Candace Nassar (00:00)
Well, hi Ashley. I am so glad that you’re here today. I’ve been really looking forward to this conversation and the heart that you have for encouraging moms. It’s going to be a good one. So thank you for being here.
Ashlee (00:13)
Thank you for having me, I’m so excited.
Candace Nassar (00:16)
Yeah, it’s gonna be really good. to start, why don’t you introduce yourself to our listeners and then you can tell us what led you to start The Purpose of Motherhood.
Ashlee (00:25)
Sure. Okay, so I’m Ashley Kastin. I am a homeschooling mama five in North Carolina. My husband is a pastor at our church and this is where we live and do ministry. I have been at home since my oldest was a baby when I was actually pregnant with her. I was a teacher at the time and then they had these crazy teacher layoffs that year. And if you didn’t have what they called tenure at the time, it doesn’t exist now, but they called it tenure. If you didn’t have tenure, you got cut.
And so I got cut, but secretly I had been praying that the Lord would make a way for me to be a stay at home mom. And so that was it. I was like, well, I can’t go get another job, you know, seven months pregnant. So I started staying at home then. through that experience of all of sudden having a baby and being at home and going from a place where I had a career and you you kind of have
Candace Nassar (01:06)
Wow.
Ashlee (01:20)
like goals that you’re trying to achieve and you even have someone patting you on the back telling you you’ve done a great job. Going from that to being at home with a baby who doesn’t even talk to you, it was just this huge shift. And so I had a lot of struggles in motherhood, which I’m sure we’ll talk about today.
And because of that, I developed this heart for motherhood in general for just helping moms to see the great purpose that’s there. That’s kind of that hidden treasure that’s not easily apparent on the outside, but this great treasure that there is in motherhood and helping them to go from weary and burnt out or overwhelmed to just flourishing in motherhood. So it started as the Lord just putting it on my heart one day in prayer. He started just speaking to me about the purpose of motherhood and what it really looks like. And I just couldn’t get that out of my head.
You know, those God moments where he keeps speaking and it just gets louder and louder and it becomes such a burning thing in your heart to where if you don’t let this thing out, it’s gonna explode inside your chest. That’s how I felt. Like I know you’re calling me to do something for mom. So that was seven years ago when he put it on my heart. So here’s a lesson in this because God’s timing is everything. So sometimes he’ll give you the seed for it, right? But it’s not fully time for this thing to take off and sprout. so.
Candace Nassar (02:18)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (02:36)
That was seven years ago, he put that on my heart and I had written a couple of books since then. he was like calling me to write books and start to really, I guess, kind of start to express myself in that way through writing. But he also had a great work that he wanted to do in my heart.
So there was a lot of lessons that needed to be learned so that he could get me into a place where I could steward something like this really well. So seven years later, out of nowhere, last spring, I felt like the Lord started kind of almost like he was telling me like, run, it’s your time to run. this past seven years was preparation. He was like, okay, now I want you to run. And so I started sharing online just to encourage moms and the thing took off. And I was like, okay, Lord, here we go.
Candace Nassar (03:23)
Wow, that is incredible. Yeah, your Instagram is really good. It has so many good resources and tips and yeah, those prayer that we’re going to talk about how to incorporate prayer into the everyday of motherhood. But you’ve got some really good prayers on there and things to think about. So we definitely want our listeners to be headed there. And are you telling me that’s just been since last spring that all that happened? That’s incredible.
Ashlee (03:28)
Thank you.
Ashlee (03:35)
you
Ashlee (03:45)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I was, yes, we’re actually coming up to take our yearly beach trip again next month. And I was just remembering it was last year. So almost exactly a year last year at the beach. And I remember being out on a walk and the Lord saying, start sharing. I want you to start sharing. So it’s kind of just this crazy moment going, I didn’t even, like I had no following, nothing a year ago and just was like walking in obedience and yeah, yeah.
