Candace Nassar (00:00)
Well, welcome Greta. I’m so glad to have you on the show. Thank you so much for being here.
Greta Eskridge (00:05)
Thanks for having me. I’m really excited about our conversation today.
Candace Nassar (00:08)
Yeah, it’s gonna be so good. Something that I’m really passionate about and I know you are too. you’ve built such a beautiful message around family connection through adventure. I’d love for our listeners to get to know you a bit. So if you could tell us about yourself and how this passion for adventure first took root in your family.
Greta Eskridge (00:29)
Okay, well I am a mom to four. have, let’s see, what are their ages? Two are young adults, so I have two sons that are 21 and 19, and then my daughter is 17, and our youngest is 14. So we’re a house full of teens and young adults, and I homeschool all of our kids, so we get to spend a lot of time together in their growing up years, and some of the most precious times of my life.
And in addition to raising our kids, homeschooling, I also have been married to my husband, Aaron, for almost 30 years. And I have in the last, I don’t know, 10 years or so pursued writing and speaking. And so I’m an author of three books and I speak around the country on the topic of really cultivating connection, helping families pursue connection.
And one of the ways that we have done that as a family and the ways that I encourage other parents to do that is through adventure. And the reason for that actually started when my kids were all really little.
They were, I had three under five and I just felt myself as this mom of young kids sort of feeling sometimes like the walls were closing in on me and I had lost, really, my joy in motherhood and my joy in connection because it felt easier to focus on my to-do list and making sure the kids stayed on schedule for naps and we swept up the crumbs and put away the toys. But the joy in motherhood and really my joy in them and connecting with them felt like it was fading. And so I recognized in myself, I needed to purposely pursue connection with them.
And for me, that came in the form of getting outside of our house and out of our routine for at least a little bit of a little chunk of time. you know, going outside, going to the library, going to the park, going to a nature trail and just spending focused, intentional time with them. And from those little tiny adventures grew just kind of this philosophy of let’s connect through adventure in all the different ways.
Greta Eskridge (02:46)
that we can do that. It’s big. It’s not just like, let’s all go on a trek to Iceland and climb a glacier. It’s more doable on a smaller scale. And so that’s how that passion began and it’s only grown since then.
Candace Nassar (02:46)
Right, yeah.
Candace Nassar (02:54)
That’s so cool. Yeah, you know, I was thinking of when I used to do similar things because I’m an extrovert and I was home with my kids and felt the same thing. And I homeschooled mine when they were young and I would want to just get out and go and do. And the joy in motherhood, so much of the joy in motherhood to me was watching them discover and learn when we would get out into those environments, you know, where there was adventure, like nature or just a museum and it was just such a joy. So I think I completely agree that that’s that’s a really good way to bring that back into your motherhood if that’s missing. So okay, so you wrote this book called adventuring together. And was there a moment or a season that you just realized I’ve got to write this book, I’ve got to put it all down and share this.
Greta Eskridge (03:45)
Yeah, it’s kind of a funny story because I had been writing on a blog for years. That’s actually how I started writing publicly. I have been a writer my whole life. I’ve always loved writing and wanted to write a book since I was a little girl. But I started with a blog when my daughter was a baby because I had, you know, remember scrapbooks? I had done scrapbooking, but I was like, okay, I have a…
Candace Nassar (04:07)
yeah.
Greta Eskridge (04:10)
a four-year-old, a two-year-old, and a newborn. I’m never scrambling again. How will I do that? But I discovered blogging and I was like, oh, I can write stories about my life and their childhood and put pictures in there. And my mom and my sister read it and it was great. But as I kept writing, I loved it more and more and more people were reading. And so that was kind of how I started writing these stories down.
and really just my way of thinking about connecting with kids and parenting. And when it came time to write the book, I had a couple of different ideas in mind, but I had this one blog post and I was working with a literary agent and she said, I think this blog post, was called Connecting with Your Kids on the Hiking Trail. She’s like, I feel like this is your heart. And she’s like, can you explore this idea more?
