of answers or falls in line with where you’re talking about the fear of the Lord.
Annie Mendrala (18:09.934)
Hmm.
Annie Mendrala (18:28.014)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (18:33.588)
We know that He is all powerful and that He can do anything. And He promises to strengthen us and uphold us with His righteous right hand. And that’s one I’ve memorized and repeated over and over.
Annie Mendrala (18:48.61)
Yeah, and that was so good because that’s in the context of Israel. There are all these nations where there’s just war and nations constantly coming against them, the enemies, and they’re going into exile and there’s just chaos in the political climate around them, which is so true for us. You know, we all tend to look at human governments for our peace and security and God’s saying, “No, no, just come to Me. Come to Me.”
Candace Nassar (19:04.408)
Mm. That’s interesting.
Candace Nassar (19:15.384)
Mmm. So good.
Annie Mendrala (19:17.294)
I love Isaiah. Gosh, that’s a good one. I also love to memorize this too. 2 Timothy 1 7, “For God’s not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.” And I just love that. When fear comes, I think, “No, no, God’s not given us a spirit of fear. That’s a spirit from the enemy.” Get rid of that.
Candace Nassar (19:21.848)
Give me another one.
Annie Mendrala (19:46.23)
Spirit of fear is not from God. He’s given us a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind. I love that verse. It just kind of helps. It does that flip the lid like Lindsay talks to us about, right? It takes it back online, brings it back to our prefrontal cortex like, okay, nope, yeah.
Candace Nassar (20:04.172)
Yes, absolutely. Those are good, very good. And then for me, I also have another Old Testament verse. Joshua 1-9. “Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” it’s again, God has gone before us. He is with us. He will be with us after whatever it is we’re facing. We can get through it.
Annie Mendrala (20:14.202)
So.
Annie Mendrala (20:26.703)
Mm-hmm.
Annie Mendrala (20:33.294)
Yeah, I love Joshua because he was a warrior. It’s interesting how many leaders God called who were so reluctant to lead. And God’s like, “No, I chose you. You’re the one that’s going to do this.” And I think for us, it’s such a good application in our lives because God calls us to do things and the immediate response often is just fear of like, “Uh-oh, not me.” It goes back to that question in the beginning you asked, like where does fear come from? It comes from that feeling of I’m never gonna be able to meet the expectations I put on myself. Well now, God puts expectations on us and we have to trust that it’s Him that’s gonna accomplish the work, not me. I’m actually not gonna do it. And he’s telling me, “Annie, you’re not gonna do it. I’m gonna do it. Let’s go, let’s march into the promised land.” So I love Joshua.
Candace Nassar (21:27.817)
Yeah, so good. Well, let’s talk a little bit about our own fears that we have to lay at Jesus’s feet, even almost daily. So you go first.
Annie Mendrala (21:39.15)
Yeah. Right. I thought I was over my fears and then every day God reminds me I’m not. You know, I think my biggest fear that constantly arises is that I’m not seeing where my kids are hurting or I’m not seeing a struggle in their life. That I’m going about my own life doing my own thing and I’m missing
Candace Nassar (21:48.503)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (22:05.808)
the opportunities around me with my kids and as they move away, two of them are almost 2,000 miles away, it’s like, fear rises up. I start thinking, my gosh, I gotta check in, I gotta do this. And the Lord’s like, “Hold on a second. I’m the Holy Spirit. You’re their mom. But the fear is that I somehow have control of what’s going on in their lives if I’m aware of it.
Candace Nassar (22:30.941)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (22:32.78)
And so I constantly have that fear that I’m missing that.
Candace Nassar (22:36.886)
Yeah, that’s such a lie. Talk about lies.
Annie Mendrala (22:38.964)
Such a lie. Such a lie. And yet, I want to be intentional with them, especially as they get older and they become more independent. I want to check in. I mean, how do you do that with your kids? Like, because they’re all grown adults.
Candace Nassar (22:53.736)
Mm-hmm. So I literally ask a couple. Well, I pray for a day if I have this whole prayer calendar and I pray specifically for each one of my kids very deeply one day of the week and I’m always asking them how can I pray for you? Yeah, they’re always ready to give me what I can pray for. Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (23:01.901)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (23:09.988)
That’s so good. Writing this down.
Annie Mendrala (23:17.934)
Mm-hmm. That’s such good wisdom. Yeah, cuz that’s one thing God’s taught me. “Okay, Annie, you’re afraid, but really what you need to do is turn to Me and you need to be praying for your sons. You need to be praying.” And I like that. Ask them. That’s a good way to be intentional. How can I pray for you? I’m gonna do that today.
Candace Nassar (23:34.312)
How can I pray for you? Yep. Okay, love it. You’ll have to let me know how it goes. Yeah, and then sometimes they’ll tell me something and my response is, I’m gonna be afraid. But then, that Philippians 4 6, be anxious for nothing comes to mind. So just with prayer. Yeah, anything else that you want to share that you struggle laying at Jesus’s feet?