Candace Nassar (04:10)
That’s incredible. I love how always God’s timing. I mean, he calls us to things and sometimes we can try to push and push and get in the way and take control. Like the Hagar situation with Abraham, right? God made a promise. He told you he wanted you to do this. You were waiting for the timing and you waited till just the right time, obviously, and then he exploded it for you. That’s a real encouragement.
Ashlee (04:15)
always.
Ashlee (04:21)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (04:25)
Yeah. Yeah.
Candace Nassar (04:38)
So thanks for sharing that. And I gotta ask, how in the world are you doing this with five kids?
Ashlee (04:45)
Okay, well, nap time is when I get most of my work done. I don’t take naps, you know, and I don’t watch TV. That’s the two things I feel like, because you really do have to, like you can find the time as a mom. If the Lord has put something on your heart, and there’s so many moms that want to write books or they want to lead women’s groups, you know, we all have these desires or even just have a little side business, but we have to be really protective of our time. The enemy comes to,
Candace Nassar (05:00)
Mmm. Mmm.
Ashlee (05:12)
kill, steal, and destroy our time as well as us and our kids. Because our time is one of our greatest assets and we can use it for the kingdom or we can use it just on entertainment or things. And not that it’s wrong. Obviously you can have your fun and it’s not wrong to watch TV. I don’t believe that. I just knew the Lord was calling me to something different. And I actually started that when I was writing my book. So this was years ago. That was one of the things the Lord was teaching me is to be careful with my time, what I spend on it, you know, it on.
Candace Nassar (05:15)
Mmm.
Candace Nassar (05:31)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (05:40)
Um, it is, it is.
Candace Nassar (05:40)
Yeah, it’s a sacrifice, right? Because you’re doing it for him to be obedient and then he’s using it. And I’m sure you have lots of ways to relax and fill your cup still. So you can tell us about some of that. So Ashley, why do you think so many moms resonate right now with your message?
Ashlee (05:48)
Yeah.
Ashlee (05:53)
yeah, yeah.
Ashlee (06:01)
because there’s a huge attack on moms in the home for a few different things. But one of the big things is moms feel so insignificant and not seen. Particularly moms that come from a place like I did where you’re in the work field, know, maybe you have a boss or whatever that you’ve got all these accolades and things to achieve. And then you go into this place of being hidden. I think it feels so good as a mom just to feel seen.
Ashlee (06:27)
and for someone to know exactly what you’re struggling with and go, hey, I see you and what you’re doing is really hard, but it matters so much. In fact, it’s the most important work you will ever do. When a mom hears that, it does something in us. reaches this part of our heart that feels so dry and weary. So I think that’s one thing, but also just our culture that we live in. Moms are desiring to raise their kids differently.
Candace Nassar (06:51)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (06:55)
They’re seeing that there is a need for moms to turn their eyes back to their home and away from the world and really pour into their kids. But a lot of them feel confused on how to even do that. I felt very much that way. Like the responsibility of now discipling your kids can be a huge weight. so…
Candace Nassar (07:07)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (07:13)
I think for a lot of moms, it’s just feeling like you have a friend that’s coming alongside you going, hey, here’s a really easy thing that you can do with your kids today. Here’s an easy lesson. Hey, here are things that you can pray for your kid, for your child this week. Just something to follow takes that enormous weight of like, I have to teach my child about all the things about God. Like that’s my job now. How do I even do that? Where do I start? So that’s probably a big part of it.
Candace Nassar (07:23)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (07:35)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I agree. You know, it’s interesting. I mean, I left the work workplace 30 years ago to stay home with my oldest. I have three and now I’m a grandmother. So that’s, you know, come a long way. But I also felt lost even back then and we didn’t have the resources. I was I tried to keep working a little bit because I didn’t know what to do with myself. But, the Lord called me to a Bible study that I had never done anything like that. And that is the beginning of my journey with him. that is, I mean, honestly, when I read the truth of scripture about what I was doing with raising this child, it just completely shifted. And I think that’s what so many moms, you the culture is telling us that we have to achieve to have purpose. have to achieve in,
Ashlee (08:02)
you
Candace Nassar (08:25)
a very specific way, our, use our degree,. We want to work hard, we want to achieve in the workplace, or we shift even still, I was working part-time, but I didn’t have that same, regular, I was working for myself. So that’s when it’s, you don’t have that, you’re reporting somewhere, you’re reporting to someone, you’re just lost.