And I did, and I was like, I think we can turn it into a book. so from a blog post grew this idea for a book. And really it captures all those years of adventuring with my kids and connecting with them, intentionally building memories and doing a lot of it outside or like the library or like you said, museum, just simple places.
But the really funny part is that that book was published in 2020. That’s when it was slated to come out because the book process starts like two years before publication date. So I was starting to write it in 2018 and it was slated to release in July of 2020. the scramble that started happening around release date, because it was a book about adventuring, like going out to the world and everyone was staying home. And it felt like such a
Candace Nassar (05:31)
Right.
Candace Nassar (05:47)
Mmm.
Greta Eskridge (05:52)
crazy time to be promoting a book about adventuring and connecting through adventure. And like my publisher would say, can you write like an article about adventuring together in your home? was like, sure. Okay. I mean, I do have a chapter about adventuring through books and connecting through books. So you can do that at home together. But it’s turned out that, you know, of course 2020 was actually a real turning point.
Candace Nassar (06:07)
Yeah
Candace Nassar (06:12)
Yep, true.
Greta Eskridge (06:19)
for a lot of people recognizing how much disconnection screens were causing. And that is a huge part of my platform as well. Like how do kids and families spending so much time on screens, how does that create disconnection? And so I was able to really focus on that part of the message as well. And the book’s been out for five years and it’s still loved. Yes.
Candace Nassar (06:41)
That’s so cool. I love God’s timing, you know, and I mean, I know you’re in California, I’m in Texas, but during the COVID season, people, I mean,I live in Austin, there’s a lot of outdoor things. People were going outdoors. were finding ways to, mean, kayaks were selling out, you know, things like that. So I could see that it was actually a really good time to put that out, because people were looking for creative ideas. So.
Yeah, so neat, you talked about the emotional disconnection that comes from the modern lifestyle, screens, schedules. Can you share a little bit about that and what you think is the result of that and how you help families come out of that?
Greta Eskridge (07:08)
Yeah.
Greta Eskridge (07:24)
Yeah, I think about those early years of motherhood that I talked about and it wasn’t that my kids and I were on screens and disconnected, but there were other things that were causing disconnection, right? Like I said, that focus on my to-do list, like getting the kids down for their naps without fail. And I’m not saying throw a schedule out, but when the schedule becomes the master, then I’m losing focus on the connection.
I think that that is what has happened with screens for so many of us, right? The screens have become the master and that means like that’s the way we relax. That’s the way we soothe. Like if we’re stressed, if we’re tired, we’re anxious, the easiest thing is to get on and scroll. And that’s not just for adults or teens who are on social media. That’s even the case for little kids, right?
It’s a great, easy babysitter. It’s a good way to keep your kids quiet when you’re in the store, when you’re in the car, and you could be having conversations or looking out the window. It’s just so much easier to turn on the screens, right? And so I have found in my own life and my own parenting, and then in the thousands of parents I talk to, screens are becoming more and more the way we disconnect from each other, disconnect from relationships. And that can be in simple ways, like I said, you let your kids watch a screen in the car instead of engaging in conversation. Or it can be in more harmful ways, like all of the inappropriate and even dangerous content that kids can find online. Right. And that is hugely disconnecting because
Candace Nassar (08:58)
Mm-hmm.
Greta Eskridge (09:02)
It causes shame, causes fear, it causes hurt. And so whether we’re talking about something so simple as not talking to each other in the car or something much more dangerous like getting involved in inappropriate and dangerous content, we have to be aware of the disconnection screens and technology can cause. They are not the enemy. We don’t have to say we’re never using screens again, but we have to be really aware and we have to try to choose different.
Candace Nassar (09:29)
That’s absolutely, couldn’t agree more. So what are some signs that a family, I mean, that their pattern of busyness has kept them from connecting?
Greta Eskridge (09:39)
Well, I think they’re real easy to fall into and we’ve probably all done it at one time or another. And I think the example I gave of the car is a really perfect example because we get in the car, we are quickly running from one thing to another. if we’re like, know, the kids don’t want to be riding in the car again or everybody just puts in their earbuds, their AirPods, whatever.
