Before becoming a Mom, it seemed so simple. I would know exactly what to do and when, and my kids would always respect and obey me. These imaginary kids were complete angels. When I would see other kids in public acting out, I would acknowledge that would never be my kids. I was going to be better than that.
Then I had actual kids, and that fantasy came crashing down around me. Motherhood was hard, really hard. It was exhausting. I had no idea what I was doing. My kids absolutely acted out in public, a lot. I was ill-prepared for real Motherhood.
And somewhere amidst it all, I began to believe lies about myself, lies that God never spoke into being.
The enemy rarely starts with obvious deception.
More often, he whispers lies that sound almost true. Here are a few I believed-and the truths God used to set me free.
Lie #1: A Good Mom Never Struggles
This was the biggest one for me personally. I would convince myself that Motherhood was easy for everyone else. Everyone else knew what they were doing, and I was the exception. The comparison game is so easy to dive headfirst into, and grace is the last thing we tend to give ourselves as Mothers, even when we hand it out so freely to others.
I was ashamed that I always felt so overwhelmed and even hid it from others, afraid they would see how terrible of a Mom I was if they didn’t think I had it all together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
The truth: Even godly women struggled.
We see this in Sarah, who longed for a child and grew impatient waiting on God’s promise. We see it in Hannah, who poured out her anguish before the Lord in desperate prayer. We even see it in Elijah, a faithful servant of God, who became so overwhelmed that he asked God to take his life.
In each of these stories, we see the truth of Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Struggling doesn’t mean I’m a bad Mom, it means I’m human.
Lie #2: My Worth Depends on How Well My Children Are Doing
Oh, how often we place our worth on our children, or is that just me? Our value doesn’t come from how well (or not so well) our children are doing. So why do we seem to think it does?
The truth: Your identity is rooted in Christ, not your parenting performance.
Our responsibility is to faithfully steward the children God has entrusted to us. But our children are not extensions of us. They are individuals who will one day answer to God for their own choices. Galatians 1:10 reminds us that our goal is to please God, not man.
I am responsible for faithfulness, not outcomes.
Lie #3: I Am Failing My Children
How often do we tell ourselves this one? For me, it’s daily, sometimes even hourly. I’m so scared I’m doing everything wrong, and I’m going to mess them up. I stack mom guilt like a hoarder stacks their treasures. I second-guess every single decision I make, sometimes even days later.
The truth: God’s grace covers imperfect mothers.
In Isaiah 41:10, we are told not to fear, for God is with us. He will strengthen and help us.
The truth is that motherhood was never meant to rest solely on our shoulders. God invites us to walk this journey with Him. He offers wisdom when we don’t know what to do, strength when we’re exhausted, and grace when we fall short.
Our job is not to be perfect. Our job is to remain dependent on Him.
My children do not need a perfect mother. They need a mother who points them to a perfect Savior.
Freedom didn’t come when I became a better mother. Freedom came when I stopped measuring myself by standards God never gave me and started believing what He said instead.
Maybe you’ve believed some of these lies, too. If so, take heart. God’s truth is stronger than every accusation, every comparison, and every fear. His grace is sufficient for this season, and for you.