And I love the fact that you have these resources. So you often talk about the idea that motherhood is a mission; It’s a mission field. Why don’t you tell us what you mean by that?
Ashlee (08:57)
Yeah. If there are any moms listening to this that maybe are like me and you have this like strong desire to do something for the Lord, right? Like you love him so much and you want to make a difference in this world. It’s so easy to look outside the home and think, well, but what am I really doing for the kingdom? Because I’ve barely got any time. I’m not going on missions trips. I’m not volunteering at all the organizations. I’m barely even able to serve at church. Like, is he unhappy with me? Is he mad at me?
And so part of my part of my big message is your home is your mission field. You are literally raising up, disciples in your own home. You are raising up little kids to love Jesus. And they’re going to see that through the way that you care for them, through the way that you, I mean, you’re just spending time with them. Like you are showing them the love of Jesus and the way that you teach them little lessons in the word of God. All of those things are building up to this grand, like ending or this grand goal, right?
Candace Nassar (09:33)
Amen.
Ashlee (09:55)
Like one day they are going to be outside your home and they’re going to be arrows sharpened and ready to do the work of the Lord. so having that mindset, be able to shift your mindset and go, no, this is mission work. This is actually the very, the most important work that I could ever do in my life is right here in my home. Nobody can replace me in this role. You can be replaced anywhere else in any job, in any volunteer position, you can be replaced, but you can never be replaced.
in the home. And so even though it just seems messy and loud and you know, especially when your kids are little and you’re like, this does not feel like mission work. This doesn’t feel like anything huge or impactful. But one day when those little sprouts or oak trees and you can see just the great foundation that you’re able to give them while they’re in their home and not because you’re perfect, but just because you’re relying on the Lord. It’s like, then we’ll have a bigger picture of it. I get it now.
Candace Nassar (10:42)
Absolutely.
Yeah, that’s so great. You know, I’ve been thinking while you’re talking about those moms that are like me, that are achievement oriented and suddenly this mission field, like once I understood Deuteronomy 6:4 through 7 and how, you know, God wanted me to pour into my children, you know, walking along the road, everything I was doing, then, I began to turn it into this whole like, I got to do this perfect, right?
And MomQ, we have chapters around, we work with churches and mentors, and we do hear stories of moms who just become obsessed with making everything perfect in the home. you know, just because they’re stay-at-home mom, I guess where I’m going is, how do we guard against that mentality of controlling everything, trying to make sure our children trust Jesus, and
obsessing over that mission field.
Ashlee (11:37)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. One of the prayers that I love to pray, actually just was sharing about this today, is creating me a clean heart, Lord, and renewing me a right spirit. And I think as moms, there are so many different ways that we can go off, and one of them being perfectionism or control is a huge one. And so what I like to do is when I get out of bed in the morning, that’s one of the prayers that I pray. And I’m not perfect at that either, right? Because that could become an achievement thing.
But having that heart, it’s like first thing in the morning, I usually pray like, Lord, anoint my hands for the ministry of motherhood today. Like whatever you wanna do with my kids, like give me ears to hear and eyes to see. And then I’ll pray, God created me a clean heart, renewing me a right spirit. If there’s anything off in me, I think we always have to go to the Lord and say, heart check, Lord, like, am I trying to control? Am I trying to perform? Am I living in fear or anxiety or doubt? What can happen as a mom is that,
we can start carrying these weights because what you’re talking about, right, like a performance achievement, it becomes this weight on it. It’s something we’re not meant to carry. We’re called to be sheep, not camels, right? That’s what I like to say. Like we’re literally not built to carry a weight on us. And what can happen is we go through life and we start picking these things up and unknowingly we put them on our back. And then what society will do is it will normalize it. So it’ll tell you,
Candace Nassar (12:37)
Yes.
