Candace (00:00)
Well, good morning, Christy. Welcome to MomQ. We’re so excited that you’re here today with us. I’ve been really looking forward to this conversation. So welcome.
Christie Thomas (00:09)
Thanks so much for having me today.
Candace (00:12)
Yeah, we’re so, I’m so excited because our hearts are so aligned and we have so much to talk about. So why don’t you start by telling us about your years as a children’s ministry director, which was your background, and what did that season teach you about how kids actually experience their faith?
Christie Thomas (00:29)
I loved being a children’s ministry director. You know, there’s parts of any job that you don’t love, but, the recruiting in August I didn’t love so much, but I really loved working with the kids and creating curriculum for them and working with the volunteers and just being able to pour my life into discipling kids. But one of the things that I realized actually very early on is that even though we have a like a role to play as children’s ministries, most of
Candace (00:44)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (00:56)
A child’s faith is being developed at home. Kidman is really great for excitement and for teaching kids who aren’t getting it at home. And like there’s lots of great things about children’s ministry, but there is a really big difference in retention rates for kids. So one of the things that I learned was, you know, we’ve probably all heard this stat. Only one third of our kids are staying in the faith after, you know, after they graduate. That stat comes from a 2007 Life Way research study, and they discovered that more than two thirds of young adults who attended a Protestant church for at least a year in high school will stop attending church regularly for at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22. So it’s first of all it’s
That’s pretty specific, like if they’ve gone to church for one year and they’re gonna stop attending for maybe at least a year between the ages of 18 and 22. So it’s maybe not as dire as we think. But then there is this other study that was done by the National Study of Youth and Religion, and they just looked at families where the parents, you know, kind of walk the walk, talk the talk, consider their beliefs important, participated in their congregations, and of those kids, 82% were active in their faith as young adults.
Candace (01:37)
Mm, okay.
Christie Thomas (02:01)
So what I realized was that the one study was looking specifically at teens with spiritually active parents, and the LifeWay study was looking just at any young person who would attend a church regularly for at least a year as a teenager. And so the little equation that I like to think is that you have it take this 33% retention rate, and you add parents, and you get an 82% retention rate, which is way different and way more encouraging for families. Some of that I learned, maybe not the specific data while I was in children’s ministry, but I did see that impact happening while I was in children’s ministry.
Candace (02:20)
Mm.
Candace (02:33)
I bet you did. I’ve been involved with children’s ministry for many years as well as through momQ and helping moms disciple their kids and discipling my own kids. And absolutely it is key to do it at home. So was there a time that led you specifically something that happened that encouraged you to stop doing children’s ministry and start your little shoots deep roots ministry?
Christie Thomas (02:57)
it was a little bit circuitous. It wasn’t really intentional. It was something that was on my heart. One of the reasons that I resigned from my children’s ministry role is that I wanted to do more family discipleship. And it kind of just wasn’t room in the role, you know, with the hours that I had at the time. And they were like, nah, we kind of just want you to focus on children’s ministry. And so over a period of the next year or so there was a time of discernment and prayer. And my husband and I decided, okay, it was time for me to; to leave and to kind of branch out on my own and talk to the church about it.
We still actually go to the same church. This was eight years ago now, and we’re still attending the same church. So there was nothing bad about my leaving. I wasn’t like, poo on you, you know, I want to do family ministry and you don’t want me to do it. and some of that was also just I wanted to write more. So I wasn’t intending to build this thing that has kind of happened at this point. God kind of just led me, you know, from one step to the next, to the next, and just kept impressing this on my heart, the discipleship piece.
Candace (03:36)
Yeah.
Candace (03:43)
Mm.
Candace (03:50)
Mm.
Candace (03:57)
I love that. I mean, that’s just how God works, right? He knows the vision, we don’t. And we just say yes when we know He’s calling and we get to see it unfold. So very good. Yeah. And okay, so let’s talk about something I hear from moms constantly. And that is that they don’t think they’re equipped to disciple their kids at home. They’re fearful that they’ll mess it up. So what would you say? What does it look like?
to be equipped and why do you think moms are so fearful of this?