They’re listening to their own music or they’re watching their own show or they’re on their own Kindle or they’re scrolling their social media and no one’s engaged with one another. The car is a great time actually for connection. When my kids were little and we were all listening to the same book together, I would purposely be like, we’re not all listening to our own books. We’re going to listen to a book together. It’s a community activity. It’s a connecting activity. And it was really like,
Candace Nassar (10:29)
Mm-hmm.
Greta Eskridge (10:31)
When they were little, it was easy because we were all listening to the same book. As they got older and they were interested in different things, and I had my youngest, maybe didn’t want to listen to the same book as the older kids, but we still would work hard to find a common ground where we’d something we could all listen to together. Or another example would be like, when you are eating a meal, like to actually sit down and eat a meal together and people aren’t on a screen, you’re not watching TV or a movie, you’re not answering emails, you’re just sitting at the table and having a meal together. And that could be breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It doesn’t have to be dinner. Just being able to be together without having screens there all the time, those are really important things to take note of and then try to say, we’re gonna carve out a little space that is screen free.
Candace Nassar (11:19)
So why would we want to do that? mean, I know the answer seems obvious, but let’s just talk for a minute about the benefits of putting down those things and making those hard choices sometimes to find that common thing to listen to or whatever. is, you’ve got, your kids are in adulthood now, mine are too. I know the benefit, but let’s talk about that for a minute.
Greta Eskridge (11:39)
Well, if we don’t create space and time to actually talk to each other about just the details of our day or something more significant, then we’re losing one of the most important parts of our humanity, really. And especially the important parts of having family relationships. We want to have space and time to just talk to each other, to share things with each other.
And I think as we’re raising kids, there are going to be times where you’re going to have to have important conversations and talk about challenging things that they’re dealing with themselves or their friends are dealing with.
You’re to have to have conversations, like for example, about that, you know, explicit content online. That’s a huge part of what I do, helping parents be able to have those conversations.
But if you haven’t created space to have challenging conversations, because you don’t even have space to have simple conversations, then who is your child going to come to when they have a problem, when they need help with something, when they just want a question answered? They’re going to go online. They’re going to look to Google or chat as their source of information, or they’re going to go to their friends. They’re not going to go to you. Not only do we need to spend intentional time connecting as a family and as friends, just as humanity as a whole, but especially as parents in our relationship with our children, we have to carve out space for conversations together so that when there is a problem, when something significant happens in their life, you are the person they know they can turn to because you’ve created a rhythm, a space and safety in having all kinds of conversations.
Candace Nassar (13:23)
Absolutely. And I think about, you know, just Deuteronomy 6, 4 through 7. I mean, the key parenting verse is, you know, we’re supposed to talk about God when we walk along the road, when we lie down, when we get up. And it’s a lot of talking. And if we’re going to disciple our kids, which that’s something MomQ is very passionate about, then, we have to build those relationships to a point where they, we, my kids now,
We’re friends, you know, we’ve moved into that. We are in a whole different role now as being a grandmother and that sort of thing. But, it is so precious to have these adult relationships and, it was a lot of sacrifice when they were young. So, let’s talk a little bit about, well, you’ve started talking about some of the practical tips. Let’s get into that a little bit more because we know that we need to be intentional. We’ve already established that.
Greta Eskridge (14:03)
Yes, I agree.
Candace Nassar (14:16)
You’ve given some really great small moments that can make a huge impact, like the five minutes of undistracted eye contact at bedtime or unplugged family walks. Can you share a few of your favorite examples or habits that have helped your family over the years?
Greta Eskridge (14:32)
Yeah, I think that idea of walking, whether it’s a walk through your neighborhood or something a little more substantial, going for a hike. But being outside, moving your body and being unplugged during that time, it’s such an easy doable thing. It generally costs little to no money, maybe some gas money.
