Finding Margin in the Everyday
As summer break wraps up and a new school year starts, I’m looking forward to getting back into a routine. I love summer. I love the energy the kids bring to the house during the day. I love the fun things summer has to offer. But we can also easily find ourselves overloaded with activities.
Plus, with more kids in the house for more hours during the day, the number of times I hear the word “mom” increases exponentially in the summer.
Mom. Momma. Mommy. I have kids of various ages and stages, but some form of “mom” rings out through my house all day, every day.
It’s a gift and it’s humbling. At times, it also feels like a distraction. Or even an interruption. Sometimes motherhood can feel like managing a long series of interruptions. As soon as you focus on one task or one child, something or someone else needs your attention. A few weeks ago, we came home from the beach. I was unpacking and trying to tackle the backlog of laundry when I discovered my toddler had a fever of 103. A few minutes later, as I tried to call our pediatrician while also getting medicine, at that moment my children alerted me to the fact that there was a snake in the house. Can we just tackle one thing at a time, please?!
As a family, we have worked to create intentional margin in our lives. We’ve had some success with being less “planned,” but it seems the calendar still fills up.
Things just don’t always go according to schedule. But I think we can still find margin in the middle of the busy every day. I think we can learn to make space for interruptions. They’re unpredictable. They’re not color-coded on our calendars. They’re not on our to-do list. But they’re an inevitable part of our day, every day. And they just might turn into sweet moments of ministry or a special memory with your kids.
When I read the gospels, I’m encouraged to see that Jesus was often interrupted while He was going about His day-to-day Kingdom business. Matthew 9 records at least five interruptions that all seem to happen in a short amount of time.
I find Jesus to be incredibly relatable to the experience of motherhood in this chapter. Jesus is doing His Father’s work, and in the span of a few verses, He has people join Him while He’s relaxing at the dinner table, He has a man interrupt Him while He’s talking, He has a woman tug on His clothes because she’s bleeding, and He has multiple people following Him around in need of help. This is a day in the life of a mom, right?
I love Jesus’ response to all these interruptions. In each case, He stopped what He was doing to meet a need.
First, in Matthew 9:10, Jesus was reclining at a table. While He was there, tax collectors and sinners came to eat with Him. We don’t know if they were invited. We don’t know if this is how Jesus planned on having His meal. But He made space for the people who wanted to be in His presence and share a meal with Him. He wasn’t too busy for them.
The religious leaders who witnessed Jesus’ hospitality complained, as they often did. They didn’t approve of Jesus eating with people who they looked down on. Jesus responded:
“It is not those who are well who need a doctor, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners.”
Matthew 9:12-13 CSB
Jesus let the religious leaders know that their outward deeds and rituals weren’t as important as their heart posture. Jesus had a heart of compassion for those in need—those who needed Him. And meeting those needs in the moment was a top priority for Him. Jesus’ time on Earth was precious and short, but He made time for people. He made space for them to come to His table, join Him in conversation, and enjoy His presence.
After this scene at the table, in Matthew 9:18-22, Jesus was speaking with His disciples and encountered a series of interruptions—at least two of which seem to happen simultaneously. While Jesus was speaking, “suddenly” a man came and knelt in front of Jesus saying that his daughter had just died. He wanted Jesus to go with him and bring her back to life. Jesus followed the man, and the Scripture says, “just then,” a woman came up behind Him and touched His robe. She also wanted to be healed. “Jesus turned to her and saw her,” (Matt. 9:22). I love that! He didn’t brush her off. He turned His attention toward her.
After these encounters, Jesus was moving to His next destination and was followed by two blind men. They were bold enough to follow Him into someone’s house! Again, Jesus took the time to heal the two men. Just as Jesus was leaving that scene, a demon-possessed man was brought to Him and Jesus stopped and cast out the demon.
People went to Jesus expecting to be received, loved, and cared for.
Jesus responded in these moments with compassion. He stopped and extended love and care. He moved physically to be with the people who came to Him. He made Himself available to respond to their needs.
When he saw the crowds, he felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dejected, like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:36 CSB
When my kids come to me (often at inopportune moments), sometimes they want something specific—help with homework or a snack. Sometimes they are letting me know about an injury or an impending disaster—the toilet is about to overflow or little brother is on top of the dining room table. Sometimes they want to show me something—a drawing or that they cleaned their room without being asked.
But do you know what they always want? They want me. They want my attention, the resources that I have, my time, or just my presence.
I don’t want to be too busy to give them the time and energy they need. Jesus made space for people to come to Him. His mind and heart were ready for those inevitable interruptions. And the Bible shows us that He specifically made space for children:
Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Leave the little children alone, and don’t try to keep them from coming to me, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:13-14
Yes, I have important things to do. School activities, work, exercising, cooking, planning birthday parties, and scheduling appointments. But my kids are the ministry God has given me. My schedule—good, family-focused, or otherwise—is just a framework for how I would prefer the day to go. When the schedule gets thrown out the window and we still find time for each other, those moments when my kids feel seen and loved.
So how can we be more like Jesus for our kids? Here are a few ideas.
1. Take something off your to-do list. What is one thing you can scratch off your list this week or even permanently? Recently, I changed my meal planning strategy to cook less and eat more leftovers or random things we could find in the pantry. Not only did it save time during planning, but it saved cooking and clean-up time in the evenings and gave us more time as a family to take walks, ride bikes, or play games.
2. Be available mentally, emotionally, and physically. Have the heart posture of Jesus. Even when you’re busy—checking emails, doing laundry, or organizing carpools—prepare your heart and mind for interruptions. If you need to sit down and knock out a few items from your to-do list, let your kids know they can still come to you if they need you. Our time with our kids in our house is short and precious. I want to make time for them to come to the table, sit with me, share their thoughts with me, and for us to enjoy each other’s presence.
3. Say yes. Just say yes. You can’t give in to every whim and request, nor should you. But practice saying yes to your kids more often. Say yes to helping them find a missing sock or looking at the fifteenth drawing they’ve shown you that day. Say yes to the library, the pool, or the playground. Put down your to-do list and say yes to a spontaneous trip to get an ice cream cone. These will be cherished memories!
Pick one or try all three and make space for precious memories with your kids!
We are busy and distracted in our culture. We hurry and worry just like Martha did in Luke 10:38-42. But, when she complained to him, He told her that only one thing is necessary. Julie Whitehurst, a MomQ leader and mentor mom, teaches on the importance of filling our cup with the source of life – Jesus, and choosing the one who is better, just as Mary did. Please listen to the Spotify episode below (Are You a Martha or a Mary?) and learn even more practical ways to meet the needs of your family while creating the margins in your everyday life as a mother.
About MomQ
At MomQ we believe that motherhood is a calling from God. While it is both a privilege and an honor, it is by no means easy! Moms have a lot of questions/concerns and need caring support along their journey. Whether you are a brand new mom or a little more seasoned, MomQ is here to help you fulfill your God given role. Don’t see a group in your area? Contact us today about starting one in your community!
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