Ashlee (12:55)
It’s normal to be fearful. It’s normal to have anxiety about things. It’s normal to be an achiever and to try to perform. really like society, the message of society backs all the things that the Lord never meant for us to carry. And so having that posture to go, you know what? Pride is a very sneaky sin. We don’t often see it and that pride can easily block us from
Candace Nassar (12:55)
Hmm.
Ashlee (13:21)
seeing all the things in our life that do need changed. Because what you’re saying right here, know, with discipling your kids, turning that into an achievement performance thing, that doesn’t look like sin, right? It doesn’t look like it at all. It looks like, I’m a good mom and I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. That’s why we have to have that posture of creating me a clean heart, Lord, and renewing me a right spirit. Show me the things I’ve been carrying that are not mine to carry and that are actually keeping me from flourishing truly in motherhood.
Candace Nassar (13:32)
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Candace Nassar (13:52)
Beautiful. Gosh, I love that. Yeah. Great prayer. Start the day before your feet hit the floor, right? cause the temptation is, yeah, exactly. mean.
Ashlee (13:57)
before because once they hit the floor yeah once they hit the floor then the day it’s gone yeah
Candace Nassar (14:03)
And then I’m sure prayers throughout the day. So before we get to that, why don’t you tell us a couple of stories like that moms can grasp onto like a moment when you felt overwhelmed or unsure and God used that to teach you something important.
Ashlee (14:19)
Mm-hmm, yeah. I always like to share, because I think it’s so easy for us as moms to look at a woman in ministry, right, a mom, and be like, she’s perfect. She’s never experienced what I’ve experienced. One of my lowest points in motherhood was one day where my oldest daughter was going through a really strong-willed phase, which I’ve learned now that seasons are just seasons. They’re not forever. And so don’t look at your child in the season and try to predict their future, okay?
Candace Nassar (14:45)
Mmm.
Ashlee (14:45)
First of all, it’s not good for your mind. You don’t want to go there. But also it’s it’s literally like seasons are short. Just they feel long when you’re in them. But I promise, like your child who’s two and throwing a tantrum is not going to be doing that when they’re 16. So my daughter was in a hard season and she was just very, very strong willed. And I remember feeling so conflicted, I guess, with even discipline. It was just a whole nother topic. Right. Because
Candace Nassar (15:11)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (15:12)
Like there’s just so much misinformation and no matter what you do, it’s causing trauma, right? That’s what society tells us. And so I remember just feeling like at a loss, like what do I do? And she was running from me in the house. I don’t remember what it was, but I told her that she was getting something taken away. I don’t know. And she’s like running from me in the house. And I’m like starting to get out of control because I’m like, I feel like I have to control her, right? And so I’m like, I need to make you be a well-behaved child and you’re not behaving right now.
What do I do? So anyways, it escalated so much where she’s yelling at me and is like, well, I, you’re not a good mommy, something like that. Well, she runs out of the house, right into the driveway. Okay. It’s like, it’s escalated to this point, runs out of the house. She’s like four, runs out into the driveway. And I remember in that moment being like, well, I guess the only thing to do is to shut the door and lock it. So I shut the door.
locked it and then instantly I felt the Holy Spirit convict me so quick, right? And I opened the door and of course she’s crying. Now I’m crying too. And she comes in. We had a moment of reconciliation, but I realized that what I was doing is first of all, letting society confuse me about discipline, but I was also letting my emotions lead me instead of the Holy Spirit because what will happen in those situations if your emotions are leading you.
Candace Nassar (16:12)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (16:24)
huh. huh.
