The other day, I tried something new. I confessed to God that I wasn’t a perfect mom.
The Subtle Lie of “Doing Everything Right”
Now I’m not a perfectionist. But deep down (if I’m honest with myself), I believed I did
everything right to raise spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually successful children.
And for the most part, I achieved that. At least from the outside looking in. My young
adult children are probably viewed as “success stories” in the world. They were
excellent students in school, they all have admirable jobs, and they follow Christ, or at
least they tell me they do. On the surface, they have what it takes to be the best version
of themselves.
When “Successful Kids” Still Leave You Wondering
And yet, as their mom, I know they have weaknesses. Their character and faith, which
matters the most to me, sometimes keeps me awake at night. If only I had more time
with them before they left for college and the big, wide world! How did I miss seeing
some of their shortcomings? I didn’t raise them to have the flaws that I know they have.
As they began their adult life, these questions pestered me.
Searching for a Formula for Christian Parenting
Becoming a mom and raising our kids was the single biggest joy of my life. I was a
patient mom, a present mom, an “all in” mom, and I was faithful. We rarely missed
church. I faithfully attended Bible Study and discussed what I was learning at home. We
practiced hospitality, gave generously, and encouraged the kids to “do their best”
academically.
I so badly wanted a formula for raising “good, Christian kids” and part of
me thought I was doing it.
It was a surprise and frustration to me when our kids grew up and turned out differently
than I imagined. In some ways they are better (certainly better than I was at their ages),
but in other ways, I feel that I missed the mark. I wonder what I did that caused the
imperfections I see. Some of them are not as mature in their faith as I expected them to
be at this stage in their lives. Some have done things that devastated me, and some
stubbornly cling to ideas that frustrate me.
The Weight of Constant Worry and Prayer
As they moved forward with their lives, I remained stuck on the spinning hamster wheel
of pleading prayers. “Please, God, help this one find Christian community! Help that
one’s heart catch up to her intellect, and give this one the right priorities in life.”
I begged God day after day to answer these prayers and wondered why He didn’t seem
to be responding.
The Moment I Finally Surrendered
Then one day I surrendered. I bowed my head and admitted my failures to the Lord. I
wasn’t a perfect parent. I tried my best, but what I was sure would produce young adults
with exemplary character and strong faith didn’t work. My parenting didn’t turn out the
way I expected.
Confession Changes Everything
I remember the day I confessed. I sat in my comfortable spot where I do my daily quiet
time and the sun felt warm on my face. I was deeply ashamed to admit my failure to the
Lord, and I subconsciously braced for his condemnation.
Instead, I felt His peace.
It Was Never My Job to Save Them
My best was never meant to produce salvation, or the perfect young adult. It was to steward
faithfully the skills God gave me to shepherd their little hearts, and I did that. It is the
Holy Spirit’s job to save and sanctify people, including my beloved kids. My pride told
me that I needed to do the Spirit’s job, too.
Freedom from Mom Guilt Starts Here
Ever since the day that I admitted my mistakes, I’ve been free. My relationship with God
has blossomed, my steps are lighter, and my prayers flow easier. All it took was
confession.
What Do You Need to Confess?
What do you need to confess to God? Do you struggle with impatience, or control, or
idleness, or perfection, or guilt? Will you take a moment and confess your shortcomings
to the Lord and simply admit you are less than you expect from yourself in that area?
Confession is good for the soul they say, but I can attest that confession frees your soul.
God doesn’t condemn. He comforts. He offers His grace and mercy and a chance to
renew and deepen your relationship with Him. It was always about Him and never about
you. And best of all, He makes up for what you lack.
Whatever mom guilt you are carrying, put it down! Whatever actions you are taking to
double down on fixing your faults-stop! Take a moment and confess this to the Lord.
Admit your flaws and ask him to help you. Not only will you be free of a burden He didn’t
ask you to bear, but you will also reap the benefits of a renewed relationship with the
Lord that will bring joy to your soul.
Don’t wait, do it now. And let us know how it helped.
You’re not alone in this journey.
Read more stories from moms who are learning to trust God, release control, and find freedom in their parenting.
About momQ
momQ is a nonprofit ministry that equips and encourages moms to follow God’s design for families through mentor-led small groups, biblical teaching, and intentional community. We believe motherhood is a powerful place of discipleship, and that God uses everyday rhythms to shape hearts for His Kingdom.
If you’re looking for support, encouragement, and practical tools as you seek to disciple your children and grow in your own faith, we invite you to learn more about momQ and connect with a community of moms walking this journey together.