Christie Thomas (04:29)
And what does it look like to be equipped? I think it looks like just opening your hands up to God and saying, God, I don’t know how to do this. You are gonna have to help me And God is faithful to that.
But I would say like when we’re feeling unequipped, we’re actually saying a lot of different things. For some people they’re like, Well, I can’t answer my kids questions or I don’t know enough. You know, I didn’t grow up in a Christian school or somebody who didn’t grow up in a Christian home. Or for some people it’s just like I’m just not holy enough. I am not a good enough Christian to be able to share this stuff with my kid or I don’t have enough faith. So what could I say? Or don’t have the right experience. It’s really all just different aspects of imposter syndrome. And I think it grips the
Candace (04:56)
Mm. Mm.
Candace (05:07)
Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (05:09)
the capable, faithful parents the most because we know how much is at stake. So we’re like, my goodness. Hey, how sinful you are, right? And so it gives you more humility in some ways. So that’s actually a good thing. But the ones who don’t really care are the ones that aren’t really stressed about being not equipped. They’re like, I’m fine.
Candace (05:12)
Hmm.
Candace (05:23)
So true.
Candace (05:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (05:57.389)
So that’s why, you know, that feeling of being not equipped is probably more a feeling that you get if you actually care about this, right?
Candace (05:43)
Yeah. Which is exactly where God wants you to be because then we can be dependent on him, right? And what do you do in those moments when your kids ask you something and you don’t know how to answer it?
Christie Thomas (05:49)
Exactly.
Christie Thomas (05:55)
You pray say God, I do not know how to answer this. What do I do?
Candace (05:56)
Ha ha ha.
Candace (06:00)
Right. Yes. And we just would say, let’s go to the scripture and see, you know, or I’ll look it up or or whatever. yeah. And I think our kids get so much out of it when we’re real with them, authentic, that we don’t have to know everything, right? So very good. And so for those families that lean into discipling their kids, even imperfectly, what are you seeing?
Christie Thomas (06:05)
Mm-hmm. Right.
Christie Thomas (06:25)
Yeah, I would say that every family is doing this imperfectly. But yeah, I mean even the people who are just doing a little tiny bit. I have heard so many great stories from families, you know, from families at my church when we were teaching this at church and families at
Candace (06:29)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (07:06.136)
Online I heard about kids with learning disabilities who were memorizing and applying scriptures kind of against all odds, because their parents were just speaking the same one over them every night for years. And so they had it memorized and they applied it. And this child’s mom called me one day and was crying, like, look at listen to what happened. And you know, lots of kids who’ve been freed from nighttime fears because their parents maybe got into a habit of of praying like a nighttime blessing over them. Kids who were memorizing scripture and actually really enjoying it.
Candace (06:50)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (07:08)
It and not just doing it because you know they needed a prize or a grade. In my home, what I see happening is just this this more natural bent toward conversations about God and the Bible and prayer than I grew up with. So I grew up in a Christian home, but my parents were of that ilk that felt that they were not equipped enough, so they just brought us to church. And, you know, we like prayed at mealtimes, but that’s
Every once in a while, maybe I would get like a devotional book cut up tucked under my door or something. But we didn’t talk about this stuff. And so I see in my kids that that our our culture is different in our home. My kids will just bring up stuff, you remember that thing from the Bible? Or this reminds me of something like that, or or you know, if I pray with them, they’re not like, whoa, you know.
Candace (07:39)
Mm-hmm.
Candace (07:54)
Right, right.
Christie Thomas (07:55)
So it’s just it has changed the culture of our family, even you know, in seasons when we’re not doing a lot of like outwardly spiritual stuff at home. Like in the summer, as much as I want to when I try, our morning Bible study drops. Nobody’s up at the same time. And so even though it looks like we’re not really doing anything, you know that the culture of the family is still there. So that’s what I’m seeing in families when we just disciple our kids at home no matter how imperfectly.
Candace (08:21)
So Christy, one thing I was thinking about is how children’s ministry, so you know, a lot of parents rely on children’s ministry, like we’re we’re saying, because they’re fearful of doing it themselves. How can children’s ministry at the church and the parents work together in all of this?