And it’s just, easy. Most people can go for a walk of some kind, right? So one of my, my daughter loves to, to go walking with me, but she loves to go walking in different neighborhoods. So we’ll go to a different neighborhood so we can look at different houses and see different things. And it’s just like, it could be, you know, a neighborhood 10 minutes away, but it’s new, it’s different. And it’s so fun to
Mix it up. That is so simple. And on the walk, we’re talking sometimes just about surface things. What are we seeing around us right now? look at that bird. I love the way they’ve done their yard. But sometimes it can be deeper things because we’re just creating space for that, those conversations to happen. I think the shoulder to shoulder time that comes when you’re walking or hiking is just the perfect opportunity for having meaningful.
conversation time. And one of the benefits when you’re going a little farther afield, like when you’re going hiking, is there’s often no cell service or it’s spotty. And so it just forces you to be like, okay, we’re offline. Because I know it can be so easy to be like, well, I’m just going to take my phone so I can keep track of our miles. I mean, I’m like a big walker and I want to keep track of my miles. So you’re like, oh, well, I got to take my phone with me. But if you’re going out, like I said,
Candace Nassar (15:51)
Yeah.
Greta Eskridge (16:10)
out on a hiking trail, might have less cell service and that just is great. It forces you to be offline. So I think walking, hiking is one of our favorite ways to connect. Another one is through books. Like I mentioned, reading or listening to books in the car, because when you read books together as a family, it creates a common language, creates, like jokes and stories that are specific to your family.
And there is something about adventuring through a book. It might be that, you know, you’ve never gotten to travel to these other countries or places, but you’re doing it together through this story and reading books together, sharing the story, either reading it aloud or listening to it on audio, or even everybody’s reading it on their own. But then you come together to talk about it and you make it kind of a celebration. Like I’m going to make a special meal from the book or
We’re going to have tea and cookies while we talk about it, whatever it is, make it something a little bit special. And then it makes it more exciting to be there, more meaningful. reading books together and walking, those are two simple, doable, affordable things that everybody can engage in.
Candace Nassar (17:19)
So good, and we can call those adventures because it’s just out of our routine and creating connection. think about, we used to do read alouds when I was homeschooling my kids, and those are still some of the most precious memories for me. When we would crawl into a bed together, all three of us, and my husband traveled, so it would just be me reading these books, and we still talk sometimes about those memories in those books, so I love that. And you know, another thing that we used to do was
We all love music and singing and we would sing worship songs or country music or big country music family just at the top of our lungs together. good, fun stuff.
Greta Eskridge (17:56)
Yeah. There’s just so many things like you can even interview your kids and be like, what are fun things that you’d like to do as a family? What are small things? What are big things? Like small things like I really wish we could bake cupcakes more often, you know? And you’re like, okay, we need to bake together. It could be once a month, but like let’s intentionally plan for that. What’s something bigger that you have dreams of doing together as a family? Like I have one son that loves road trips and he’s like always saying like,
We need to go on a road trip. Like, okay, well, let’s plan that out and make that happen. So I think engaging your kids in what are adventures they would like to partake in, that’s a really powerful way to get them on board with this idea of connecting through adventure as well. And I always say that the goal of adventure is connection. So the vehicle…
is adventure, but your goal is connection. So you don’t have to get lost in the vehicle. Like, what is the adventure? Because really, your goal is connection. so the adventure isn’t the whole point. So if it doesn’t go perfectly, if it’s not just what you imagine an adventure is, don’t worry, because your goal ultimately is connection.
Candace Nassar (18:49)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (19:02)
that’s so good because I don’t know about you, but I’m a big, struggle with expectations sometimes. I’m sure there’s moms out there where we’re like, okay, we’re going to go on this adventure and we’re going to plan this. And then we get there and the kids are like, I don’t know. They got a bad attitude or somebody’s fighting or something like that. And, and then we think, well, this was a big failure. but really that’s, that’s not true. mean, working through conflict is an important part of connection as well and seeing how do we handle those situations and watching us model that? I mean, what do you think about that?
Greta Eskridge (19:36)
Yeah, I have a whole chapter in the book about misadventures and how I actually think misadventures are one of the greatest parts of connecting through adventure. Because just like you said, like you learn so many important skills when things don’t go according to plan. And it’s a great time for kids to see us model it, for us to work together as a family, for us to like say, you know, we need to stop and pray. And we even have a like a slogan or a saying in our family. It will make a great story later.