Annie Mendrala (23:45.136)
You
Annie Mendrala (23:53.22)
Mmm.
Annie Mendrala (23:56.848)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (24:03.64)
You know, sometimes I fear, especially since the more public platform God gives me to share His word and the gospel and to teach, one of the fears that comes into me often is that I’m going to misrepresent Christianity to someone or that I’m going to misrepresent the gospel or that my life is somehow, and really the cool thing is, especially as we’ve been doing MomQ for a while now,
Candace Nassar (24:18.104)
Mm.
Annie Mendrala (24:29.764)
God has really allowed me the opportunity to examine my heart and really start to pull out the trash that I do need to deal with because I’m imperfect and I’m always gonna be a work in progress. But I think that fear was a good fear that God put in me because he said, “Annie, you need to mature so that as you wanna pour out these things into others, you need to do your own work.”
And actually it’s kind of the theme always when I’m writing something, especially for moms, we got to do our own work first. The truth is we are messed up. I loved Julie last week when she’s like, you’re worried you’re going to mess up. Well, guess what? You are going to mess up. And I was like, good. There’s so much freedom.
Candace Nassar (25:10.228)
Yes. There’s freedom in that and there’s freedom in knowing, okay, we, and I guarantee, I mean I can name a hundred ways that I messed up and God redeemed it. So there’s hope. There’s always hope. I think one of the biggest things is that I’ve always had financial insecurity. And so, talk about how God, you know, tries to work in our life.
Annie Mendrala (25:20.666)
Yeah. Yeah. What about you? What are you afraid of?
Candace Nassar (25:39.85)
Unfortunately, or fortunately, many times we’ve been through unemployment and he’s trying to strengthen my muscles in that area of fear. And we find ourselves again in a state where my husband is in question because of some stuff with the company. you know. It’s just a constant thing where I just have to keep trusting God, keep looking at what He’s done in the past. He has taken care of me.
Annie Mendrala (25:44.826)
Bye.
Candace Nassar (26:09.28)
And our family every time, every time we’ve been through something. And I just, I can’t worry about the future because God knows the future and He has the future in His hands. I don’t have to worry. So right now I have a lot of peace. Praise God.
Annie Mendrala (26:26.394)
What was that quote about tracing the finger of God?
Candace Nassar (26:30.272)
Yeah, it’s from Lisa Turquist and it’s that we don’t have to, it’s how much more calming it is to trace the finger of God’s work in the past than to look forward to the future, something like that.
Annie Mendrala (26:46.53)
I think about that a lot. Actually. I visually see it. Like I see God’s fingerprint. I’m tracing. Here’s all the ways. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (26:53.881)
Yeah, that’s what it is, tracing his finger of faithfulness in the past and knowing that we don’t have to worry about the future. It’s much more calming.
Annie Mendrala (27:01.141)
Well, I’ve actually seen that in your life. As you were sharing a prayer request the other day, it was like, you just seem peaceful. God’s really grown you there. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (27:12.053)
That’s just all Him. It really is. It’s just surrender. It is just knowing.
Annie Mendrala (27:18.8)
Yeah, and I think that’s what our moms seem to know. You know, there’s so many places that I was fearful in the past that I really thought this is just how I am and I’m always going to be this way. But God can bring peace to places that we think it’s impossible and just keep returning to the truth because like us, our moms are going to have stories of God’s faithfulness in their own lives too.
Candace Nassar (27:31.084)
Yes.
Candace Nassar (27:35.721)
my gosh. Yes.
Candace Nassar (27:45.75)
Yeah, and you know, it took me, I’m getting old, and it’s taken me a long time to get here. And you know, and there’ll be other things. I also, you know, fear my children will have to suffer and you know, that’s just a big thing that I think.
Annie Mendrala (27:55.6)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (28:01.526)
I hate that one. I fear that one too. I’m like, anytime I see suffering.
Candace Nassar (28:05.238)
Yeah, I think all moms, all moms fear that. We hate that. And we try to rescue our kids, which actually is the worst thing. So we don’t have time to get off into that. Maybe we’ll do another podcast about that.
Annie Mendrala (28:16.964)
That’s a whole podcast. Because yeah, ultimately, we know that struggles are what grows their character, which is what we want.
Candace Nassar (28:23.21)
Yes, which we want. Well, let’s wrap it up. Let’s talk. How can, what would you say to encourage a mom today that is struggling with fear and anxiety? Something that you haven’t already said.
Annie Mendrala (28:27.216)
You know what? Right.
Annie Mendrala (28:41.793)
Yeah, just, you know, I’m such a doer and I have so many things in my head that I need to get connected to my heart. So what I know is true about fear and the Bible, somehow I have to practice that in my heart. So I would encourage moms to, recently I got this tool called How to Handle a Feeling, and I think I talked about it a little bit in the podcast but, as a review, it says, “Be aware of your feelings. It’s actually five A’s. Be aware of your feelings.”