Ashlee (16:25)
you will spin out of control and your children will spin out of control. And they need us to be so even keeled and reliant on the Holy Spirit that despite how they’re acting, the way that we are standing firm and discipline and loving them does not change.
So that was a, that was a big learning moment. I actually wrote about that one in my book because I’m like, moms need to know that first of all, like none of us are perfect and we’re always learning like you know, but also that there is so much hope for us to be able to not parent from this reactive emotional state.
Candace Nassar (17:06)
That’s so good. You know, I have to share, I have grown kids, right? And my daughter, want those, I want all moms to know that even when you screw up, I love the words you used that there was reconciliation because I have screwed up so many times. One time with my now 33 year old daughter who strong willed, and let me tell you that will is now the senior vice president in New York city of a PR firm.
Ashlee (17:32)
Believe it.
Candace Nassar (17:33)
Yeah, she is. She’s amazing. I homeschooled her for a number of years and at one point the very last year she was just refusing to do her Latin videos, you know, come on. she walked off and I got so mad at her. I grabbed I grabbed her and what I ended up grabbing was her hair and pulling her right.
And she looked at me with this look like you are out of control. And I just went, my gosh, you know, and I just, it was a moment, right? Being led by my emotions, not being in the Holy Spirit. And then we repaired it. We are so close today and God has used all of those things, right? But yes, I love what you’re saying. And that’s a lot of where just surrender and prayer comes in, right? And then just apologizing. I’m always talking about the importance of repair. So thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
Ashlee (18:21)
Yes. Yes.
Candace Nassar (18:25)
Okay, so you write about the idea that what happens in our homes matters eternally, and it absolutely does. So how does a mother’s walk with God begin to shape the spiritual atmosphere of her home?
Ashlee (18:38)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, your kids are always watching you and more important than what we speak to them is what they see us do because that’s what they will replicate. My mom is a praying mom and always always been a praying mom and I watched her throughout my life. I spent time with the Lord in her prayer chair and it wasn’t hours in prayer. You know, she is a stay at home mom. It was hours in prayer and it wasn’t some grand.
It would just usually be her with her cup of tea, sitting in her chair with her Bible open and praying. And then as I got older, I started to kind of hear the conversations of things they were praying for. They would share things with us and kind of invite us in on this journey with them on their walk with the Lord. And so as I became an adult when I was out of the house, I naturally replicated what I had grown up with, what I had watched her do.
Candace Nassar (19:30)
Mm-hmm mm-hmm
Ashlee (19:31)
There’s so many things I do now where I’m like, oh my gosh, I’m so my mom, you know, like I am with like even with this morning with my cup of tea and my Bible, I’m like, have become my mother a hundred percent.
So I think, you know, even if you are like, maybe you’re not the mom that feels like you’re really good with teaching your kids the words, you struggle with that. Just start first with being the mom that shows them what it’s like to read your Bible or what it’s even if it just means it’s open on the counter while you’re
Candace Nassar (19:42)
Love it, love it.
Candace Nassar (19:57)
Yeah.
Ashlee (20:00)
cooking breakfast or while you’re washing the dishes, you just have the Bible open next to you. Just starting to show them or pray out loud, which can be so uncomfortable at first, but I promise it’s like riding a bike. feels awkward at first. And then before you know it, it’s so normal. Just start to pray out loud in front of your kids because they’re going to like your faith is going to transfer to the adjust them watching you and you inviting them alongside you in that journey.
they’re gonna catch so much of that. And that’s part of that training, that Deuteronomy, what you talked about. That’s what that looks like. It’s like just letting them see that this is who we are as a family. We are a family who prays, a family who prays, prioritizes the word. It’s planting those eternal seeds in them.
Candace Nassar (20:34)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (20:46)
Love it. So let’s talk about creating prayer as a rhythm, as a family rhythm. What, how can this look? What would that look like in the busy seasons of motherhood?