Because in the moment, sometimes you’re like, this stinks. Everything’s going wrong. But we’ll say to each other, it’s going to make a great story later. And every time it does. And we have some fabulous stories of misadventure. And they’re great. We laugh about them to this day. And they really bonded us, because there is something about things going wrong that you cling to each other. And that’s good. And it’s OK for things to go wrong. It doesn’t mean.
Candace Nassar (20:08)
you
Greta Eskridge (20:33)
The goal of connection is lost. It just means it went a little haywire on the way to that ultimate goal.
Candace Nassar (20:38)
my goodness, can you share one of those? I just would love to hear. Anything come to the top of your mind?
Greta Eskridge (20:42)
Yeah, I’m trying to think of, yes, I have quite a few. One that’s in the book that a lot of little kids that have listened to the book with their moms that they’ll tell me they love is we were going camping for the first time in Yosemite National Park as a family. And when we got there, we were tent camping, but it was glamoring. Glamming is what it’s called. Glamping. Thank you.
Candace Nassar (21:02)
Glamping. Yeah. Yeah.
Greta Eskridge (21:04)
But it really wasn’t like all it was was they had a tent for us and it had, you know, some cots in it instead of sleeping bags on the ground. But we didn’t have to set up our tent, which was nice because it was pouring rain. There was this massive, massive storm and it was a very cold storm cause it was like November. So, just a little higher elevation. It was already snowing and pouring down rain, thunder, lightning. We live in Southern California. We don’t really have very many storms like that ever.
So the kids were all a little bit like scared. And even I, when I woke up in the middle of the night, thunder like I’d never heard, because it’s echoing off the walls of, you know, the walls all around Yosemite, granite walls or cliffs and lightning coming down. Then it’s hailing. And I had to go to the bathroom. I couldn’t go to the bathroom because I was scared to go out of the tent because I was like, I’m going to get struck by lightning or float away. So.
Candace Nassar (21:45)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (21:53)
Yes.
Greta Eskridge (21:57)
I can’t believe I’m telling you this story, but it’s in my book for all to read. So there is, there actually happened to be in this glamping tent, a trash can. So I was like, well, I’m going to have to use the trash can to go to the bathroom. It’s the middle of the night. One of my kids hears me and he’s like, mom, what are you doing? And I said, I’m just peeing in the trash can and go back to sleep. And he’s like, what?
Candace Nassar (22:08)
I love it!
Greta Eskridge (22:17)
You’re peeing in the trash can. I’m like, have to just go back to sleep. So the next morning he wakes up and he’s like, I had a dream that mom was peeing in the trash can. I’m like, it wasn’t a dream. It was real. And they were all like grossed out, but also like thought that was pretty cool. And so it’s a great story. We all still laugh about the time mom was peeing in the trash can because we were stuck in the tent in a massive storm in Yosemite.
Candace Nassar (22:19)
Bye!
Candace Nassar (22:26)
my gosh.
Candace Nassar (22:41)
my gosh, that is so funny. love, thank you for sharing that. Cause you know, we all think that no one else has these situations. You know, I know, my goodness. You know, I think, okay, so I have one. remember we were living in San Diego and we, decided to take my three kids and they were a little bit older middle, one, think middle school, early high school. And then my youngest, we decided to go kayaking in La Jolla Cove. And it’s a beautiful spot.
Greta Eskridge (22:50)
That’s a pretty tame one too.
Greta Eskridge (23:07)
yeah, that’s beautiful.
Candace Nassar (23:09)
But before we did that, we decided, oh, let’s go have a big lunch before we go kayaking in La Jolla Cove. Not a good idea. That was not a good idea. I did not realize that, but I happen to be one that gets kind of seasick and I just didn’t think about how much the waves would bother me. And I started burping. People are going to be like, what in the world am I listening to?
Greta Eskridge (23:14)
Hmm
Greta Eskridge (23:18)
Oh, not a good idea.