Candace Nassar (29:07.564)
Wait, I’m gonna get you to stop for a second because my dog is going berserk. Hold on. Okay, he stopped. All right, let’s start that question over. Dang it, okay. Okay, so as we wrap up, how would you encourage a mom today, Annie, that is struggling with fear and anxiety in a way that you haven’t already?
Annie Mendrala (29:12.167)
it’s right here. Okay.
Annie Mendrala (29:17.634)
Okay.
Annie Mendrala (29:32.45)
Hmm. Well, I would say this. I’m you know, I’m such a doer and a knower that I need to get my knowledge to my head to be really my heart knowing, and so recently I’ve learned a tool. Because often I don’t like to feel feelings. They just feel really out of control, and I just try to push them away, but God’s like, “No no no no feelings are good. I gave them to you.” So what I would encourage moms to do is this tool. It’s 5 A’s that start with being aware of the feeling.
Be aware of the fear. And notice that it probably comes from your body. Like in your body, you might start feeling that. And then second is to give a name to that fear or to that feeling. Know fear is a lot of things. It’s uncertainty. There’s a lot of things, Google it. Then to acknowledge that it’s okay to have feelings, you know, and that.
But to also acknowledge where is that coming from? Is this real? Is this a perceived threat that’s real? Or is this bringing up something in the past that maybe I need to go back and work through with the Lord? Because Romans 12, one of my favorites, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The Bible says, take our thoughts captive, make them obedient to the Lord. Transformation happens in our minds to our hearts. Then, you know, take appropriate action. Don’t let fear keep you from the life that God’s called you to. And if you need to get support, I mean, fear could be true. A real thing that you need to work through with a professional, somebody who’s outside of the situation, a mentor, a wiser person, is always good to seek wise counsel. It’s amazing how God, just through talking about things, we are healed through just letting the light come into the darkness. As we isolate and keep these things to ourselves, they get more power, they get bigger.
Candace Nassar (31:30.836)
Gosh. Yeah, I mean, we want to stuff the feelings down and because in our society today, it’s like, “Be happy, you have to make everything perfect.” And you want to stuff those feelings down. But I love this because it’s helping you deal with those. It’s a feeling you have to deal with. And then you can go, you can process through it and get on the other side.
Annie Mendrala (31:35.439)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (31:51.044)
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (31:55.118)
Yeah, it’s not, you know, it’s like, I’ll get over it. It’s like, no, no, no, we’re not going to get over anything. Cause when you just go over it, you just leave the pile of trash right there. We’re going to get through it. We need to go through it. We need to work through it and come out the other side because more things are coming like you and I know. I mean, it doesn’t matter where we are in our motherhood, our motherhood journey. it’s amazing on the days I think I’m just done. The Lord’s like, “Ha ha, you still are their mother.”
Candace Nassar (32:03.778)
Hmm.
Candace Nassar (32:24.266)
It never ends. I hate to tell the young moms out there. It never ends-your fear for your kids. And that’s one of the reasons why we want to share all of this today, because we have to have tools to keep it from captivating us and making us less fruitful in the kingdom.
Annie Mendrala (32:25.505)
Never ends.
Yeah.
Annie Mendrala (32:44.336)
Well, and you mention prayer, I mean, I think that’s one of the biggest things God has taught me on my motherhood journey is that the greatest weapon I have is prayer. The greatest tool, the greatest loving thing I can do for my kids is to pray for them, because God has all the power. The more that they become independent from us, the more dependent we want them to be on God, and honestly, the more dependent I become on God.
Candace Nassar (33:09.686)
Yes, I love it. And then one thing I would also add is I think we might’ve alluded to it earlier, but I would encourage moms to memorize a verse that deals with fear. Maybe one of the ones we’ve mentioned today or another one, just Google it. Know verses that can combat fear and memorize it. And when those fearful thoughts come in, go through your process, acknowledge it, that sort of thing.
Annie Mendrala (33:20.431)
Mm.
Candace Nassar (33:38.71)
What can help us is we take those thoughts with those and replace it with that verse. And that can really make a big difference. It helps me a lot.
Annie Mendrala (33:49.488)
So true, because you can’t learn anything new when you’re in a fight or flight response. Only what is already embedded in your mind will come up. So that’s why early on, it’s important for us to memorize scripture, to teach our kids to memorize scripture, because the battle is coming for them as well. And so what we model is what they will take with them. So if you’re less motivated for yourself, be motivated for your children as well.
Candace Nassar (34:15.404)
Good, very good. Such a great conversation, Annie. I think we could continue, but we’re gonna go ahead and cut it off. And I’m just gonna ask you if you would close us in prayer.
Annie Mendrala (34:26.668)
Yes, I’d love to. Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit, we’re so grateful that we get to just have you dwell in us. God, we thank you that you are always present and that we don’t have to fear and that you knew that we would fear and that you provided a way out.
God, thank you for your Word. Thank you for those moms listening. God, we pray for their families and their marriages, for their children, God, that you would be glorified in all of our lives and that this message would just bring hope and encouragement to anyone listening today. We love you. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Candace Nassar (35:05.299)
Amen.