Christie Thomas (08:33)
Like I said, I think children’s ministry has a fantastic role to play in a child’s development. We’re really good at like hype, really good at things that are age appropriate, and one of the biggest things with discipleship is really that it’s relational, right? So when you have other people pouring into your children and your children see that, my my teenage
Teenage Sunday school teacher, she doesn’t know all the answers either, but she loves me and she likes me and she talks to me. Or and she also loves Jesus and she talks to Jesus and she talks about how that impacts her life. That it makes a huge difference on kids. So it’s not either or, it’s not children’s ministry or parents, it’s us together. So yes, they need to see it at home because that’s where we develop that culture of turning to God when we need help and turning to scripture and those.
Candace (09:10)
Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (09:22)
Habits are formed in our daily lives. But yes, we also need the church, just like you and I need to go and be in church and be with other believers because that reinforces our faith and encourages us and builds us up. That’s what children’s ministry is great for. Seeing other kids, you know, asking questions. So, this year I was teaching a grade five-six class once a month, and we had quite a few kids who were like homeschooled and you know, really deeply faithful parents.
And then I had this one kid who was brought to church. She was also homeschooled actually, but brought to church by her grandparents. And she would ask these questions that I was like, obviously you don’t know very much about the Bible. And I loved her questions because it made the other kids go, huh?
Candace (10:06)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (10:09)
I never thought of asking that. Or sometimes they’re like, wait, I know the answer to that. And it was really delightful just to kind of have that mix in the classroom. And I think it is like iron sharpens iron, right? We grow in our faith when we talk to other people about it. Not just when we hear mom and dad talk about it, although, as I said, that’s super important. But going to church also is gonna help us, our kids grow in that as well.
Candace (10:20)
Yeah.
Candace (10:32)
Right. And you’re talking about the community that they’re building in that Sunday school class, right? And that will carry over hopefully into youth group. And we want to encourage them, you know, that to continue all the way through so they can own their faith. And that whole partnership between the church and the parents is really beautiful. So thank you for sharing that.
So we know this matters so much in the home. What are some of the little faith habits that we can factor into our busy day?
Christie Thomas (11:02)
For sure. Well, if your listeners are interested, I have something called the Start Little Guide on my website, which has like six different ideas. And then in my book, there’s like whole lists of little tiny ideas that people could try that people that I know have tried, ideas I’ve brainstormed, ideas I’ve gleaned off other people on the internet, that are all just these tiny little ideas. So one of the ones that I teach parents first is just praying a Bible verse over your child at bed bedtime. So something like the priestly blessing. May the Lord bless you and keep
Candace (11:27)
Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (11:32)
you, may make his face shine upon you, be gracious to you, may turn his face towards you and give you peace. It’s so easy to get into your bedtime routine. Your kids are gonna ask about it. You know, you do it for two days and they’re like gonna be like, where’s my blessing? I need this. or you could do something like pray together on the way to school. Even if you don’t, you know, maybe you’re not super comfortable praying out loud, you could pray the Lord’s Prayer together on the way to school.
You could just read one Bible verse at dinner time. Some of us grew up with like reading the Bible at dinner time and a lot of parents are like, that was so boring. So, but what if you just read one verse?
Candace (11:56)
That sounds great.
Christie Thomas (12:07)
One verse and then that was it or maybe you memorize something. You could turn on Christian music in the background. That’s a little habit that’s actually quite easy and kind of has this lingering effect. You c I talked to a family once, she was memorizing scripture while waiting for the bus. Parents who pray for their kids as they’re putting their backpacks on. And nobody’s doing all of these things. They’re all just doing a couple of these things, but what it’s doing is, helping them get something real and faithful in their life.
That helps our kids kind of point back to God.
Candace (12:38)
Mm-hmm. And we can make it fun. Let’s talk about some fun ideas that you have that like, not boring.
Christie Thomas (12:40)
Yeah.
Christie Thomas (12:44)
Ha ha ha.
