Many of us live buried in shame, though we may not always be willing to admit it, especially to others. At its core, shame makes us want to disappear while mercy invites us in. This is a tension we were never meant to live in. Let’s talk about why we fall into this trap and how to free ourselves from the muck.
Shame’s First Instinct Is to Hide
This happened from the very beginning. What was the first thing Adam and Eve did after sin entered the world? They hid from God (Genesis 3:8). This is where our battle with shame began. When sin entered. Shame is a result of sin; it isn’t from God. Shame doesn’t even look at our actions; it focuses on the self and leaves us feeling unworthy. Shame causes us to hide, to leave it in the dark. But when we listen and close it off, it gains even more control over us. Shame hates the light, and that is exactly who God is. Shame says that in our hiding, we can find protection, when it actually prolongs guilt.
We don’t typically run from God because we are afraid He doesn’t love us, our shame focuses on our thoughts of how disappointed He must be in us, and we turn away as a result. Healing begins from being seen and still knowing we are loved.
God’s First Response Is to Seek, Not Shame
While Adam and Eve were hiding in shame, God’s mercy came seeking them out. (Genesis 3:9) Because God finds us in our darkest places and draws us to Him anyway. We must give our shame over to truly experience God’s mercy and understand how He loves us amidst our feelings of shame. He covers us, just as He did with Adam and Eve when shame first entered the narrative. He does the same for you and me, but we must go to Him first.
God isn’t waiting around for us to get it all right. He meets us in our hiding places and draws us near. God covers us before we get ourselves cleaned up.
Shame Distorts God’s Character
Shame tells us God is someone He is not. Shame makes us feel God is harsh, that He is tired of us messing up again and again, and that he expects us to get it right every time. But God is merciful. If we look to Him, we see a very different picture than the one our shame paints. God’s never-ending mercy shows us He is compassionate, always patient, and is making a way for us to leave our shame behind. Shame is a liar because it comes from the father of lies. We must speak the truth to ourselves about who God is and what He can do, and turn away from ourselves and accept mercy instead.
Jesus Is the Full Picture of Mercy
We find mercy when we find Jesus. Jesus comes to us, the ashamed, the broken, the marginalized, the undone, even when we run. He sheds light on our darkness and sends it into hiding instead. He isn’t surprised or revolted by our shame. He steps in and restores us completely. You may be wondering how we can know this is true—the cross. The blood of Jesus Christ has already atoned for our worst moments. He knew everything we would do, every mistake, every shameful moment, every disappointment, and He still died on the cross, taking them all upon Himself to make a better way for you and for me.
There is no part of your story Jesus hasn’t already made clean.
Receiving Mercy Requires Vulnerability, Not Perfection
The hardest part of receiving mercy over shame? The vulnerability required. Shame convinces us we can fix it somehow. We can make up for our mistakes if we try hard enough. We can figure it out on our own. But this isn’t what God calls us to. He calls us to be vulnerable enough to come to Him, in our brokenness, and let Him be the one to fix it. If we wait until we get it all right, we’ll never get to Him. He isn’t asking us to do anything but trust Him with our broken pieces.
God is not asking you to stay hidden in shame.
He is calling you out of the darkness and into His light.
Not once you’ve figured everything out.
Not once you’ve cleaned yourself up.
But right now.
The very place you feel most tempted to hide is the place He wants to meet you.
So instead of turning away, take one small step toward Him.
Bring the shame with you if you have to, but don’t stay where you are.
Because mercy isn’t something you have to earn.
It’s something you’re already invited into.
Lord,
You see every hidden place in my heart, and still, You call me closer.
Help me lay down my shame and receive the mercy You freely give.
Teach me to trust Your love more than the lies that tell me to hide.
Draw me out of the darkness and into Your light.
Amen.
You’re not alone in this journey.
Read more stories from moms who are learning to trust God, release control, and find freedom in their parenting.
About momQ
momQ is a nonprofit ministry that equips and encourages moms to follow God’s design for families through mentor-led small groups, biblical teaching, and intentional community. We believe motherhood is a powerful place of discipleship, and that God uses everyday rhythms to shape hearts for His Kingdom.
If you’re looking for support, encouragement, and practical tools as you seek to disciple your children and grow in your own faith, we invite you to learn more about momQ and connect with a community of moms walking this journey together.
