It’s an all-too-familiar scene that plays out time and time again – the unseen moments of motherhood that no one warns you about. I have an idea for how the day will go. Or how the morning will go. Or even how the next few minutes will go. My kids have different ideas.
Here’s how the scene played out today.
I heard a tiny voice say, “Good morning, Mom.” I groaned. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I had been awake since 4:30 a.m., and I now stood in a peaceful kitchen, before the sunrise, preparing my coffee and looking forward to a few quiet minutes to read God’s Word, pray, and mentally get ready for the day. But my toddler had other ideas. His sweet voice was an intrusion in the stillness. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t demanding breakfast or asking me to play a game with him or asking for anything. He was just there, and the quiet had ended.
I felt the frustration bubbling up because I knew there would be no peaceful time in the Word that morning. (Yes, I definitely see the irony here! I really needed that quiet time!)
So then I had a choice. Anger? Patience? Grumpiness? Gentleness?
React or Respond
Mom life gives us hundreds of these moments every day. When expectations aren’t met, and plans change, there’s a decision to make—to react or respond. It’s the invisible battle that erupts in your head. As a godly mom, you know patience and kind words are the right response. But what comes out is sometimes less than gracious.
I think there’s a lot of sanctification happening in those unseen moments. There’s a lot of opportunity for God to refine our hearts and refocus our attention on him.
What Others See vs. What God Sees
My mom friends may see me at the park when I pull my son aside to stop him from hitting or taking a toy. They may witness the whispered conversations I have with him, where my nose is nearly touching his, gently correcting him and helping him learn how God wants us to treat one another.
They didn’t see the five times I lost my cool in front of my kids—and that was just today. Or the sarcasm tactic I used on my husband that morning.
Transformational Work
God is doing a lot of transformational work in those unseen moments when you’re trying to exercise patience. When you’re frustrated, and deciding what to say, when to say it, how to say it, or if you even should say it. Or that moment when I was interrupted in the kitchen and needed an attitude readjustment.
What’s my responsibility in these moments? If I’m aiming for the right response—finding just the right words that will motivate my kids to be on their best behavior—I will miss it at least half the time. Because I’m not God, and I don’t always know best.
No one sees this part of your parenting. Your children don’t see it. Your husband doesn’t even see it. But the Lord sees it. This familiar passage in Psalm 139:1–2 (ESV) says, “O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.”
While you’re trying to discern the right course of action in any one of the thousands of mom decisions you make every day, the Lord discerns your thoughts. You might be able to keep a smile on your face and hide your internal dialogue from the people around you, but the Lord sees it all. He doesn’t just see it; he’s guiding you through those moments.
He is with you in those moments when you’re deciding what you should speak or whether you should speak at all. He’s with you when you’re looking for the right words to encourage, correct, or train. When you need the wisdom to guide your children’s hearts toward a biblical worldview and keep your heart grounded in God’s faithfulness, all at the same time.
So, what’s our response in these moments? God’s Word says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5 ESV).
The Power You Already Have
In the hidden mom moments that no one sees, we have a hidden power too. Prayer. A direct line to our God who hears, sees, loves, and guides. Prayer is how God transforms us, refines our hearts, and refocuses our thoughts. Prayer is God pulling us aside in a whispered conversation, face to face, gently correcting us and reminding us of how he wants us to live in the world.
If you feel like you haven’t gotten anything else right in motherhood today, make it your aim to be a mom who prays:
To be a mom who goes before the Lord on behalf of your kids and your husband.
To speak to your heavenly Father about your frustrations before you speak them out loud to anyone else.
To seek his purpose in your parenting above your agenda.
To pray and ask the Lord for wisdom in every circumstance. Scripture says that he gives it generously.
Go ahead and do it right now. Carve out a few (hopefully quiet) minutes to sit with the Lord and pray.
You’re not alone in this journey.
Read more stories from moms who are learning to trust God, release control, and find freedom in their parenting.
About momQ
momQ is a nonprofit ministry that equips and encourages moms to follow God’s design for families through mentor-led small groups, biblical teaching, and intentional community. We believe motherhood is a powerful place of discipleship, and that God uses everyday rhythms to shape hearts for His Kingdom.
If you’re looking for support, encouragement, and practical tools as you seek to disciple your children and grow in your own faith, we invite you to learn more about momQ and connect with a community of moms walking this journey together.