Greta Eskridge (23:26)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (23:35
And I had eaten tuna fish and the kids were screwed. They were like, my son was yelling at me. was like, mom, you’ve got to stop. And we still laugh about that whole thing today. So there you go. And I remember some of La Jolla Cove, I will tell you. So, but great, great connecting time. Seriously. So.
Greta Eskridge (23:38)
my gosh.
Greta Eskridge (23:47)
I bet, I bet.
Greta Eskridge (23:55)
Yeah, it is. If you can’t laugh in the moment, you can laugh later and it’s going to bring you some joy.
Candace Nassar (24:01)
So good. And just, I just have so many memories of just things that we’ve done like that and how important it is. So, Well, thank you. This has been so great. Let’s take this a little bit spiritual and let’s say, you know, I started talking about earlier, discipling our kids, but how do you see adventure becoming a spiritual practice? Something that actually deepens our dependence on God as we parent and grow together.
Greta Eskridge (24:25)
Well, I mean, if we’re talking, like I said, about misadventure, that right there is the perfect opportunity for us to rely on God when our plans, we think we’re in control and our plans don’t go the way we plan them. That’s a perfect opportunity for us to come back to God and to take our kids into that moment. I mean, there have been times where I’ve been like, this is not going according to plan and I’m so frustrated or I feel overwhelmed and I will have to invite one of my kids be like, hey, can you pray right now? I need you to help remind me of who actually is in charge. And so I think like in Misadventures, that’s a great opportunity for us to point us back to the one who calms us and guides us when we feel like things are out of control.
But I also think one of the most powerful ways for our family to have experienced God in a different way than quiet times, going to church, worship music, is by spending a lot of time in nature. Because when we are outside and we’re experiencing creation, we get to know the creator. And so for us, we do love outdoor adventures. And it doesn’t mean that they’re hardcore and we’re going on 50 mile backpacking trips every weekend for our adventures. Sometimes the adventure that is outdoors is simply a walk in a nature center or a walk in the park or a hike in local mountains or at the beach. But when we’re outside and we’re experiencing creation, like I said, we get to know our creator. We see his power. We see his creativity. We see his care for animals, for us.
We get to know God’s loving and amazing ability of creating this beautiful world that we live in. And it is different than when we’re sitting in church or when we’re having quiet time. It’s just getting to know Him in a different way.
And so for us, it’s really a spiritual practice to get outside and to experience and notice nature. And that happens and it connects us. mean, my kids will tell you how many times we’re driving and I’m like, my gosh, look at the sunset. And we have to pull over and look at it or look at those fall leaves. They’re incredible. my gosh. Did you see the design on this little tiny bird’s egg that we found in this nest? Like stopping to notice and then point them always back to God in those moments. Like, look what he made. Wow. God created this sunset for us. Like that’s the part that I focus on is to always point them back to God and point myself to like, not to just admire the sunset, but to admire the one who made it for us.
Candace Nassar (27:08)
Absolutely. think of the words that were coming into my mind when you’re describing those moments was just the splendor and majesty of His creation and that we can access through the Holy Spirit as believers that we can access that power. That’s incredible. Just sharing those God moments with our kids. So good.
Greta Eskridge (27:23)
Yes, yeah.
Yeah. In the verse in Romans that talks about how the work of God’s hand in creating the world, we are without excuse to know Him and to know that there is a Creator and a God just by observing the world that He made and to invite our kids to know that truth that we get to see.
It is absolutely indisputable that there is a creator and we know that by seeing the world that he made. Like that’s an important thing for them to be able to understand as they grow in their faith. Like we are without excuse. God’s creation testifies who he is and that he exists. I want my kids to know that as well.
Candace Nassar (28:01)
No.
Candace Nassar (28:09)
Amen. Wow. Well, this has been such a life giving conversation and you’ve reminded us that connection doesn’t come from perfection. It comes from being present and curious and willing to step into adventure together. So I really appreciate your, your wisdom, Greta and your honesty, vulnerability, and I just wish you the best. It’s been great.
Greta Eskridge (28:31)
Thank you, Candice. I’m so glad to be here.
Candace Nassar (28:33)
Thank you.