Ashlee (20:58)
Yeah. So like I was sharing earlier, I like to pray before I get out of bed in the morning because as soon as my feet hit the floor, the other little feet hit the floor and they need me. Now there have been some seasons of motherhood where I was able to wake up early before the kids. And I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now hearing that because it works for some and does not work for others. I have had little ones who, if I wake up earlier than them, then guess what? They start to wake up earlier. It’s like they can sense that I’m out of bed or something.
Candace Nassar (21:26)
Seriously.
Ashlee (21:27)
is so true. Or if you have a newborn and you’re up all night, you’re like, ah, ladies, no way I’m getting up early. And so if you’re able to do that, like maybe your kids are getting older now and you have the freedom that I, those have been some of my best days when I got some time alone with Jesus first thing. But even on the days where my feet hit the floor the same time as my kids, just saying those prayers before I get out of bed, it’s almost just like, think about it like this.
Candace Nassar (21:32)
Hmm.
Ashlee (21:55)
It’s not like this structured devotional time, this box that you are in and then you are out of the rest of the day. It’s relationship, right? And so it’s turning our eyes towards Him first thing in the morning. So in bed, Lord, I praise you. You’re a wonderful Lord. Thank you, Lord, for what you’ve blessed me with. I mean, just even gratitude, right? Starting with that, Lord, thank you for my house. Thank you for my children. And then going into creating me a clean heart,
Candace Nassar (22:17)
Perfect.
Ashlee (22:20)
What that does is it shifts our focus first on him. And then throughout the day, it’s just a little check back in, Like, Lord, would you help me with this child right now? Or if you’re praying for other people, whatever, you’re just kind of, it’s not, okay, I’m in the box now, I’m out of the box. It’s this relationship with him that you’re cultivating. So I would say if you’re mom looking to start a prayer routine, just start with there. Start with first thing in the morning before your feet hit the floor.
I really like, which I have a lot of resources for that too. I really like kind of structured prayers for moms too that made me feel like their brain is so scattered and they’re like, just please someone tell me what to pray because sometimes we even just need the ideas of what to pray for. I didn’t ever think about praying for my kids future spouses until someone told me about that. I’m like, yeah, I should be praying for that. So that I love to do too, just create structured kind of prayers just to get a mom going of like these are some areas you can pray for maybe even some wording.
Candace Nassar (22:54)
Hmm.
Candace Nassar (22:58)
Mm-hmm.
Ashlee (23:13)
for moms that that’s a little out of their comfort zone. But just even starting with there and then finding pockets of time like washing dishes or folding laundry or in the car.
Candace Nassar (23:23)
I read, I think I saw something either on your resources somewhere about praying over the cereal bowl or something like that. Yeah, whatever it takes, right? And you know, I’m thinking of just practicing the presence of God really. I think that’s something that I’ve really been working on over the last few years and what does that really mean? And it’s really just being aware. The Holy Spirit is with us at all times.
Ashlee (23:30)
It’s probably in there, yeah.
of six.
Ashlee (23:42)
Yeah.
Candace Nassar (23:48)
And it’s just understanding how to tap into that and just be aware. And, you know, there’s a wonderful book by Brother Lawrence from, I don’t know, centuries ago, right, about practicing the presence of God. that’s if we can do that and just begin that process and then our kids can see us do that and they can incorporate that. What a powerful, powerful thing, right, to really to cultivate that mission field that we have in our homes.
Ashlee (24:07)
Yes. Yes.
Candace Nassar (24:16)
So, yeah, so why do you think so many moms feel like they’re just surviving in this season?
Ashlee (24:17)
Absolutely.
Ashlee (24:26)
Well, I think that we are, we are, we’ve got a lot going on there. Let’s just go ahead and admit that that motherhood does take a lot. So there is the physical exhaustion part, even the mental exhaustion. Some of it is just because we do have a lot of hearts to care. Like having five kids, there’s just a lot that goes on with their needs and their wants. But what we can do accidentally is we can let things sneak into our life that create more overwhelm and chaos in our home.