Well, I mean a lot of these things are not inherently fun, and you don’t have to be like the fun parent to make discipleship fun. One of the things I learned while I was researching habits is that the way that habits become habits in our brain is first of all, we do them regularly, but it’s not just that we do them regularly, it’s that they give us kind of this like dopamine spike in our brain. So we want to end whatever we’re doing by making ourselves feel good. So what makes your kids feel good? Is it a high five? Is it a hug?
is it just a smile and saying, you know, thanks for doing that with me? Thanks for taking the time. What is it that makes that kind of fun for your family? So even the Lord’s Prayer, not inherently fun, but at the end of it, if you give your kid a big hug, that’s gonna make that habit stick and it’s gonna bring joy to you. And of course, there are ways to actually make it like fun, fun in the traditional way, like
my kids and I used to do a lot of acting out of Bible stories. We haven’t done that in a few years. As they’re getting older, my kids are twelve, fifteen, and seventeen now. So we we don’t tend to act out Bible stories anymore. But when they were little, this is what we would often do. And something that I encourage, I have an interactive preschool devotional called My First Devotional. And that’s almost every week at some point during the week I say like, just act it out. Now you could do it with your body, you could do it with little stuffed animals or, you know, like little people toys or
Candace (13:42)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (14:07)
you could draw it. There’s lots of different ways that you can integrate that fun kid friendliness into your discipleship. It just might take getting a little bit out of your comfort zone.
Candace (14:48)
Mm-hmm. I love that. I’m not really creative with ideas. And so I would totally buy your book because I would need something to show me. Okay, try this and this and this. And then I can make that work. So thank you. So tell us about Quinn’s Promise Rock and Quinn says goodbye. What made you want to teach faith through the store through that story for your youngest readers?
Christie Thomas (14:39)
It wasn’t s super intentional actually. Quince promised rock
I had a friend, an online friend, that had told this story in an email or on social media or something about her kindergarten son who was really afraid to go to kindergarten. So she had given him a rock to put in his pocket. And she said, Every time you touch this rock, remember that God is with you. And I saw that in the morning. I was kind of stewing it on and all morning as I went to our women’s Bible study. I came home, I threw my kids into nap time, and I was like, I have a story. I’m gonna write this down. So I wrote it down as a story for her. I sent it to her, and she’s actually a writer and she’s like, we have to get this published. So that kind of came out of that.
And then Quin says goodbye came out of kind of some experiences in my own life. My sister was killed in a car accident when she was 18 and I was 22. So some of the things that I learned about God and his presence are in Quin says goodbye. It’s not really a sad book at all. well, a little bit. She
Candace (15:14)
Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (15:36)
nurses a little firefly back to health and then she’s like, We’re gonna be friends forever. And then one day the firefly goes home and I was just like, No, why didn’t God let that bad thing happen? And so some of the things I learned is that sometimes… sometimes bad things do happen, but God is with us in all those things. So those are some of the things that I learned during that really hard period in my life. And things to a kid, but
Candace (15:57)
Mm.
Christie Thomas (15:58)
I felt like there are ways sometimes you could just tell those they experience it better through a story. So there was a mom on my launch team whose husband had been in jail for a couple of years and she had two little boys and she said she started reading Quinn says goodbye with one of her boys who had never cried about this. And suddenly he started crying because suddenly those emotions were like accessible in a different way because he was like crying for Quinn, but he was actually crying
Candace (16:06)
Yes.
Christie Thomas (16:28)
For his dad and kind of processing that in a different way.
Candace (16:32)
What I see and what I’m hearing is that it’s making faith real and and tangible and palatable for the for the kids. And that’s so they’re just more resources. And I know one of the things that you’re big about is gentleness in parenting and just modeling Christ. Can you share a little bit about that? because I hear that coming through in your stories. And so what would you say to a parent
Christie Thomas (16:36)
Yeah.
Candace (16:55)
what’s the difference between biblical and gentle parenting or how would you answer that?
Christie Thomas (16:59)
Hm, right. Well I would say that gentle parenting has this very specific cultural meaning right now and it’s all about like, you know, y understanding your child’s emotions and you know, we kinda make fun of it in a lot of ways. There are some good things about it though, and it that’s
Empathizing with your child and understanding that there’s a reason that they’re feeling like this. But I would say the difference between, you know, secular gentle parenting and parenting and the gentleness of Christ is that parenting and the gentleness of Christ is designed to lead us into growth and change and repentance. So Christ is very gentle with us. God is so gentle with us. He could have just taken us out, started again with a new planet. You know, he kind of did that once with the ark. And he said, No, never again. I’m never gonna do that again. Next time.
I’m gonna take that on myself. And so that’s what gentleness is. It’s a very strong person withholding their power for the sake of the weak. And so that’s as parents, if we can choose to withhold our power and certain it, you know, not all the time, right? We still have to discipline and stuff, right? But but to withhold our anger, to not lash out for the sake of our children who are weak, who are growing, who are
Candace (17:59)
Right.
Christie Thomas (18:09)
You know, they’re immature, then we become the kind of parents who reflect Christ in a much better way. If we’re constantly lashing out against our children in anger, you know, which is a really common thing with parenting. With I’ve talked to so many moms, and I’ve been one myself, where I’m like, I was never an angry person until I had children, never yelled at anybody until I found myself yelling at a one-year-old. Right?
So when we can understand the gentleness that God gives us and the patience that he gives us and the kindness he gives us and truly start to live in that, then we can extend that to our children more and they they can learn to trust us and we can guide them into repentance in a much deeper and more effective way and point them to Christ, who is the ultimate gentle answer who turns away wrath.
Candace (18:56)
And that is discipleship, right? We’re we want to reach their hearts and we’re not going to do it perfectly, but as much as possible when we mess up, we apologize. And so I’m thinking about just living out the fruit again. It’s more like the gentleness is the fruit of the spirit. And as we are modeling Christ and living out that fruit and trying, you know, to do that, we are.
Christie Thomas (18:59)
Right.
Candace (19:21)
continuing to show that faith can that faith is real. Do you have an example of of that in your own life by any chance that you can share with us? I’m just put you on I just put you on the spot.
Christie Thomas (19:32)
Well, yeah, right? Okay, well so there was a time recently where one of my boys was struggling with this this one thing and he just felt like he could not stop doing it and it was very frustrating for us as parents, like incredibly frustrated. We’re like, Why are you doing this again? He’s like, I just can’t stop. And so, you know, the temptation is like, Stop, I’m just gonna fix this. I’m just gonna come in here blasting and I’m gonna s fix this problem for you and it you’re you’re never gonna have this temptation again because it’s gonna be completely removed from your life. and some of that obviously still needs to happen.
But I had experienced a time where I really felt like I was doing the same thing where I just kept doing the same thing over and over again. I was like Paul in Romans where he he says, Why do I keep doing what I don’t want to do? And I I don’t do what I wanna do.
And so I in this moment with my son, I was like, okay, I could yell at you for doing this again Or I went and grabbed my Bible. actually I grabbed his Bible, so he has a New Living Translation. I grabbed it and I was like, you know, there’s verses about this in the Bible and so I started reading the last half of Romans seven with him and
And it was really moving for me too, because I was like, right, like there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. And so at Romans seven, Romans eight, I just kept reading and talking and we had this like really sweet moment where his heart was actually like brought to a place of repentance. you know, and it maybe it’s not gonna magically change this temptation, but it was it was that heart moment that we both needed.
And so that was one of those moments where reacting in gentleness and understanding was so much better than just me like, you know, yelling at him for doing the same thing again.
Candace (21:11)
So good. I love that. That’s a beautiful story. And really that’s what Christ does with us when we can sit with him and read scripture and repent and restore the relationship. So that’s exactly living it out. And I really appreciate you sharing that. Is it too late for a mom who’s already blown it?
Christie Thomas (21:32)
Never, never. The verse that comes to mind is the one from Second Corinthians where Paul says, My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness. There is never, there is never anybody too far gone for Christ to redeem.