Social media is one of them and I’m on social media, you know, encouraging moms, but I fully recognize that that’s not the best place for moms to spend their time and that can create comparison. It can create just time wasting and just more. I mean, it create fear if we’re watching, depending on what we’re watching and letting in. So I think with the amount of just how much we have in our lives just because of technology.
I think that creates a lot of the overwhelm and just feeling like we’re failing. I recently, this is something I was recently, kind of an aha moment that I had. Even if you think about the amount of text messages that we receive, if you go back like a hundred years, if somebody really wanted your, if they needed your help or something, they’re gonna come knock on your door. So how many people do you think are gonna knock on your door in a given day?
Candace Nassar (25:34)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (25:42)
Right.
Ashlee (25:47)
Like hopefully not more than one or two, right? You’re not gonna have 20 people come in and knock on your door, but that’s what phones do to us. It’s basically all day long interruptions, someone needs you, somebody is sending you something funny or they’re asking you a question. And then we wonder why we just feel like the walls are caving in on us. It’s because our brains are just trying to keep up with all this when we’re meant to just have that weight off and be in our homes with our kids.
focused on them. We can also let extracurricular activities do that too. If our kids are so super involved in everything, then we feel stressed because of that. And so we gotta evaluate that too. Like, am I letting something in my home that’s causing more chaos and overwhelm, making me feel like a failure? You know, asking the Lord, like Lord, reveal to me the things that I’ve said yes to that weren’t from you that I need to remove so I can really be a better mom.
Candace Nassar (26:16)
Wow.
Candace Nassar (26:22)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (26:41)
That’s so good. You know, it’s funny you’re saying that about text messages because I was just thinking that I was traveling last week and I didn’t get to a lot of text messages and all of a sudden I’m just feeling all this pressure like, oh my gosh, I got to respond. And wait a minute, that’s just not how it’s supposed to be. And I had that same aha moment. So that must be something the Lord wants our moms to hear today is that watch out for those text messages. I mean, think about the group texts and the threads and all the things. I mean,
Ashlee (26:52)
Yes?
Ashlee (27:04)
and let’s speak.
Candace Nassar (27:11)
Really setting boundaries around that too, because I’m super guilty. get it and I feel like, I got to respond right now. When, you know, I can think about back in my day when my kids, when I was raising my kids, I didn’t have that. And so, you know, I’ve got them telling me they need me right now. Right. And, and that’s, that’s really where the focus should be. And it’s really hard in today’s world to, to maintain that. So thanks for sharing that. So.
Ashlee (27:22)
Hmm.
Ashlee (27:27)
Thank
Ashlee (27:36)
Absolutely.
Candace Nassar (27:38)
What encouragement, Ashley, this has been a great conversation and you’ve given so much encouragement, but I also just for that mom right now who feels really exhausted and discouraged, what would you say to her?
Ashlee (27:51)
Yeah, this is my very, very favorite thing to share with moms is something the Lord showed me. The picture of the farmer. So as a mom, especially in those little years, you are the farmer and you go out there every single day and you’re planting seeds in the ground and you’re watering those seeds and you’re out there, you know, digging up the soil and you come in at the end of the day and your hands are dirty and you’re tired and exhausted. You’ve been in the sun all day.
And you look out at that field the next morning and it is the same dang field that it was yesterday. And you’re like, you’re telling me I spent all that time out there and that’s what it looks like. And that’s who we are as moms. That’s how we can feel. But one day that farmer goes out there after faithfully watering, even when it’s not perfect, even when the conditions aren’t right and he didn’t do everything okay. He goes out there and one day he starts to see some sprouts.
Candace Nassar (28:25)
you
Ashlee (28:47)
And then he keeps at it and keeps out at it until one day there are oak trees out there. So be faithful in what the Lord has given you and don’t grow weary of doing good because there is a harvest of righteousness coming. So know that what you’re doing is so important that it matters and it’s normal to feel tired and dirty hands at the end of the day and feeling like you can’t see any fruit, but you just stick to it and listen to the moms who now have those oak trees.