His grace is sufficient for you and he loves to work through weak people, through people who feel like it’s too late or people feel like they’ve blown it. That’s when his power is the most magnified. Because then you think, well, it’s obviously not me. This is definitely God working in us. He delights in working through us weak, inefficient, broken clay pots.
Candace (22:08)
Mm-hmm. And talk about it with your kids because when they know that we can be honest about our weaknesses, they’ll be honest as well. And it’s, you know, just I again, iron sharpens iron. We’re raising kingdom warriors, right? That’s really the point. And so all of this discipleship in the in the rhythms that you’re talking about, the habits, living out our faith in front of them.
Christie Thomas (22:11)
Hm.
Candace (22:33)
Even how we discipline and interact with them, it’s it’s all part of it, right? Yeah. So what’s one thing, one small thing a mom could try this week to start leading her kids spiritually with more confidence?
Christie Thomas (22:49)
Sure, okay, if you wanted to start with one thing, I’m not gonna give you a prescription, but I’m gonna give you a question to ask yourself. So say to yourself, like what’s one moment in my day when I’m already with my kids regularly that I could point my kids back to God? So maybe it’s while you’re brushing their teeth.
Maybe it’s bath time if you have a really young kid. Maybe it’s the drive home from school. Maybe it’s breakfast time. There is going to be a time in your day that’s regular that you’re already with your kids, that you could point them back to God. And then so just pick one of those times. Don’t try and do 17 of them. That’s when you get overwhelmed. And just ask God, give me an idea on how to point my family back to him in that way.
Candace (22:31)
Mm-hmm.
Christie Thomas (23:26)
back to you in that moment. So I heard this story once where someone’s like, Surely teeth brushing time, you know, cannot be redeemed by God. And the woman who was teaching was like, Well, why don’t you ask God about that? And then a little while later this family came back and we’re like, Well, would you know that we got this idea to post Bible verses on sticky notes on our bathroom mirror? And we started just reading those over our kids while we brushed their teeth. And the older ones would just read it to themselves.
So, like God can redeem any moment. So just pick a moment when you’re with your kids and say, God, is there something that you would have me do? Maybe it’s reading scripture or devotional, or maybe it’s a prayer, or maybe it’s turning on worship music or whatever it would be. you could be pretty creative with that based on what your family is like and what their interests are. And so pick a time and pick a thing and pair them up. Try it for a week and see what happens.
Candace (23:55)
So good.
Candace (24:09)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Candace (24:16)
Yeah.
Candace (24:22)
Perfect. Love it. So I know you’re an award-winning author, Christy. And I just really appreciate your time today. But I wanted to just visit a little bit, what about your adult books? Because where what is the heart behind those? I know you just recently published one, is that correct?
Christie Thomas (24:40)
Yeah, so I have a devotional on gentleness for women. So not just for moms, but although it’s super appropriate for moms too. And it’s just a thirty day devotional that talks through and where we look at first of all the gentleness of God toward us and then we look at the gent the way that Jesus interacted with the people around him in gentleness and then what that really means for our lives online, in our families, with our coworkers and with ourselves as well. So that’s what that’s the most recent one. I really only have like two books for adults. It’s that one and then the little habits big faith one.
Candace (25:09)
Mm.
Candace (25:13)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, I’m sure we can all use more gentleness in our life. So that sounds really good. So, where can our listeners connect with you or find your resources?
Christie Thomas (25:19)
Me too.
Christie Thomas (18:57.878)
Well, the easiest place is just to go to my website. It’s Little ShootSdeeproots.com. I’m also on Instagram as at Little Shoots Deep Roots. And as of recently, I’m also now on TikTok at Little Shoots Deep Roots. You can find me on Facebook too, but I don’t post very much on there, so don’t bother.
Candace (25:37)
boy.
Candace (25:42)
Well, that’s great. I know that our listeners have gotten, I pray that they’ve gotten a lot out of today. I think it is just super practical and and good reminders. So thank you so much for being with us and I wish you all the best with all of your endeavors. And I hope to see you again soon.
Christie Thomas (25:59)
Thank you. Thanks so much, Candace.