Listen to what, you like you sharing about your kids who love the Lord and you have these great relationships. Get around those moms so that you can get this long-term vision for motherhood.
Candace Nassar (29:21)
Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (29:24)
Yeah, that’s actually a part of what we do as we mentor younger moms and we pour into them. Yeah, I mean, because you’re playing the long game and it is not at all like we were talking about corporate America or jobs earlier where you get that six month evaluation. you’re doing a great job. No, it takes years and years and years. now that I just came back, I was visiting my daughter. I went to church with her.
Ashlee (29:32)
So good.
Ashlee (29:37)
you
Candace Nassar (29:55)
I had dinner with her and all her lovely Christian friends and just listened to their testimonies. And I’m just like, my gosh, we got here, man. We got here. And this is, it is by the Lord’s grace on my knees. I’m telling you, it is something. And then, you know, it’s got two other kids as well and grandkids. So.
Ashlee (29:59)
Mm.
Ashlee (30:04)
Okay. Yes.
Candace Nassar (30:19)
hang in there, right? Hang in there. I love that. The picture of the farmer’s field that every day it looks the same and then little by little you start to sprout. And I tell you the hardest years and in so many ways are those young years when you don’t see the sprouts. But then as now where I am where they’re full grown oak trees, I have to sit back and be quiet more. And that’s hard too. So, but God’s grace for sure.
Ashlee (30:35
Yeah.
Ashlee (30:43)
You
Candace Nassar (30:46)
for sure. So I know you just published something called flourish 30 day reset. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about that and how our listeners can find your resources.
Ashlee (30:46)
Yes.
Ashlee (30:57)
Absolutely. So I wrote this for the mom who’s looking to start consistent prayer routines for their child, but also the mom that wants to let the Lord come and remove some of those burdens like we talked about. Maybe the mom that is feeling weary and overwhelmed, frustrated with her kids, she’s snapping all the time. This is like a 30 day journey that walks you through prayers for your kids and prayers for your own heart and evaluation moments. And there’s also Bible verses that you can memorize with your kids.
just really meant to be this kind of reset for your heart and for your home so that you can shift the atmosphere of your home from one of chaos to one where the presence of the Lord lives. There’s also a quiz that moms can take before that to kind of evaluate the four ingredients every mom needs in order to flourish. And that’s another picture of the soil and the seed, but a mom is like the seed in the soil, right? Like she’s her own seed in the soil, but first she has to have clear soil.
in order to be able to flourish. So that’s that heart work of like, what burdens do I have here that are going to keep me from growing? Mine was fear and anxiety. I was a very anxious mom until the Lord completely freed me of that. And so if we have those things in the soil, it’s going to keep us stunted. And we also need water, which is the word of God, and we need consistent discipleship in our life. We also need the son, which is presence of God, right? Practicing his presence in our home. And then we need support.
Like a tomato plant, for example, is going to fall over if it doesn’t have that support around it. And so mom needs that community to come around her to support her. So there’s a free quiz that moms can take to so they can see which area that they might be or might need nourishment in. And then there’s the 30 day reset after that.
Candace Nassar (32:19)
Mm. Mm-hmm.
Candace Nassar (32:34)
That sounds perfect. I love it. It’s a 30 day new habit, right? To get into new habits. Yeah, that’s really, really good. okay. So we can, I’ll put your links and everything in the show notes. And this has just been a great conversation. I hope that, yeah, just love our hearts for, for our families, for living a legacy for, we want our moms to do the same, our listeners. So just.
Ashlee (32:39)
new habits.
Ashlee (32:50)
I love doing so great.
Candace Nassar (33:03
praying for you in your ministry. Thank you for what you’re doing.
Ashlee (33:04)
Thank you so much.
Candace Nassar (33:07)
Great. Talk to you soon.
Ashlee (33:09)
Okay.
